In de lagere school en uiteraard in het
middelbaar ook, moet je tijdens de turnlessen zo nu en dan handenstanden
en rad en meer van die dingen doen. Net als het verhaal van de
achterwaartse koprol was dit bij mij altijd een ramp. Ik was altijd
diegene die als 'helper' fungeerde. Je weet wel; benen vasthouden,
anderen aanmoedigen, ophouden, ... Dat had twee redenen. De eerste reden
was dat ik op die manier zelf zo lang mogelijk ontkwam aan het zelf te
moeten uitvoeren omdat reden twee was dat ik telkens uitgelachen werd.
Hoe meer men met me lachte hoe meer schrik ik had om het te doen.
Uiteindelijk MOEST ik het wel altijd doen voor 'punten'. Dat resulteerde
dan uiteraard in een meer dan mislukte poging waarbij de rest van de
klas het opnieuw kon uitproesten, ik alweer gebuisd was MAAR VOORAL; NOG
MEER SCHRIK had voor de volgende keer.
Nu, enige tijd geleden
besloot ik werk te maken van mijn handenstand. Ik wil het kunnen,
zelfstandig, zonder hulp van muren of stoelen, overal! Zo gezegd, zo
gedaan. Ik maakte een bord op Pinterest waar ik prentjes verzamelde om
als beginner een handenstand te kunnen uitvoeren. Het ziet er zo
makkelijk uit, de basisoefeningen met een stoel of een muur. Maar elke
keer overwint te angst dat ik opnieuw op mijn hoofd ga vallen. Dus het
voorlopig alleen doen zit er niet echt in. Omdat ik wel wil doorbijten
nam ik contact op met circusscholen. Geen van allen kon ingaan op mijn
vraag voor een paar privélessen tot ik over mijn schrik over ben om te
kunnen deelnemen aan acrolessen in groep. (Want ik droom er ZO hard van
om eens de Voltigeur ipv de Porteur te zijn! <3) Uiteindelijk kwam ik
via een vormingsplatform terecht bij een kleinere circusschool waar ik
nog nooit van hoorde. Wie niet waagt, niet wint, dacht ik, dus stuurde
ik opnieuw een mailtje.
Al heel snel kreeg ik enthousiast
antwoord om te vragen hoe ik het precies zag dat er zeker mogelijkheden
waren! Ik was door het dolle heen en vertelde waar ik wou aan werken en
hoeveel angst ik er voor heb. Ik kreeg heel begripvolle antwoorden terug
en vroeg dan uiteindelijk naar hoeveel de man vraagt per uur. Hij zei
dat hij niet vaak privélessen geeft en of het ok was dat hij even zou
nadenken over een prijs zodat het voor mij niet te duur zou worden ook
zodat ik misschien vaker les kon nemen als ik het fijn vond.
En
vanochtend kreeg ik ineens een bericht van hem! Ik was DOLENTHOUSIAST en
openende het meteen. Terwijl ik het las voelde ik me bleker worden en
ietsje wankeler op mijn benen staan. Ik ging zitten en merkte dan pas de
bezorgde blikken van enkele klasgenoten op. Dit is wat hij schreef: (hij= een man begin in de 30, getrouwd) "Hoi Knapperd, kon jij morgen al of niet? Betreft verloning, moet dat officieel zijn? (misschien kunnen we creatief zijn ?) :)"
Ik
was ZOOOOOO blij dat ik iemand gevonden had die me op mijn tempo over
mijn angst heen wou helpen en me zou begeleiden tot ik had wat ik wou;
zelfstandig een handenstand kunnen uitvoeren zonder welke hulp dan ook.
En nu? Nu ben ik ongelooflijk verbouwereerd. Ik blijf het moeilijk
vinden om te geloven dat het echt is. Ik weet niet wat ik moet
antwoorden. Wil hij seks bedoelen met dat creatief zijn? iets anders? Ik
weet het niet. Het maakt me radeloos en doet me opnieuw een beetje
vertrouwen in mannen verliezen... :(
Zondagochtend besloot ik voet bij stuk te houden en P. niet als eerste te sturen. Hij had een laatdienst, ik vermoed met een wat pushende vrouwelijke collega die hem aanspoorde me een bericht te sturen, want ineens kreeg ik dit:
P - 19.57: Hey cava? Hoe staat het met de stageopdracht? L - 19.57: Dag P! Ze is AF! Eindelijk. :) Ik was het kotsbeu. Nu weer tijd voor leuke dingen. Hoe gaat het met jou? P - 20.23: CV met mij, gisteren was m'n pijp uit hoor. Nu veel drukker als gisteren op het werk, nog niet stil gezeten. L - 20.24: Oh, amai, het kan snel veranderen he. Gelukkig is het je laatste voorlopig! :) P - 21.20: Idd. Zitten juist neer, nu nog papier werk en het zit erop voor vandaag. L - 21.21: Veel succes ermee. Ik duim voor je dat het vlot gaat. :) p - 23.18: Net vertrokken, nog een spoedopname gehad en zo is alles uitgelopen.
Ik was al een poos in slaap gevallen en las z'n laatste berichtje pas maandagochtend. Ik antwoordde om 10.41 met 'Goedemorgen P, hopelijk maak ik je niet wakker. Het was nogal laat precies gisteren?! :/ maar je heb je enkele dagen vrijaf, toch? :) Geniet van je dag.
En intussen zijn we dinsdag laatavond en heb ik hem nog steeds niet gehoord. Ik begrijp het niet, helemaal niet. Ik weet niet eens meer wat ik moet doen; wel of niet sturen?! Ik had gehoopt dat hij nu eens wat initiatief zou nemen, maar blijkbaar is zelfs dat teveel gevraagd. Mensen zeggen we dat hij vast tussen de koeien in de stal zit. Maar moet ik het daar dan echt mee doen? Hem NOG een bericht sturen behoort ook niet echt tot mijn opties vind ik. Mijn broer adviseerde me dat er nog vis zit in de vijver. En ondanks het feit dat ik weet dat ik een man wil die ook wat initiatief neemt en hem op z'n minst eens laat horen, deed het pijn. Pijn omdat ik begreep uit m'n broer zijn woorden dat ik P moet loslaten. 'Alweer één!', dacht ik bij mezelf. Ik heb zo gehuild en B en was zo gelukkig toen P ook interesse in mij leekt te hebben en nu moet ik hem ook weer loslaten?! Het was zo ontzettend lang geleden dat ik me nog zo goed bij iemand heb gevoeld. Zo rustig als we konden babbelen kon ik volledig vrij, mezelf zijn. Ik blijf erbij dat ik bij hem het gevoel had adem te krijgen. Ergens dacht/denk ik dat hij weinig ervaring heeft met relaties, maar eigenlijk voel ik me nu vooral radeloos. Misschien had ik teveel gehoopt dat hij 'The one' zou zijn.
Ik keek naar Once Upon A Time zag (toevallig?!) de afleving waarin Charming Snow White vond door de ring. Ik voelde een traan over mijn wangen rollen terwijl ik naar mijn replica van de ring keek om mijn middelvinger. Ik weet wat gegraveerd staat aan de binnenkant maar deed de ring toch af om het opnieuw te lezen.
'I believe - True Love'
Ik slikte de tranen en het bijhorende verdriet door terwijl ik nog een laatste keer onverhoopt op mijn gsm keek of P intussen zou gestuurd hebben. Ik bleef staren naar het scherm net zolang tot het wachtlichtje uitging en besloot in bed te gaan liggen.
P had me gestuurd dat hij me nog iets zou laten weten, maar dat bericht kwam pas gisteravond om 22.01, vlak na zijn shift dus. De conversatie ging als volgt:
P: Ga mij gaan omkleden, net gedaan L: Tot straks! P: Ok, spreken we binnen af? L: Ja, dat is goed. :)
Hoewel ik me ongemakkelijk voelde, want ik ga niet zo graag naar cafés en zeker niet naar diegenen die ik niet ken of waar ik zelf nog niet ben geweest. Als ik binnenkwam hoorde ik veel lawaai en was het druk. Er waren heel veel mensen! De kerstversiering had plaatsgemaakt voor Star Wars spullen en de muziek stond luid. Achteraan was nog een bartafeltje vrij. Ik stuurde nog wat berichtjes met mijn broer tot hij ineens voor me stond. Hij zag er opnieuw goed uit. Hij had een hemdje aan met een V-hals truitje erboven. Ik had voor mijn zwarte spy-dress gekeken, die is niet TE chique, mijn haar was gewoon los.
Ik vroeg of het druk was geweest op de afdeling, maar hij zei dat het wel meeviel omdat er maar 9 patiënten liggen. We hebben gepraat. De hele avond lang. Over verpleegkunde, patiënten, stages, jobs en stageopdrachten. Ik vroeg hem naar de boerderij en hoe hij dat doet. Zijn oudste broer zou de boerderij uiteindelijk overnemen, maar nu doen ze het nog samen. De oudste broer zorgt voor het vee, P zorgt voor de machines en al het werk dat daarmee moet gebeuren en de jongste broer voert de herstellingswerken uit. Hij zorgt hij samen met zijn broer afwisselende shifts heeft op het werk om de boerderij te kunnen blijven runnen. We hadden het over reizen omdat hij voor het eerst in zijn leven een vliegreis zal maken; een groepsreis met jongeren op zoek naar het noorderlicht. Hij wil graag naar Schotland, ik ook.
Hij vroeg waar ik wilde werken. 'I only don't know' - dacht ik bij mezelf. Hij vroeg me naar het dansen en de luchtacrobatiek. Hoeveel keer ik ongeveer optreed. Wat ik precies doe.
We hadden het over het kalf dat is gestorven toen hij net het geniale plan had om me een berichtje te sturen. Dat bericht heb ik nooit gekregen. Het kalf was een verlies voor de boerderij. Ze hebben twee honden op de boerderij: Duitse herders, lange haren. I love those!! Eigenlijk één hond op de boerderij en één hond privé. Het teefje is nogal dominant en kan het niet zo goed vinden met de reu, dus komen ze nooit samen. De honden komen nooit binnen; P is hyperallergisch aan ze. Hij had het ook dat hij drie jaar in zijn opleiding de enige man was tussen vrouwen en dat hij op de afdeling ook lang de enige man was. 'Al die vrouwen'. Dat doet me me soms afvragen of hij nu wel of geen vriendin wil.
Ik vind het leuk om naar hem te luisteren. Zijn ogen twinkelen als hij praat over de dingen die hij het liefst doet. Langs de andere kant is hij de rust zelve. Ik denk niet dat P ooit op te jagen is. Soms vraag ik me ook af of er wel genoeg pit in zit voor mij. Hij had snel genoeg door dat ik een vrij sterk karakter heb, maar of hij mans genoeg is om daar goed te kunnen mee omgaan weet ik niet.
Dus nu... weet ik het even niet. Het was een leuke avond. Ik was pas thuis om 2 uur, dat had ik niet meteen verwacht. Maar de 'Et après' blijft in mijn hoofd spoken. Ik weet niet wat er nu moet... Ik vind hem leuk, maar ik weet niet hoe het verder moet nu. Ik denk dat ik hem geen bericht ga sturen. Ik vraag me oprecht af hoeveel dagen het gaat duren vooraleer hij me stuurt, of er aan denkt om me te sturen.
I'm running a new internship in a non-psychiatric environment. No other students from my class or that I know, no friendly nurses who let me work together, ask how I'm doing, ... When I went to the toilet, from the moment I locked the door and stood there in that tiny room I realized how lonely and alone I felt.
Today is the last day of school for this year. That also means the very last day I'll be sitting next to him. Last day I get to talk to him and sink into his beautiful green eyes. I'll miss him!
We had an excursion with school. Because R and I had to come back to the same place we said we'ld go together. So, I went to pick him up. He was silent in the car. Busy on his phone. I was jealous to whomever he was texting. I want to talk with him so badly, but once again, I don't want to destroy his allready broken relationship. But it's hard to keep it all in. Yet we were sitting the whole day next to each other, so close, we're still so far.
When I was in London on a holiday last time, I bought a book. It has a gorgeous blue cover with silver linings on it. I loved it instantly. It's a story, some kind of a fairytale. I didn't bought it the first time I saw it, but I was so mezmerised it kept on popping up in my mind. So the other day I walked on in, in every single book store and I bought this beautiful book.
When I came home I felt bad about it, because I have 'no one' to read it too. When I realized I could've been reading this to my baby-daughter I lost, I bursted out in tears. I would have loved reading it to her. I wanted to read it to myself in my bed earlier this week, but I didn't had the courage.
This afternoon, together with my lovely dog R. We crawled up close in his basket. He rested his head on my legs when I opened the book 'The fox and the star'. I've been reading the whole book while I imagined my daughter crawling onto my lap too. Just the three of us.
R. listened very carefully and I was happy to be finally able to read it without crying that much.
Guess that's my equivalent of reading bedtime stories. I miss her! <3
I'm chatting with one of my friends. She asks how I'm doing and what I'm up to. I tell her about my Amaluna tickets from Cirque Du SOleil. I also told her that many people I know are suggesting I should ask them out. But the ugly truth is that when I bought these tickets, I bought two. I was saying to myself: By that time you will allready have a boyfriend. I imagined Amaluna as a perfect night out. Handsome fella came over to my place with a fancy car to pick me up, have a gorgeous night out together, guy brings me back home.
None of that is about to happen. My friend tells me to look for an escort. Just a handsome guy who knows what it's like to look after a girl and have a pleasant night out with. Though I had the feeling that I failed in life I went to my friend Google and saw my fingers typing male escort. Well, they're expensive. And not 'round my age, it would have been nice to find a good looking younger man. While shutting my computer down I thought about what I could do with all that money if I was an escort.
It's decided! I'm going to do a nude photoshoot. * HYPERVENTILATING*RUNNING CIRCLES*SCREAMING*FREAKING OUT* Okay, once again: I'm going to do A NUDE PHOTOSHOOT. From now on I'll try to breath normal and stop screaming. But I'm SO EXCITED. I mean, so excited. This is one of the things I really wanted to do for a long time, but I never took the step, because of... yes! Fear! It still scares the crap out of me but this time I'll push through.
In the end, I have to learn there's nothing wrong with nudity, or nude photography. If it's done by an artist, I'm not talking about cheap nude photos. I'm vulnerable and that's want I want to show myself in these photos. Though it will be quite a big lesson this time. Sometimes (most of the time) I'm ashamed to be naked and I'm completely uncomfortable with beeing sexy. Let alone pose sexy on a set.
So, here's my plan. I made two Pinterest Boards to show my photographer. So he'll have an idea of what kind of style I like. I've made a nude board and a boudoir board. The nude board is completely nude, but all classy! The boudoir board is way more sexy in some kind of way! Intentionally, I thought to use the lingerie/boudoir shoot if I should get cold feet and don't dare to go all naked. But at this point I'm not sure anymore, because the boudoir will ask a lot more sexy acting and doing.
Anyway, I'll bring EVERYTHING - sorry, everything - to the studio and let me be guided by the very professional photographer who said he did really like my style.
My make-up will be very basic, my hair just brushed and the rest will be naked truth. And you know what? I just can't wait to see myself through the eyes and camera of someone else.
Words are important to me. I always strive to use the right words and words that sound both positive and magical. I always get chills down my spine when somebody speaks to me with the right words too, or words that I really love!
If you want to wish someone good luck there are twee sayings. 'Best of luck' and 'All the best'. I've heard that you should use the first one if you're saying it to someone younger than you and the second one to someone older than you.
Y. is one year older as I am. Today he had an important day in court. This morning I've texted him 'Best of luck', because he doesn't deserve the right 'All the best'. Could have meant anything. Best of luck in court, in his office, in his life, on his travels, on his search for the right partner in his life, ... Few minutes later he answered: 'Thx :D'.
You're an ass Y, an ass! That was rude and you know it.
Anyway. Now I'll be switching on my television to watch the news. I'm pretty sure this handsome loyer will appear in a pretty suit and his smooth face. That'll be the last time I see him. After that he don't deserve my time or energy anymore.
I woke up early this morning with tired aching eyes. I felt lost because I felt dumped somehow. I wrote wrote wrote about 6 other pages in my notebook. I left to work and payed extra attention not to forget my phone.
I worked, was friendly as always to our costumers. I faked a smile every time I happily said 'Goodmorning! How can I help you?!'
Every now and then I checked my phone to see if there was a new message, but nothing came in. By the time it was 11.27 am my phone was making the noise of a text message comming in. I wasn't excited, because I taught I would have been someone, you know, not HIM. My boss said: It'll be him! Look at your phone!
She was right, it was him. This was what he wrote me: 'Hi! I couldn't text you yesterday because I had the brilliant idea to change my mobile subscription. :/ No worries! :)
I answered: Hi Y! glad to hear that! :) Beeing unreachable sucks indead. :/ Did you get some rest after your busy first week at your office? Happy Sunday! :)
And guess what. Ever since I've hit sent I didn't hear a message comming in. I feel lost again. I found a playlist on Youtube with sad violin music. It still doesn' to the thing, but it beats the silence a little. Maybe it was just too perfect to be true...
It hurts me so much because it was the first time I have ever felt so good on a date with a man. And not just a man. Y is as I wrote super handsome, clever, tender, gentle, ... He was everything I've ever wanted to see and have in a man. Yet it looks like the best thing I have never had, in fact. It also hurts because I have the feeling that I will never, ever find someone like him again.
So, this was my part 3 from a story that started so lovely with such a lovely man. It seems to end a bit more tragic for me. Don't tell me I'll find another one like him soon, or to get over it or to whatever what. I am a pisces, a very emotional one. So I'll need some time to cope with this. I also have the feeling that part 3 is the last part too though I hope so much I can write you and myself a happy ending in many many following parts in which we see each other again, go out, have walks, go to the circus and on holidays, ...
As you've read before I went to bed happy as a puppy. So guess how I woke up. TRUE! Happy as a puppy. That only happened at 3 AM. I felt like I almost didn't slept at all but I was wide awake. I shared long cuddles with my dog R. who was still tired. :D So I've let him sleep some more and started to write in my notebook. I wrote about my date with Y. Normally in the morning I only write about 2 pages, this time I wrote 5 pages. I was completely overwhelmed by his charms.
When morning finally came I decided to get out of bed. That was 'bout 6.30 am. I got downstairs with my dog and made myself a cup of coffee. I enjoyed the taste a little bit better than usual. I knew it was too early to text him or receive a text from him. So I started to clean my house in a happy mood! Have to admit that my house has never been this clean before and I have never enjoyed doing it so much. In fact I wasn't able to stop thinking about how our date was!
By the time it was 10 am I had everything done I decided to get showered and pay my mom a visit whilst she was working. I arrived just before noon and she didn't had her lunchbreak yet, so we were able to lunch together. She told me how beautiful I was with the curls still in my hair. So listened while I kept on talking about Y. I just couldn't stop saying: 'WHAT A MAN!'. :D My mom was so happy for me and said I deserve one like him.
But in between it was allready 1pm and I didn't heard something from him. I took my phone and looked the number up of a friend. I wrote her that I've never before was so addicted to my phone and I still didn't got anything from him. She answered not to worry. She also wrote that he maybe wanted to sleep a little longer after a busy week. He'll answer, she wrote. I thanked her and drove home.
3.52 pm, message to the friend: I'm going insane!! :( 4.01 pm, message from the friend: Don't despair! He'll be busy with something. It took him a long time yesterday too, to answer. It'll come. You'll see. 4.02 pm, message to the friend: *sigh* thank you. I hope it so so so much.
I got home and tried to sudy for school but my mind wandered every single time to Y again. I tried to find some musice to soothe my aching heart. But I couldn't find anything! Not pianomusic, not Tracy Chapman with the promise, not Stay with me from Twilight, not Sweet Goodbyes from Krezip did the thing. These songs are part from my normal 'cry a little and move on-pack'. But it didn't felt right. I was nervous, anxious, wondered about what could have happened, ... Minutes looked like hours, but eventually evening came.
7.38 pm, message to the friend: Still nothing... 7.55 pm, message from the friend: Oh, that's strange, didn't expected that. What are you going to do? 7.59 pm, message to the friend: I don't know! :( I wanted to text him but have no idea what to write. Don't want to be hopeless in his eyes too. 8.06pm, message from the friend: Yes, I also wouldn't send something. On the other side you can make your text sound like you're worried because you didn't hear him anymore. Maybe he'll answer that. 8.08 pm, message to the friend: Something like this? Hi Y! I hope you got home well yesterday night. Happy weekend! 8.11 pm, message from the friend: Yes! And also write that you find it a bit strange that you didn't hear him anymore. 8.13 pm, message to the friend: Doesn't that sound too pushy? Should I give him the chance to say that he didn't liked me? Hi Y! I've found it a little strange that I didn't hear you anymore. I hope you got home well yesterday night. Happy weekend! 8.15 pm, message to the friend: Hi Y! I've found it a little strange that I didn't hear you anymore, but I also don't want to be pushy. I hope you got home well yesterday night. Happy weekend! 8.17 pm, message from the friend: Yes, that's fine, you can't do more. But in the end if he had a good or bad feeling about the date, he could have let you known something. 8.19 pm, message to the friend: Yes, true! It's okay if I'm not what he's looking for but he could have said that instead of that we'ld be hearing and texting each other. 8.19 pm, message to the friend: I've hit 'sent'. 8.22 pm, message from the friend: You'll see if he answers. I hope so! 8.23 pm, message to the friend: If he gets in touch with me, I'll let you know. Thanks again!!!
So, this message was sent to him but I got more nervous than before! I didn't even gave my phone the chance to go in stand-by mode. I kept on looking while my heart was aching. At 9 pm I went to bed! Though I was completely exhausted I couldn't find some sleep. I kept on looking to my phone and my heart skipped a beat every time there was an alarm from Facebook or Viber or Whatsapp or whatever. But I didn't got anything. I bursted out into tears. I felt so lost. I really had such a good feeling about our date and him... I opened Youtube to find another song for my heart but couldn't find the right track. I didn't really slept. You know, that feeling between beeing awake and actual sleeping. That was it. The whole night!My eyes burned from beeing so tired!
I woke up early because I had to go to work. I thought again on Fridaynight, our date. Yeah, this was the best thing I have (n)ever had.
So... As many of you are wondering how my date was with Mr. Y., you'll find the full report right here! I will write it in different parts/episodes. I actually wanted to write it in 3 parts, but I'm not sure anymore I'll be able to capture it in only 3, so we'll see where we end. For now... Part 1.
When I came home from school on FridayI had a terrible headache so I went to bed and slept for 3 hours. After that I started to curl my hair which took about one hour and a half. While the curls where cooling down I went to bed again, headache still wasn't gone! I've put the alarm at 6 pm, which gave me 1 hour to get ready to leave for my date. I woke up and went to the bathroom. My hair looked absolutely adorable with these curls, I was happy with the result. I did some bobby pins and hairspray in it to keep everything into place. I did my make-up which was only concealer, a fine eyeliner and some mascara. Put on my dress and killer heels (I didn't want to look like Tumbalina!). And I was ready to go at 6.57 pm. I left the house and drove to R.
On my way I stopped to text him that if he would be early and he wanted to go in, the reservation was on my name. Almost immediatly I got a message back from him: 'Allright ;) but some, humble young men still wait for the woman to arrive. ;) See you in a minute.' Though I sat down in my car I felt my legs shaking a bit. So he truly is a gentleman, was what I thought. I went to the bank in a hurry and finally parked my car on the big square. Got another text from him: 'The high blue car is mine, though he's dirty in between from the appreciate farmers, but still... :/' I looked around but couldn't see a blue car. When I started walking I noticed a very high blue car. It was a Citroen, a car just a bit smaller than mine. Though I actually expected a more fancy car from him I texted 'A Citroen?' and got answered right away 'Nope, Subaru.' While I was reading this message I looked down my left side and saw another blue car, sure this was it. A fancy blue sportscar. Well, fancy... you know, I don't like it that much, but it totally fitted his personality. He got out of his car and we kissed each other.
I apologized for thinking he was driving the Citroen but said that his car was a little lower and I didn't see that between the other cars. He was tall, handsome, looked good, smelled good, was galant and genlte. He leaded the way, held the door open for me, gave me the seat, I was allready blown away. Seriously. Everything became SO very clear to me! This was the kind of man I'm looking for, I only didn't realize there were still young men like him alive. I felt so glorious. The girl at the restaurant was very friendly as usal and gave us the menu. Y. was doubting his choice and asked me if I knew that one plate was good? I answered that a friend of mine always took it and finds it delightful. So he chose that. He asked if I wanted to drink wine. When I answered that I don't drink alcohol at all he was clearly surprised. I told him that he shouldn't look at me and drink wine if he wanted to. And he said: 'No not at all! I'm strive to drink no alcohol, I will follow you! Shall we share a bottle of sparkling water instead?' I agreed. We ordered and then we started talking. I actually wanted to listen more than I should've been talking, but he started with 'So, you dance?!'. I told him about it and asked him out about his work after that. It was SUCH a pleasure to listen to him! His voice was so soft and strong at the same time! We talked about holidays, life, everyday stuff, circus, cirque du soleil ... we never had an akward silent moment. And I think I can say that we both talked and listened equal.
The food was delicious, but because I still felt a little sick I didn't ate that much. I was also too busy with looking and listening to him. Time passed away and I was sure that this was the best date I have ever had! We we're joking, smiling, laughing, talked about more serious stuff. He asked the bill and refused to let me pay a part. He asked if I ate the mints that we're given. He gave me his too. You can have it. We also got a little chocolate. He opened his and threw away the paper, while I was reading the 'Did you knew' on the inside. He didn't knew and opened his paper again after I told that.
When we walked out the restaurant he again held the door for me. We walked side by side while we we're still talking and we walked to his car. He asked where my car was. I answered mine was a bit further in the row and very polite he asked if it was okay he'ld walk me there. 'That would be lovely' I answered. I was impressed! How many guys still do that? This is the FIRST one in my life who ever asked that to me! He saw my glasses and the golden medaille from dreambootcamp in my car. I said that I also do competitions with bellydance. He was impressed. I was flattered. We gave each other a kiss and he said to me that we'ld be texting and hearing each other again soon.
I got in my car and freaked out a little. I screamed and found a smile far, far behind my ears. When I got back home I took my phone and wrote him this: 'Many thanks for this very pleasant night! Safe travels. x' I got answer right away (which means he drives and texts at the same time :/ ). 'You're most welcome. You too! Could not happend on my own! x'. I answered once again with 'Yes, that's true :)' and went to bed.
I was happy like a puppy and couldn't sleep. I was wide awake and though it was night I've checked my phone every waking hour.
This was the best date I have ever had! That was the only think I could think. The best that I have ever had!
