It's my own fault that I'm still feeling these feelings. I should've end our relationship a while ago. You wanted to go into the army and I've always known that. I just don't want this life. I don't hear anything from you. I can't call you. Yesterday I've only gotten one text from you. It just said that your test was okay after all and that you would call me. And there I was, waiting. Crying myself to sleep because It happened again. At 5 am I got a new text from you. It just said that you can't text me all the time. Not a single word about how you are at the moment. Or even what is happening there.

I've made up my mind. I love you but I also love my heart and my mind. I hate that you can break my heart so easily. I don't need this. I don't even want this. I don't think this is just a temporary thing. It happened a lot when you were here. Frankly if you don't care, I won't care either. I'll make my beating heart a stone. I know what I've gotta do. I just don't want to but I also don't want this anymore. You were okay for as long as it lasted. I never were okay. Now I'm sinking like a ship. Diving into that dark place again.

I've loved you but I'm gonna let you go. I can't do this anymore. I can't be with you anymore. Sorry it's over. I've cried enough. My heart has suffered more than enough. I'm so done with you. If you passed, I would've broken up with you. But this sentence has changed. I don't even care if you pass or not. You lost me big time now. Just because of lack of communication. Just because I'm sick of your lies. I'm sick of this life.