A couple of days ago it happened. The thing I feared the most trough all those years. My mom started talking about it. About the most horrible thing I've ever done. I thought that after all these years, it would be out of everyones mind. It's been more than ten years. Why did she even bring this topic up? I didn't have a clue. Untill a few hours later. Me and my brother had a huge fight. He's only thirteen years old but sometimes he can be a pain in the ass. My parents made him change schools while I didn't may. I had a horrible childhood. Especially my teenage years that is. Most of it because I didn't change schools. Also because of them. I got bullied. I lost my family. Had several deppresions and don't get me started on the suicide attempts. I screwed up big time this time. He hit me, I've hit him back. Straight in the face.

I didn't mean to get it this far. Yet it happened. But I know it's all because of them. For years they wanted me out of the house and now it's happening. All because of this. They just used him for it. He told me stuff, they told me also afterwards. The exact same sentences. I never wanted anything like this but it happened. The strangest part is that they've hit me multiple times in the past for no reason at all but I've never went to higher ground. They did that after the fight. Why? Just to get me out. They are sick in the mind. It makes me so sick typing all of this but it's true. I know it is. I just never thought it would happen like this. I'm getting my life on the rails. Going back to school to study something I want to make my profession in. Now they are breaking me. They are even trying to make it under ground. They want a life behind bars for me. Why me and not the people who gave my grandma those anti-depressive pills? They really should be behind bars.

But hey, that's just my family. It's not like I'm going to kill myself for this or anything. I mean I would but I couldn't. I made a promise to my cat (Tiger). I want to hold onto that promise I've made that peticular day. I'm truly sorry for everything I've ever done to anybody I've hurt. I know I've hurt my brother when I had my worst depression. It was also the first one. It just shouldn't have happened. I'm sorry.