Posted in the comments section of a video of a YouTube channel called: cocco  sir trips alot, and erased.

Oh is this the channel where we leave bad trip memories? I'm not American, not English speaking by birth either, I'm just mentioning. I had a really bad trip once. The name of your channel says: sir trips a lot, so... It was a summer festival with 50 000 people more or less, the weather was fine, the people happy, young, beautiful people. I was 18, I think, I was occasionally smoking joints, and occasionally getting drunk, and you know, my friends were faking all the way, and they used to be happy and party and dance all the time, and they hated me, because I was too serious (not fun to hang out with - at all - boooryyyng), I thought the world was way too stupid to be happy and party and laugh and whatever. I was unhappy with family relationships and any relationships. They used to play Bryan Adams a lot at that time: Those were the best days of my life... The best days of my life, certainly not. They didn't appreciate that I didn't appreciate it. I was gifted, I believed in myself, I thought I was smart, and I was ambitious in the sense that I wanted to not just be a stupid big boss and become successful like the people that made my life miserable, but I was ambitious in the sense that I wanted to do good things and have a real positive influence on people, but at that age no one believed in me. Smalltown boy, who do you think you are? You think you can make it in this world? HAHAHAHAHAHA! And the weight of life/the world on my shoulders was crushing me. So I was very, very tired of the thoughts that were dragging me down, it seemed like I was just working (I mean my mind was working) and I was suffering and I was depressed all the time. Sorry I was about to tell you about the drugs. The drugs, well, It was a summer festival with 50 000 people more or less, the weather was fine, the people happy, etcetera, I took LSD on an empty stomach. I was mainly just a dead body as a matter of fact, apparently I kept sitting straight and my spirit managed to keep my body alive. I was very self-conscious, I was very anxious, I was very worried about staying alive and my purpose, accomplishing the purpose of my life. Don't get me wrong, as much as I thought I would end up in a hospital or a coffin, nothing happened, nothing like that. The bands kept playing, the festival kept going, I was just furniture. I thought: well, maybe I won't succeed in accomplishing the purpose of my life as well as I would succeed in doing that if I hadn't had these disruptive dissociative hallucinogenic drugs running through my veins and my mind. I had serious thoughts, as it seems from this point of view (it's 30 years ago), but I didn't have at that moment the energy to keep my body alive, nor to keep my mind alive, nor to keep my mind in my body, because I figured at that time that if my spirit would leave my body, that would be a one-way street, there's no coming back. I thought there was 1% chance of getting out of that alive, as it turns out, survival instinct allows humans to get energy out of who knows what, who knows where, who knows how? The struggle is real, I can tell you that. Harsh, hard, and real. In the meantime my body was sitting in the grassy meadow, a numb, dead body, kept alive with sheer willpower, not enough energy to even be aware of the fact that I was just sitting there. Sure, I was not aware of my body, but I was exceedingly aware of the idea that all these people were aware of my body. I mean it felt like they had taken possession of my body and I was very ashamed of that. Sure, I thought: when have I ever given these people my consent to take possession of my body? I also thought: I'm far off, completely gone, I'm not of this world anymore now, all these people surrounding me are gonna notice that for sure, I mean how could they not notice, I'm too far gone, I can't even check it, my sight is too blurry, I can't see straight, on top of that my whole existence is rollercoasting all the time. Energy makes it easy to uphold a very refined feeling like shame, but that's what I was missing. I thought, and still think, surely these people get some energy out of parents, or family, or friends, maybe lovers, it must be easy, but if you have to squeeze the energy out of yourself, oddly enough you don't know where you can get it. It's interesting to make fun of that, it's also interesting that the people that make fun of that might experience the same problem and chances are it will hit them harder than they expect. The effect of drugs can vary depending on two main variables, the body is, like I explained, connected to the bodies of the surrounding crowd (or people), and the effect on the mind is good or bad depending on general life circumstances, family and stuff, if you're happy or not, first part of my comment. Drugs amplify how you feel, it increases good feelings and bad feelings. I had existential, deep thoughts at the time, and I never thought I would come out of it with a sound mind, when I was in the trip I thought there was absolutely zero possibility of ever getting my mind out of that box, like I said, I wasn't functioning, I was like furniture basically, and that really scared me to death, I will never forget that. When the last band was done playing, it was raining, so we headed to the train station to take the train and have a sleepover at a friends' house. My head was turning, I was afraid to fall down, my identity was lost, keep breathing friend, stay on your feet, you're almost there, you can make it... There was actually a real human, I mean a real humane person that helped me, that made me feel like I was real and alive, she took me by my arm like a nurse would take an elderly person by the arm in a retirement centre. I wouldn't have been able to make it to the train station by myself anyway, even though a lot of people were heading in that direction, not everyone was. I mean you could say, just follow them... euh, no. My body felt like a body of a drunk person but in a body of a person that's too weak to keep up with that, if that makes any sense. I didn't fall down thanks to this girl, I will be forever grateful for that. I was trying my best to appear like a normal person more or less. On a few occasions in my life I nearly died, this is one of them. That's the story, thank you for sharing. God bless you.