TNA Impact Results - 1/31/13
Posted by Steve Carrier on 01/31/2013 at 07:36 PM

Bad Influence start the show off by coming out to the ring in kilts and highlander face paint. They say that they're happy to be in Manchester and they're here to honor the real warriors of the UK: the Scots. Endearing themselves to the crowd right off the bat! Kazarian hands the mic to the man he says should be the World Champion right now, Christopher Daniels. Daniels calls the crowd a bunch of tossers...then my picture freezes up. They must have really had a bad reaction to that. Everything gets back to normal as Magnus comes out to the ring to share his theory on why Daniels isn't the champion: because Jeff Hardy beat him 1-2-3 in the middle of the ring, because he's a grown man who uses words like appletini, and maybe it's because they're a couple of disrespectful muppets in need of a good thrashing. He says that if they want to fight an Englishman, one of them can fight him. Daniels says that he's in for a penny and in for a pound, then slaps Magnus. Magnus unloads on both of them, then clears both men out to the floor. Magnus gets a mic and tells the fans that it's an honor for everyone in the locker room to do what they do for the fans, but that privilege was taken away from him by Aces & Eights. He's calling out the man who orchestrated that attack, and tells Devon to get out there and face him one on one...NOW!

Magnus vs Devon

Magnus takes the fight to Devon right from the bell, clotheslining him out to the floor and ramming him into the ringside barricades. Magnus takes a drink from a fan and smashes it over Devon's head, then rolls him back inside. Devon kicks the middle rope into Magnus' groin as he gets back into the ring, then runs over him with a clothesline before choking him on the middle rope. Mike Tenay talks about the history of British wrestling as Devon legdrops Magnus for 2, then does the Hogan ear wave. Devon hits a flying back elbow and chokes Magnus in the corner, then changes it up to a nerve hold. Magnus tries to fight his way free, but Devon takes him out with another clothesline. Devon tries coming off the second rope with a headbutt, but Magnus rolls out of the way and then takes Devon out with a flying knee. Magnus flattens Devon with a Marufuji clothesline and hits the Michinoku Driver, but Aces & Eights rushes the ring to cause a DQ before Magnus can get the pin.

Winner: Magnus by DQ

Aces & Eights brawls with Magnus long enough to let Devon roll out of the ring, then they head for the hills.

We see a video package looking at Joseph Park's journey to becoming a member of the Impact Wrestling roster, and we'll find out who he challenges to face him...NEXT!

Aces & Eights brawls with Magnus long enough to let Devon roll out of the ring, then they head for the hills.

We see a video package looking at Joseph Park's journey to becoming a member of the Impact Wrestling roster, and we'll find out who he challenges to face him...NEXT!

Bully Ray, Sting, and Brooke Hogan are backstage and Bubba is stressing out that they haven't heard from Hulk yet. Sting says Hulk told him he'll be here, and Brooke says even she doesn't know what's going on but to try her phone.

Joseph Park is in the ring saying that this is his first time in the UK and they really are the craziest, wildest fans in the world. He's spent the week preparing and deliberating, and it's been a tough decision, but...wait a minute, Robbie E's music hits and he says to wait just a minute, bro. He says this must be a joke because the last thing Park is is a wrestler, bro, because he's just a hamster like everyone else in the UK. Robbie starts jabbing his finger into Park's chest as he continues to rip on the UK, but then turns around and sees his bouncer Robbie T (from the UK) giving him the death stare. E says he doesn't mean him because he lives in America and is basically American now. He makes fun of Park's notebook and tells Park to fight him, bro, and Park says he's on.

Robbie E vs Joseph Park

E uses his speed to duck around Park and tries a crossbody, but just bounces off of Park. E with a punch to the breadbasket and he yells at Park while putting the boots to him, but Park hits a hiptoss, an armdrag, and a bodyslam. Park looks shocked at himself as he sets up for a big splash, but E moves out of the way and Park hits the canvas. E goes back to stomping on Park and drills him in the head with right hands, then he takes Park out with a clothesline from the second rope. E goes back to the second rope and comes off with a measured fistdrop, but Park kicks out at 2. Park dodges a charge in the corner and E splits his uprights around the ringpost, then Park does the Warrior rope shake before laying E out with a series of clotheslines. Park misses a charge in the corner, but he hits a belly to belly suplex, then comes off the second rope with a splash for the win.

Winner: Joseph Park

Park can't believe he just won the match, and E is giving T a piece of his mind out on the floor as the winner runs around ringside high fiving the fans.

Austin Aries comes out with Bobby Roode and says that they have been getting the short end of the stick for some time now, but they're going to collect all the gold: they'll start with the Knockouts Title, the TV Title, he'll take the World Title, but they'll start by winning the easiest one to win, the World Tag Team Title. Roode says Chavo and Hernandez are a couple of wankers, but before he can continue, Chavo and Hernandez come out to say they're crazy to think it'll be easy to beat them for that title. He asks if they're even a team because you have to qualify for a shot at the title, and Aries says Roode beat Hernandez all by himself and asks what Chavo suggests if he needs more qualification. Chavo says they should fight since it's Open Fight Night, and Aries agrees that if one of them beats one of the champions, they get a title shot. Aries and Chavo say they got this one, and it looks like we've got our next match!

Austin Aries vs Chavo Guerrero Jr

Chavo goes after Aries but gets hot shotted about a minute in. Aries tries a slingshot senton but Chavo gets the knees up and then rams Aries into the corner. Chavo stomps Aries out in the corner as we go to commercial.

We're back and Aries tosses Chavo out to the floor and takes him out with a heat seeking missile. Aries quickly rolls Chavo back in and goes for a cover, then unloads on him in the corner with chops. Aries goes for several pinfall attempts, but Chavo keeps kicking out. Aries tries to humiliate Chavo by going for the frogsplash, but Chavo says he's the only man who can steal that move and rolls out of the way. Now Chavo is pissed and he's unloading on Aries, backdropping him and taking him out with a forward rolling kick. Chavo steals the Three Amigos and goes up top to steal the frogsplash as fans chant for his uncle. Chavo hits the frogsplash, but Bobby Roode distracts the referee and draws Hernandez on the apron. While the referee is busy with Hernandez, Roode sets Chavo up so Aries can hit the brainbuster for the win.

Winner: Austin Aries

Brooke Hogan runs into Mark's locker room to tell him that HE'S HERE, then they scamper off holding hands to see HIM.

Kurt Angle is backstage with his young boys saying that all he wants is Ken Anderson in a cage, and Joe says that last time they got Aces & Eights in a cage, he got locked in there alone with him. That won't happen tonight, Garett and Brisco say they won't let it happen and they're going to be there for him, but Joe says he doesn't need their help. Wes asks what Joe's problem is, and Angle says Joe's just being Joe but he's the guy he needs and not to worry about it.

We look at a video package recapping recent events in the Hulk-Brooke-Mark storyline, then Bubba and Brooke come out to the ring to share their mind. His love for Brooke got him suspended, but he and Hulk have a common enemy and they need to bury their problems and Hulk needs to lift his suspension so he can fight Aces & Eights. He and Brooke have both tried to get through to Hulk but failed, so now there's only one man who can do it and that's Sting. Sting comes out to the ring to lead the fans in a Hogan chant until His Lordship comes out to the ring. Sting says they have a war on their hands, they're back together in the UK, and he can't think of a better place for Hulk to make things right with Bully Ray than right here and now. Hogan tells Sting to say something he doesn't know, but whether he and Sting have been friend or foe, he always does the right thing. Wow, how's THAT for revisionist history? As of the day of Brooke's wedding, he still did the right thing by walking her down the aisle, and when his family is on the line, he always does the right thing and that's why Bully is reinstated, BROTHER. Bubba and Brooke are happy, but Hulk says that the one thing he gets a little crazy about is when he confuses business and family, and he needs to do something that's right for the business. So next week, Sting and Bubba will take on two members of Aces & Eights in a Tables Match. That seems fair to me.

We go to TNA President Dixie Carter, who announces that beginning in March, Impact Wrestling tapings are going on the road permanently. Good move, this has been a long time coming.

Velvet Sky comes out to the ring and calls out the two reasons she's not the Knockouts Champion right now: Tara and her girlfriend Jesse. Tara and Jesse come out and Velvet says that she didn't call them out for a handicap match, because while they were backstage drinking their lame protein shakes, she found a partner who drinks...only it's not protein shakes.

James Storm & Velvet Sky vs tara & Jesse Godderz

Storm eats Jesse alive, completely dominating him and hitting Snake Eyes. Jesse gets a shot in after Tara distracts Storm, and Taz threatening Todd Kenealy's life is more interesting than what's going on in the ring. Storm hits Closing Time and then tags out to Velvet, who comes in and takes Tara out with a swinging headscissors. Velvet with a rollup for 2, then Storm tags back in and hits Closing Time on Jesse again. Tara gets in Storm's face, but Velvet spins her around and hits In Your Face for the win.

Winners: James Storm & Velvet Sky

We'll get an update on Jeff Hardy after this commercial break!

Okay, we're back and here's the update: Hardy got an MRI. Yeah, that's it. We then look at a couple of segments ago when Hogan reinstated Bubba and made the tag match for next week. Hogan's backstage with Brooke and says that he changed his tune on Bubba when he saw the way he took a beating from Aces & Eights for his daughter, and that's why he gave Bubba the chance to take it out of Aces & Eights' hide. The official match, by the way, will be Sting and Bubba against DOC and Devon.

We look at the last time Kurt Angle and Ken Anderson were in a cage at Lockdown 2010, then we go backstage to Anderson saying that Aces & Eights showed him more brotherhood since he joined their group than he did in all the time he's been in TNA. He guarantees that Angle won't leave here the same way he came in.

We go back to Angle's locker room where we see that Samoa Joe has been attacked. Angle goes out to the ring by himself while Brisco and Garett check on Joe, and we'll see how this all turns out next!

It's main event time!

Cage Match: Ken Anderson vs Kurt Angle

Angle comes out to the ring with Wes Brisco and gets jumped by Anderson as soon as he enters the cage. Anderson unloads on Angle for a minute or two until he charges into Angle's elbow and then Angle takes him out with a clothesline. Angle gets several more clotheslines and an overhead relase suplex, but Anderson escapes an Angle Slam attempt and hits a Finlay roll for 2. Anderson rams Angle into the cage and rops an elbow on his bad neck, but Angle reversed a whip and sent Anderson into the cage. He makes a cover, but Anderson gets a shoulder up at 2 as we go to commercial.

We're back, and Angle is laying a beating on Anderson until Anderson drills him with a clothesline out of nowhere. Anderson tries to climb out of the cage, but Angle follows him up and they trade blows on the top rope until Anderson falls onto the mat and Angle falls and his uprights land on the top rope. Anderson covers for 2, then chokes Angle in the corner with his boot. Anderson tries climbing out again, but Angle follows him up again and this time hits a super Angle Slam. Both men are down as the fans are going nuts, Angle crawls over and makes a cover, but Anderson has had time to recover and kicks out at 2. Wes Brisco looks concerned outside the cage as Anderson hits the Mic Check, he immediately goes for a cover but Angle kicker out at 2.999. Anderson goes for another cover but Angle kicks out again, so he tries climbing the cage and gets caught yet again as Angle carries him out to the middle of the ring and DRILLS him into the mat with a powerbomb. Anderson kicks out at 2, but Angle catches the ankle on the kickout and hooks in an anklelock, forcing Anderson to tap out.

Winner: Kurt Angle

An Aces & Eights member climbs over the cage and comes in to attack Angle, Brisco gets into the cage to back Angle up and Angle tells him to lock the cage behind him. Brisco does so and they face down the Aces & Eights member, who takes off his mask and reveals himself to be Garett Bischoff. Angle is stunned and then looks at Brisco, who says he didn't know about this, but then Brisco takes out Angle's knee when he turns back to Bischoff. Brisco tears off the sport jacket to reveal an Aces & Eights jacket, and he and Bischoff beat Angle down 2-on-1. Bischoff finished the beating by hitting a Silver Slice on Angle, then he and Brisco celebrate in the ring as we call it a night.