GRAND RAPIDS, MI. - In the Van Andel Arena near the banks of the Grand River, Santino Marella continued to wade deeper and deeper into troubled waters. The Italian Stallion once again leveled an acerbic assessment of Stone Cold Steve Austins acting in the action movie The Condemned, which was recently released on DVD.
The former Intercontinental Champion even crooned a bitter tune
penned especially for the former WWE Champion, to the harmony of Amy
Winehouses Rehab:
Try to make me watch The Condemned,
I say No, No, No.
Its a sad fact,
Stone Cold cant act.
He should Go, Go, Go.
Its a mystery why the obstinate Marella keeps poking his fingers
inside the Texas Rattlesnakes cage and flipping him the bird. But as
anybody whos ever possessed the poor sense to antagonize Austin knows,
its only a matter of time before the rattlesnake draws blood.
And who could blame him for biting back? Here is a list of Marellas greatest hits regarding the six-time WWE Champion:
[Stone Cold Steve Austin], when it comes to your acting, the fact of the matter is, we are all condemned.
Dont worry, Stone Cold, Im sure there is a job for you
somewhere in some dinner theatre, or you can play Mr. Belding if Saved
by the Bell ever does a movie. But just leave the acting to
professionals.
If Stone Cold has something hed like to tell me, he can come
here and tell me himself. In fact, he can tell me on the street, in the
grocery store or he can come here to Raw, and he can tell me himself.
Santino, Santino, Santino. Marellas inflammatory words will no doubt result in a painful finale for the Italian.
In other developments on Raw:
Glamazon Era interrupted
Beth Phoenix made her Raw debut as the newly-crowned Womens Champion after she captured the title from Candice
Michelle at No Mercy. After promising to usher in the Era of the
Glamazon at No Mercy, Phoenixs plans to steamroll over all opponents
hit a speed bump. The Glamazon teamed up with Melina and Jillian Hall to tackle Mickie James, Maria
and the former Womens Champion, Candice. Once the bell sounded,
Candice proved that while she may have lost her title, she hasnt lost
her pride. As Phoenix had her powerful hands full with Mickie James
outside the ring, the Candy-coated Diva pinned Hall for the victory.
In a Snit
After last weeks jealousy-fueled cheap shot by Santino Marella, Val Venis
could not wait to shut the Italians pizza-pie hole. But rather than
face Venis in the ring, Marella arranged for the former adult-film star
to face off against Snitsky,
a Superstar whos been lurking around the Raw locker room for weeks,
itching to get his meaty paws on an opponent, any opponent. The
colossus channeled his considerable rage at the X-rated Superstar,
punishing Venis for having the audacity to defend himself. The money
shot came when Snitsky pump-handled slammed Venis and covered for the
three-count.
Kill or be Kilt
The Highlanders are so eager for an opportunity at the World Tag
Team Championships, the cousins McAllister were looking for a short
cut. But Paul London & Brian Kendrick
were determined to head Rory and Robbie off at the pass. The
high-flyers faced off against the Highlanders in a bout to determine
which team would move one step closer to a title match with reigning
Champions Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch. The Highlanders, who had mercilessly attacked London & Kendrick two weeks earlier, overpowered the smaller duo for the win.
Game Over
Triple H
is no ordinary man. Hes more like a machine, fueled by pride,
determination and gallons of rebellion. But even a machine has limits.
After competing in three WWE Championship matches the night before at No Mercybeating Randy Orton and Umaga
before falling victim to Orton in the third and final boutThe Game was
forced to face off against both Umaga and Orton in a Handicap Match.
Arranged by a vengeful Mr. McMahon, the combined forces of a Legend
Killer and a Samoan Bulldozer
proved too much for the Game and his injured ribs to overcome. Even
after Orton left the ring, Umaga stayed behind to further punish a
beaten down Triple H. The Samoan Bulldozers relentless attack ensured
that bad blood will continue to flow between he and the Game.
Hardy Takes Off
Two of the brightest Superstars in all of WWE faced off when Intercontinental Champion Jeff Hardy and Mr. Kennedy
battled in a non-title match. Hardy managed to eke out a victory over
Kennedy during a brief moment of overconfidence by the Green Bay, Wis.
native in a physical, hotly-contested war. Perhaps the Rainbow-haired
Warrior moved himself up the ladder of contention for the WWE
Championship.
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