I wish to express my appreciation for those of you who take the time to read my story. Anyone wishing to become involved, to get to know me better or help me through this injustice: I'm looking forward to hearing from you via daryl.wheatfall@hotmail.com or Polunsky #999020/Mr.Daryl Wheatfall/3872 FM 350 South/Livingston TX 77351/USA.
02-06-2010
Moving problems
This situation I've been dealing with occupies a lot of my time & energy, so is this article, and my knee is acting up on top of all this, which prevents me from doing anything. I was given back my level 1. On May 6th it wasn't given back and I wasn't moved until the 12th! I don't know why these people find new ways to create frustration within me. For 6 days all of my property was packed up waiting to be moved. I was given back all the things level 2 prisoners are not allowed to have: allowed to go to commissary to buy everything level 1 prisoners are able to buy while housed on F-pod. I was moved to F-pod on April 20th but that's another story...
I made up my mind on the night of the 5th to find out why I wasn't moved like other inmates who received their level 1. While returning from rec I refused to walk back to my cage demanding to speak with some rank. After explaining the situation, I was told he would go and discover why. The next day I was moved back to B-pod. No, I never found out why. I was faced with another problem: I'm right back in the same situation which created my problem in the first place. Yes, I'm made to go out to rec first & last. They were going to move me inside cage 40 but I refused because whenever it rained water ran into the cage. I didn't want my property to be damaged by water. The only other cage open on the section was 30, which happened to place me back in the same position. It's not just this, because prison officials knew something was wrong with that cage. These people are nothing more than a big goddamn distraction! For 6 days I couldn't address my affairs because all of my property was packed up. I'm trying to finish my article while trying to reorganize my life, because from February to May there wasn't any order in my life whatsoever. Every day it seemed I was faced with some new dilemma.
Once I got my property back, so much had been taken/missing/stolen! Whenever I deal with these people they make it clear my personal property & my life is meaningless, it means nothing to them! I have to ask myself: what does all of this mean to me? why endure all of this bullshit? why should I care about my abusers?
For over a month now, workers have been getting the building ready for cameras, cameras are going to be placed on every pod, just like A-pod & the section I was housed on have cameras. It's going to be a lot of bullshit once these cameras have been placed everywhere because the guards will be aware they're under the watchful eye of Big Brother & be trying to enforce every little rule they can. There won't be any mor sitting around or going to sleep inside the picket. No one, neither guard nor prisoner, is going to like these cameras. The state is putting them up to watch their guards to prevent them from bringing in stuff.
I hope all of this madness will soon be out of the way & I'll be able to focus on my life & not this prison madness. I'll be finished with this article soon. Everything that has happened to me from then to now will be inside this newsletter so all the holes of what happened will be filled in...
This is the reaction from the Office of the Ombudsman after a letter of complaint was sent to them:
"All offenders have access to the Offender Grievance Process to present written concerns related to their classification, personal property, disciplinary status, or other confinement issues within the agency's control. Records reveal that Offender Wheatfall has addressed each of the issues you mentioned through the grievance process. The Polunsky Unit Mailroom staff are following agency policy in regards to processing incoming and outgoing mail. The Agency cannot vertfy the length of time the letters take to arrive at your destination overseas. In response to the disciplinary concerns, demotions in status, destroyed mattress, and sleeping on the floor. Details of disciplinary cases are considered confidential information and cannot be shared with the public. Offender resolved these issues through the Offender Grievance Process. The denial of Offender Wheatfall's book was also addressed throught the Offender Grievance Process.The book was originally denied due to its content. The Director's Review Committee instructed the Polunsky Unit Mailroom to confiscate the book for being altered. The unit commissary follows a strict schedule to ensure all death row offenders arre given the opportunity to use that privilege if they are eligible. The schedule allows for a spending period every 14 days as required. Offender Wheatfall is receiving the privileges afforded to his custody level."
I'm so psychologically exhausted & unorganized right now. This is due to how prison officials have been addressing things on this end. All of this has caused a major distraction & disruption with all I'm trying to do. May 7th I was given back my level 1. I packed up my property, thinking I would be moved to a level 1 pod, but I haven't. I'm still on F-pod. Why? I don't have a clue. This is preventing me from focusing on what I need to be doing with all of my property packed up.
I'm working on this new article but I'm dealing with a lot of distractions. I have to battle to go to commissary, to get my rec, guards knocking on my cage door every 30 minutes, disrupting my sleep! You wouldn't believe what I'm being made to put up with. I'm so stressed out it's robbing me of my energy & giving me bad headaches. I'm only able to buy #22 stamps, this causes a problem from being able to address my mail. This is very frustrating to go along with everything else. So this newsletter is taking longer than I planned. I was moved April 24, I was on A-pod. I'm tired. Moving from one cage to another took a lot of energy out of me - I had gone to rec before I was informed I would be moving; while outside I ran & worked out, afterward I came in to rest they woke me up to tell me I was moving; I'll be a level one in 12 or 13 days so I should be able to put up with living on this pod.
Every time I step one foot outside my cage door there are two cameras watching every move I make. This section is treated special because it's the only one with cameras on the run, by the end of the next 6 months other pods will have cameras on the run. All through the night the guards are knocking on the cage door checking to see if I'm alive! This is only because they're being watched. Now that I'm no longer on cage restriction the major is saying no one is allowed inside the dayroom on this section. The 2 other prisoners are on outside only restriction, which means they're not allowed to rec inside the dayroom. I'm not on any kind of restriction, if they try to force me to go outside when it's my dayroom time, I see myself protesting against this. I'm not going to allow unit officials to violate their rules while enforcing rules, to deny me is a violation when I'm not on any kind of restriction - if I was being housed on any other section, I would be placed inside the dayroom on the section I'm being housed on... Right now I'm working on a new InCaged article called "Official Abuse of Authority". You're going to find it very interesting. I've had a good interview with the guy surrounding the cell phones, the guy who stabbed two guards I've his story, & I'm organizing all the other information to the order I want it. It will soon be coming!
I'm one man, one man trying to deal with a lot: unit officials, guards, prisoners, my lawyer, staying focused with my case, organizing a book, newsletter, a few new pen pals I'm trying to educate & involve in this campaign to save my life. I'm under so much but I'm expected to function as if I'm living a normal life, but I'm not. I live inside a cage, I'm struggling to remain normal under the condition I'm forced to live under.
I just finished writing a story on a prisoner who stabbed 2 guards during a major use of force Feb.25, 2010. I'm also planning to put together a new InCaged article on abuse ofauthority. I'm trying to get everything done, things seem to be jumping out of nowhere demanding my time & attention.
My focus is upon the bullshit going on in my life. Several cases were written against me during my protest against the disciplinary case written against me that had me dropped to level 3. I'm a level 2 now. Nonetheless, I was placed on commissary restriction for these cases, a total 67 days. This means I'm only allowed to buy $20 in postage stamps and $10 hygiene. I'm only allowed to do this every 30 days, only allowed to buy 30 stamps - which are quickly gone. So I'm unable to communicate with the outside world without postage stamps. I've shared my grievances written against the commissary department by me & other inmates I've encouraged to write for the abuse of authority committed by the commissary department - making us prisoners go 21-23 days before being allowed to make commissary again.
Did I tell you cameras are at the end of the run on both sides? Any time I step out of this cage a video camera is watching me. The guy who was involved in the case of the smuggled cell phones is housed just a few doors away - he was the only one on this section, now there's me & the guy who stabbed the 2 guards. This section is bad, but it's really peaceful, I'm able to focus on addressing what need to be addressed without any distraction. Soon I'll be off cell restriction, will be able to get out and exercise. I'll go on fighting for a better life...
2010 has not begun to shine brightly down on me. The hunger strike is over. I officially ended it on February 23. I was deeply concerned about all I was doing to my body. I work so hard to develop and take good care of my body & mind that I don't want to slowly destoy it. All things happen for a reason, I truly learned a lot about the development of my mind & body and I could have endured weeks more if I had to.
I'm not on F-pod anymore. I'm now housed on A-pod, on a section with the cell-phone guy, someone many death row prisoners & some guards would kill if they had the chance. This fool cost me all kinds of stress. I didn't have anything to say to him, I feel he's just a sad pathetic ass liar! Why talk to this fool? The thinking man in me took over - with what's happening to me & all the many updates I've written I see a beautiful story for you. I'm next to death watch & I know just about everyone expecting to be killed in the coming months. I think my next InCaged article could share some insightful information with the people wishing to understand how one gets ready to die.
Like I said, things happen for a reason. Do I like what happens to me? Hell no! I like the spirit that runs inside of me & how it helps to deal with adversity, but battling adversity every day isn't something I wish to do...
The warden's right to rule (by an inmate of Polunsky Unit)
texas death row (the wardens right to rule) when the wardens decide to challenge the courts prisoners pay the cost
the relationship between guards and prisoners is hopelessly hostile, shaped and maintained through conflict. rules are clearlydefined, but never stable. the controlling force of guards is constantly met by resistance: sometimes mildly, sometimes explosively, but never ending.
prisoners want, and fight for, better conditions, fairer treatment. guards want, and try to enforce, complete control. they want rollbacks of all gains made by prisoners. gains painfully won and always long in coming. the last meaningful gains were more than thirty years ago in the landmark ruling of ruiz vs. estelle. sadly, though, most of those have since been taken back. only bare-bones remain where rights are concerned. among them is the court-ordered right to a prescribed minimum time to recreation, a measly two hours a day, five days a week. (even that is often denied, and has sparked much conflict.)
the two perspectives are clear. from the prisoners point-of-view we are being denied a lawful right. the warden is refusing to comply with court orders. but this is obviously not his take on the matter, no doubt.
as head of the plantation, to him, it is about his right to govern as he sees fit. much like state governors, especially in the south, who proclaim and attempt to assert perceived state rights over federal mandates.
but unlike governors who, despite all of their political grandstanding, hardly ever get their way, the wardens are hardly ever stopped. when they decide to challenge the courts the prisoners pay the cost.
wardens can be, and often are, the orval faubuses and eugene bull conners* of today. warden lester, the death row warden at polunsky unit, certainly is.
a problem with recreation has been on-going for approximately two months now in a particular pod (b) of a particular building (12) that houses death row. at the end of the day - most days - there remain several "stuck out recs (guys who did not get to go on their scheduled day), and theres no reason for it. the guards just do not care to get it done, and the warden doesnt insist that they do. it is from these two concrete facts that i surmise that the warden doesnt give a hoot about any court mandate.
the boiling point
all of the prisoners have complained at least verbally, many have filed grievances. and others have caused minor disturbances by carrying out passive acts of disobedience: standing on the tier and refusing to move, commandeering the food slot* and not letting the guard close it after serving a meal, and refusing to come out of the dayroom after ones rec time has expired.
this, before the violence, we prisoners call the simmering phase. the boiling point is the violence. but one never knows when its coming, exactly. one just knows that its near, soon to happen, and unavoidable.
february 8, 2010, about twenty minutes before midnight, the inevitable came. inmate taichiri preyor saw them first and like paul revere gave the warning, theyre coming!
from my vantage point i could not see them, but soon heard the familiar cadent rnarch of the special troopers: stepping lightly with the right foot and stomping hard with the left, in lockstep.
my second tier cell gave me a birds eye view. they came around the bend, clock...clock...clock...clock, moving like a black centipede. black helmets. black gloves. black vests. black shin guards. black elbow pads. the extended left hand of each trooper held the left shoulder of the man proceeding him with a relaxed grip, enabling fluid, worm-like movement.
they winded their way this way and that, up the stairs and three doors down to my right. inmate daryl wheatfall, number 999020, had been the most vocal, most engaging about his recreation.
sergeant mooring, the head man in charge, with a camcorder trained on him, knocked hard on wheatfalls cell door and waited for a response that did not come. talking was over for wheatfall. for both sides, actually. the warning barked out by the sergeant was just a formality. offender! submit to a strip search and application of hand restraints and exit the cell or chemical agents and/or a five man team will be utilized.
still no answer.
more knocks. harder. louder. nothing. the sergeant donned his gas mask and shook the canister as one would a can of paint. arid just before he administered the first dosage, a voice called out, up top!
it was clinton young warning wheatfall on what location the gas would be coming from. he was no friend of wheatfalls. in fact, they have a hatfield/mcCoy relationship. but the guards were wrong. wheatfall had done all that he could: begged, pleaded, reasoned, and, yes, even some swearing, he filed grievances through the proper channels and talked to every ranking officer that would give him the time of day. but to them, if you let them tell it, he was just whining. it never occurred to them that every prisoner is different. some, like wheatfall, look forward to their recreation. they look forward to working up a sweat to relieve tension. some guys never go out. they sleep around the clock, almost.
the guards are irked when he, as they put it, whine about his rec. and they become outright reactionary when he argues that it is court-ordered. so they take something else thats court-ordered, like his shower or a meal, as if to say, "now tell that to the judge.
well, maybe the good judge will be interested in seeing wheatfall being gassed excessively for over thirty minutes and five canisters of gas used. in seeing a prisoner totally hulled out after being roughed up by the special unit. discombobulated and walking whobbly. eyes closed, swollen, running literally blinded. long ropey strings of goo hanging from his nose as he hawks, spits, and labors to breathe. in seeing just how when the wardens decide to challenge the courts prisoners pay the cost.
---foot notes--- *orval faubus and eugene bull conners: orval faubus was the governor of arkansas who, in defiance of the supreme court, warned that blood will run in the streets if black students tried to integrate white schools.
*eugene bull conners, in defense of southern segregation, instigated mob attacks on northern students, known as freedom riders, who rode buses south through alabama following a supreme court ruling outlawing segregation on interstate buses. bull conners was the public safety commissioner.
*food slot: a five inch by fifteen inch opening cut into the cell door, through which food trays are served, attached to it is a hinged metal flap with a locking mechanism.
On Feb.5th I was written an unjust disciplinary case by an Officer Skinner, who denied me my rec, shower & breakfast. Ranking officials refused to investigate the circumstances on what created the problem allowing Officer Skinner to lie in a disciplinary case as an attack upon me for requesting to speak with a sergeant. On Feb.9th I was gassed, moved to F-pod cage 76, made to sleep on the floor wearing nothing! - this injustice & abuse of authority began the protest & hunger strike...
Since: on Feb.18th 2010 I was informed Major Smith wished to speak with me. As I walked toward Smith's office, Lieutenant Duff, who has been investigating the circumstances, asked the escorting officers to allow him to speak with me inside his office. I sat patiently, as Duff looked through his papers. Finally he said: "Daryl Wheatfall, I don't give a fuck about you, but I do care about the truth. I believe you're telling the truth." Even the supporting words of Duff aren't enough when he's not the head man running the show. Speaking with Major Smith, nothing was accomplished from our discussion.
Smith wanted to know why I was on hunger strike. I pointed out there's too much procedural abuse allowed to go on by guards & ranking officers - guards create the problem by violating procedures. This causes a prisoner to react to what the guard has done. Now the prisoner's reaction becomes the problem. When the sergeant arrives, he won't acknowledge what created the problem - he'll only recognize the prisoner's actions.
The guard's actions never matter. only the actions of the prisoner. The guard writes the disciplinary case against the prisoner, who'll be punished behind a lie & a problem created by the guard. After explaining this to Major Smith, in Smith's opinion it's the prisoner's word against his officer's word. Why would a prisoner create a problem when he hasn't been disruptive, hasn't received a disciplinary case going on two years, Major Smith?...
Smith stated: "It doesn't matter that a prisoner hasn't received a case in two years, at any time a prisoner's behavior may change". Both Captain Stanger & Lieutenant Duff listened, saying nothing, observing the discussion. The major seemed more interested in my hunger strike moreso than acknowledging the truth surrounding the guard's violating procedure. Smith made it clear his guards were doing as he instructed them to do so. "Wait, give me time to look off this, Wheatfall..."
At that moment the words of a great man, Martin Luther King, rang out inside my head: "I've never yet engaged in a direct action movement that was wll timed according to the timetable of those who have not suffered unduly from the disease of segregation for years, now I've heard the word 'wait' ".
Before leaving, I made my intentions clear to Major Smith. I would not continue accepting procedural abuse, not when I'm following procedures as policy instructs me to do so, i.e. offenders should always try to solve their problems with staff first, if the incident cannot be resolved, offenders are to request the supervising officer. If the supervising officer cannot resolve informally, offenders are to submit grievance...
These steps were taken when trying to get my rec ever before the Feb.5th incident ever took place. Something made clear to Smith, who was supporting his guards' actions, they were only doing what he told them to do. I made it clear, no matter the cost or how much I had to suffer, my non-violent protest would continue.
Since: Feb.9th 2010, the morning in which I was gassed & removed by a five-man extraction team, thrown into a dark cage for 3 days with nothing on, no shower for 3 days. I was taken to disciplinary, a.k.a. Kangaroo Court, on Feb.11th found guilty. Afterward I refused to walk back to the cage I was housed in; coming from the shower I sat down on the run, jacked the handcuffs refusing to return them, once the team arrived the cuffs were returned. The day I left Major Smith's office I sat in the hallway refusing to walk under my own power. A statement to this administration, I refused to be abused by guards violating procedure - this protest was to generate attention to the problem. I ask you to support me. Order "The Psychological Affect of Life", the newest InCaged issue. This issue explains how prison officials are abusing their authority where I was punished over a mattress I wasn't responsible for destroying.
My level would be dropped, a loss of all privileges, I was made to sleep on the floor 8 days, typewriter & radio taken away, questioning ownership for things I paid for. Made to endure 90 days on level 2, denied the privilege to go to commissary & rec privileges taken away, confined inside a cage 24 hours a day. To make matters worse, as if things could not get any worse, $26.13 was removed from my inmate account for a mattress I did not damage!
The grievance written against this injustice proved I wasn't guilty of destroying state property as the disciplinary case written against me claims I did. This incident exposes the abuse myself & other prisoners are subjective to through non-objective bias/prejudice by ranking officials who ignore the facts.
Please take time to learn about what's going on by reading "The Psychological Affect of Life". It shares an insight of the injustice taking place behind these walls of Polunsky Unit, home for death row prisoners. Your support will allow InCaged to help many learn how prison officials on the Polunsky Unit are supporting officers who create problems once an inmate reacts angrily/disrupted, disturbed over the guard(s)' actions - he'll be punished! As a form of punishment officials are now embellishing fictional violation to take away prisoners' personal property: typewriter, radio, hotpot, fan, multi-outlet, etc. My typewriter was taken in 2008 questioning proof of ownership, when I went to look where I kept my property slip for my typewriter, it was gone!...
Now the Property Officer, Ms. Smith, has taken away my multi-outlet questioning ownership & when I went to get my ownership paper, it was gone! Here's a fact: in October 2008 my property was taken away, everything I owned. My typewriter & radio confiscated under proof of ownership - yet my multi-outlet wasn't taken. Now, 2 yeras later, it's confiscated under proof of ownership! Doesn't this explain why guards are allowed to create problems against prisoners?
Abuse of authority is clearly revealed inside these actions: guards & ranking officials are abusing their positions; just as police officers & city officials did in 1963 in Birmingham, Alabama, in a march led by Martin Luther King Jr.: police officers used high power water hoses, billy clubs & guard dogs were released upon innocent children. Here, on Polunsky Unit, deliberate problems are created where prisoners' property is stolen once inside the Property Room. Ownership papers are taken, prisoners are prevented from showing ownership, either the property is sent home or lost to the state under policy violation.
I would like to challenge the anti-death penalty communities (TCADP, TDPM, CEDP, LHP, CTJ Alive, PRC, to mention just a few): I ask you to seek the truth - through the many death row prisoners those of you are exchanging letters with. Discover if their property was taken away from them, questioning ownership when attempting to show ownership papers - it was missing.
I have been on hunger strike for 13 days since Feb.9th until the 21st today, I've not eaten. Prison officials refused to acknowledge my hunger strike the first 6 days. Officials began to record my strike Feb.14th, all my personal envelopes were taken, preventing me from communicating with the outside world...
I'm asking you to become involved now! Help shine the light of truth on the corruption taking place behind these walls of the Polunsky Unit. Share this information, encourage others to join in a struggle for justice!
"We know through painful experience that freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed"...Encouraging words by Martin Luther King Jr. pushing me forward as I continue this hunger strike seeking to shine a light to what's taking place behind these wall on the Polunsky Unit - home to death row, As the hunger strike continues, so will an updat sharing details with what's going on. In the struggle...
To order "The Psychological Affect of Life" send an e-mail to daryl.wheatfall@hotmail or via this blog! A donation, any amount is also very welcome.
"How do I begin?" a voice inside my head asks. 2010 was supposed to be our year of success. Marjan's book is doing wonderfully! Thanks to her book so many now see the ugly picture of the death penalty & life on death row. We've hired investigator Richard Reyna to investigate my case, this was done from the support given by the many of you who bought Marjan's book. Thank you, for believing in us... It's a beautiful way to start off the year. Special thanks go to the handful of you who reached out, seeking to become involved in my life, to hold a friendship - to become a family. No need for names. You know who you all are. This open letter is to inform those involved in my life I'm now a level-3 on hunger strike, being housed on F-pod cage 76 over a guard refusing to give me my daily 2 hours rec...I've been made to sleep on the floor for 3 days wearing nothing, from Feb.9th 2010 until the 12th I didn't have anything to cover my body! Yes, the floor was very hard & uncomfortable, after the first night my mind accepted my reality, this allowed me to deal with my conditions as best as possible. Since this incident happened, I've refused to eat. I can't continue trying to work with ranking officials & guards who aren't responsible for their action that causes/creates a reaction by prisoners who are only trying to do their time. It's day 3, haven't eaten anything! Not planning to do so for a while - Why? My suffering may generate interest for the many of you to ask questions to seek to understand the abuse of power by unit administration & guards... No, I don't know how long I'll be able to sustain my hunger strike, I'm light-headed & weak as I write. "Let me not be misunderstood, strength does not come from physical capacity;it comes from an indomitable will", words of Mahatma Gandhi...Yes, I'm concerned about my health & what this act will do to those concerned for me. None of us asked for this, nonetheless we must accept this challenge & hard work that comes with this struggle - we have to let our voices be heard, letting prison officials know the people are watching & will not accept policy violation & procedure abuse! This is why I'm willing to suffer, fight, to slow down the injustice taking place behind these walls of the Polunsky Unit!
What happened? On Feb.5th 2010 I was forced to place my foot into the food slot preventing the guard from closing the slot. Rec is controlled by first shift, many guards look for ways of how not to do their jobs. From 6:55/7:00 o'clock in the morning is when the first prisoner is being pulled out for rec - but the guards arrive at 6 a.m. The first round will be left in the dayrooms & yards for 2 & half hours, placed back into their cages 9:45/10:00 o'clock...
Everyone was racked up, no one was placed out until 3 hours later. Ranking officials informed guards to rack up everyone to feed, this act caused a delay in allowing all 84 inmates their 2 hours a day recreation. A problem I've been made to endure since October 23rd 2009. This forced me to write a grievance against first shift officers for failure to follow the rec scheduling order. My reply stated: "The recreation schedule is a guide, not a requirement. The schedule is followed when possible; deviation is not a violation." This reply only states officers are allowed to do whatever they wish. The answer I received on my step 2 grievance stated: "Your step 2 grievance has been investigated. Recreation is provided per policy & as security issues permit. Administration is aware of your complaint & will continue to monitor recreation access"... This grievance states recreation is being provided to me per policy - if so I should not be made to jack a food slot on Feb.5th 2010, trying to get my rec!
On the day, Feb.5th 2010 shift changed, Officers Skinner, Ramirez & James came on, they only had to finish feeding 4 sections & 1 1/2 rounds of rec to be put out. From 6 p.m. to 6:35 all 3 guards were just sitting inside the picket talking. From 6:35 Skinner & Ramirez finished feeding. I asked Skinner what dayroom I was going to as she passed out trays - "You're not, I'm only doing one round". "Let me speak with some rank" - my question was totally ignored. As trays were being picked up I jacked the slot & requested to speak with some rank - Skinner: "Fine! Keep the damn slot, nobody will rec nor shower because of you!" From 7:13 until 8:10 no rank was called & no work was done.
When Sgt. MIller showed up, he wouldn't listen, only repeating what Skinner said giving up the slot. After the Sgt. left I asked Skinner about my shower. Skinner stated I would receive my shower once the others had received theirs. I never received a shower, when I asked Officer Ramirez he stated I was disrespectful to Skinner, Skinner's reason for not showering me. At breakfast time I was denied my breakfast & given a food loaf ...I was never disrespectful to Skinner! Feb.6th I spoke with the Lt.Charlie. She supported the act committed by Skinner. At 6:45 on Feb.8th I was told I would be moving to F-pod cage 63. I refused to move. I would be gassed & thrown into cage 76 without anything to wear..
Please read through these errors, the lack of food is affecting my focus - I'm very weak. This is day #6 of my hunger strike, I'm sleeping all day, I've to force myself to get up & move around.
Today Feb.19th 2010 I sit down on the floor & demand to speak with some rank. Unit officials refuse to acknowledge my hunger strike. For 6 days no records have been kept nor have I been seen by the Medical Department. After explaining this to Sgt.William I am taken to be checked by Nurse Dunagun. I weigh 18.3, my blood pressure 177 over 108, it's high! After checking me over, this unit still isn't acknowledging my hunger strike!
February 8 was not a good day for me. I was taken down to level three. They used force on me and gassed me for over thirty minutes. I'll tell you more about it later...
On December 13 the medication I was taking to prevent my knee from swelling up, Meloxicam, ran out. Before running out I sent in a request informing a Dr. Zond to renew this medication, this was in November on the 16th & 28th. The first one ignored, I was forced to write another one: "Dr. Zond, again I'm writing to inform you that the Meloxicam order has run out. The amount given wasn't enough, I sent you an I/60 informing you of this matter, explaining that the pain I was experiencing with my knees caused me to take 1 tablet twice a day & that the tablets would not last for 30 days. Without the medication my knees swell up, I'm in constant pain, I'm requesting the tablets to be increased to 15mg, that the order be refilled before 12/13/09 as of today 11/28/09 I'm out. Would appreciate you for addressing this matter. Thank you." Here's the reply: "Meloxicam is current until 12/13/09, you may also take Tylenal from pod boss to polentiate the pain." As of today I still haven't seen this Dr. Zond nor has my request sent to the medical department been acknowledged. Yes! as I sit here typing I'm in pain, stress I'm made to endure. It affects my attitude, how I think & feel - this is translated onto the pages of my letters, it's this part of the struggle that is difficult to grasp for those on the outside staring in... On Christmas Day nothing seemed special - not to me. I see it as just another day, I don't expect anything from my family. I don't feel a part of any family. I feel dead. I don't expect anything from the people living in Houston claiming to be my family, to letter to wish me "Happy Birthday", "Merry Christmas" or just to say "Hi, how are you doing?". Each day a part of me dies & at times life just doesn't feel worth fighting for. If only you knew the madness of this hell I'm living in...
Two prisoners escaped from prison in the past weeks in Texas. Every time something like this happens, security gets tighter on death row, which is seen as the worst of the worst, Anything & everything is used as an excuse to justify their scrutiny over inmates' mail. Hate is the real reason, so this problem isn't going to go away. It's Christmas time, a time when family members get together & enjoy one another's company & remember the birth of the baby Jesus. It's not something my family do - so I don't expect anything to change just because I'm on death row. So I'm not in the Christmas spirit. I wish I was... Prison officials are deliberately going out of their way to create problems. They're going into everyone's cages searching through them when rec is run. One round is run from 7 to 9, then everyone is placed back into their cages to feed lunch, which takes 3 hours. The officials are being forced to do it this way, now because of this prisoners are placed into the dayroom to rec at 10:30 at night, placed into the shower at 11:30-12:00 at night. All of this is disrupting prisoners' lives. These people are going door to door searching for any little problem they see wrong inside a prisoner's cage. If he has a photo on the wall or his light covered, he's written a case. The light is too bright! And a family photo on the wall isn't a major problem, yet this is what is trying to be enforced. Why? Surely for some political ambition by one of these ranking officials - this is what these acts are all about...
My lawyer says a brain scan is necessary. Yet, he should be pushing the prosecutor to address my Habeas Corpus Writ. This writ is to release from unlawful imprisonment. The office of the writ is not to determine a person's guilt or innocence - only issue which is restrained of his liberty by due process. The writ only permits a prisoner to challenge a state conviction on constitutional grounds that is related to the jurisdiction of the state court. If I have the same constitutional errors in my case, errors that have already been overturned in other inmates' cases & these inmates were given new trials - this brain scan information can only be used during the punishment stage. Any information discovered by this brain scan cannot be used during a new trial - unless it's for the punishment stage only. My lawyer is only focusing on overturning my case during the punishment stage only. He wants to use this brain scan to present it to the court & say something is wrong with my brain & that my first lawyer should have discovered this doing my trial. This means if I get a new trial this information can be used during the punishment stage & nothing else so his intention is very clear - he isn't trying to help me! I do not enjoy having to sit here without an attorney, who isn't working with me keeping me updated with what's going on with my case. Someone who isn't concerned with protecting my rights, who refuses to answer my letters, who isn't involved in my life whatsoever. This doesn't make me happy...
On September 28, 2009 this pod I'm living on was searched. No one knew. Guards came in a little after 6 a.m. We were allowed to leave all property inside these cages, a whole row of prisoners were placed inside different showers while the guards went through the property. While inside the shower many showered. The guards were trying to finish as quickly as possible. Nothing was removed from my cage, it took a while to organize everything back where I had it. I was pleased that it ws over & I could focus my attention on other matters. On the 29th oatmeal was placed inside everyone's breakfast bags. Once prisoners started kicking on their cage doors hollaing & demanding to spaek with some rank! The guards didn't know what to do. They couldn't believe only dry oatmeal & coffee cake was inside everyone's bags. The guards were told that brown sugar was placed inside the oatmeal, all we had to do was add water. There wasn't any sugar inside the oatmeal - they lied. Anyway, officials opened the unit October 1. We're off lockdown. For how long? Your guess is as good as mine... This is the madness going on inside my life.
The word is that video cameras are being set up to watch over the guards. Why? It's due to an inmate who used a cell phone to threaten a senator some time ago. Now this inmate has talked the prison minister into taking his mail out to his people without it going through the mailroom to be checked first. The inmate exposed this minister by having these letters mailed to the senator threatening him inside these letters. Can you believe this? Letters were also placed onto the internet farther exposing this minister, this got him fired. This is what precipitated video cameras being placed throughout the building where daeth row is being housed. Of course, the guards don't like this. This inmate has disrupted the comfort zone of everyone living & working inside this building, this act has filled many with disdain against this inmate, who's being housed on a section by himself for his protection. With cameras on the runs, inside the control pickets, in the halls, this will cause the guards to be more professional all the time since they're being watched. I was told, if a guard is caught passing something for a prisoner they'll be fired, just like the minister was. A few guards have said once cameras are put in, they'll find another job. Many believe that this inmate's informing on the corruption going on behind these walls to make some kind of deal to get his mom & sister out of prison. Both were charged with a crime for paying for his cell phone minutes. Now prison officials are reading through our mail more thoroughly. Why are they focusing on our mail when it was the minister who took the inmate's letters out?
I'm still trying to develop my projects while trying to write my second book. I want to have copies of my book made up, but haven't been able to save enough money to do this due to how these people are running commissary. The book could produce some kind of funds but isn't being given an opportunity. I'm so sick of being made to suffer, unable to fight back! Things will only get worse here & this will affect me. Polunsky Unit is now on lock down, as of September 17...
Let me tell you something about my typewriter. Prison administration officials do business with outside companies. These companies bid against each other to win a contract from TDCJ. TDCJ officials always go for the cheapest. Most of these typewriters aren't sold in the free world. Also, there is no repair department once a typewriter, radio, coffee pot or fan breaks down. If the prisoner is unable to fix it, he has to buy a new one. Most of everything sold out of commissary comes with some kind of defect. Commissary personnel are telling inmates that after 3o days if one of the typewriters breaks, they don't have to replace it. In reality, it's 60 days but most inmates arren't aware of this, trusting what commissary personnel say is the truth. So when one of these typewriters breaks down, the prisoner believes he can't get his money so he gets a new one or goes without. A lot of prisoners with outside support do a lot of writing, it's convenient for a prisoner to use a typewriter.
This place demands so much of me. I'm emotionally affected, distracted, frustrated & angry. Being robbed of my life, denied my rights, no longer able to care for myself because this right has been taken away. All of this makes me feel totally powerless & deeply lonely. No one can ever be taught to endure this kind of life. I haven't anyone to reach out to, to comfort me inside this cage. I'm made to deal with these disturbing issues as best as I'm able to. This keeps me frustrated. Recently I received a form denying me one of the two books somebody had ordered for me. Reason? Claiming the book contained explicit images. I appealed this denial because they use the rules just to deny us prisoners. 19 days later, they returned with a different form denying the same book for a different reason! The new form I was given is only used when someone has sent me something from their home. This publication is denied 'due to being altered'. So they're now saying someone personally sent me the book and they're saying the book is altered! Someone inside the mailroom department took a marker & marked out the images that were supposed to be reviewed. The book couldn't be reviewed for sexually explicit images by a department that's on another unit, so they sent the book back. The people on this unit are claiming someone at the book store altered the book. This is to protect whoever did it. It's clear these people are going out of their way to cause stress & confusion in my life. This explains why my mail is manipulated & denied any chance these people get. I'm still waiting to see if they are going to allow me to have the book. But I'm going to write them up for damaging my book! I believe these people are trying to provoke me into assaulting a guard, committing a crime that will allow the prosecutor to charge me on a crime that will keep me in prison for the rest of my life. I don't expect anything from these people because I know they only see me as an animal. This is one of the reasons why I want an attorney who'll protect me from these people's abuse...
Disturbed is how I begin this blog. Failure is just an act of not achieving a goal, it seems this is all I'm doing! My cards, T-shirts, book, newsletters, blog & those I've attempted to establish correspondence with...all this has ended in failure. I can't hire an attorney with money donated to hire a lawyer & this is sad. This makes me feel like a little kid who fails trying to learn how to ride his bicycle, by falling & hurting his knee. Limping into the house mad, swearing never to attempt to ride his bicycle again. Soaking in emotional despair of failure, discouragement & anger consumes the child's mind. To help overcome, parents become the voice of encouragement, with words providing motivation helping this child remove his fear of hurting himself again. By believing he'll have success the next time he attempts to ride his bicycle. A child always fells safe & confident knowing his mom has a strong grip upon his bicycle rolling down the street laughing, big smile on his face enjoying riding his bicycle consumed by joy never realizing his mom has let go... To allow a child to feel safe, his mind possessed with the confidence that he can do it, the voice of encouragement has always come from parents.
Did you know I'm getting one or two letters a month? It's not just not having any involvement here in Texas, prison officials have destroyed most of my friendships assuring that I don't receive words of encouragement. Now you understand why I pour my energy into my projects, desperately trying to do what I can to help myself. I know there isn't anyone here in texas I'm able to depend on. The projects are designed to create help, just as this blog is supposed to. Yet, I don't see any positive result!
I'm battling too many emotions just dealing with this life I'm living. It's so discouraging thinking about all these years of attempting to develop an audience to support InCaged, yet I haven't developed anything. If only I had dependable people involved in my life...But all I'm receiving from living inside this environment is discouragement, a psychological abuse. This only adds to failure; with failure comes an emotional assault as well, low self-esteem. The joy that grows from success doesn't exist from failure & this is only one of my problems, but this problem should explain why enthusiastic energy doesn't jump off the pages in some of my letters.
With issues like this where do I turn?
I'm not a guy who needs much but it's truly aggravating only having enough money to go to commissary one time. Prison officials have been manipulating how commissary is run. We are supposed to go every 14 days, yet we don't. We're only being allowed to go every 21 days. This means we're only going twice a month. Not only are we being denied the opportunity to buy stamps, most of the time commissary doesn't have everything I order. I end up running out to do this.
The point is: these people know how to control & manipulate the lives of prisoners, intentionally or not, this is what's being done. These things keep me frustrated because I'm asked to deal with so many situations without the needed help. Each time I take a step, like buying this typewriter, I'm pushed back 3. Typewriter breaking, having to pay someone to fix it & the emotional stress from having to deal with all of this.
I'm made to fight so much & I wonder why I haven't lost my mind. I am supposed to be insane, being forced to deal with so much adversity. I haven't had time to think about writing a letter to an attorney. Besides, I don't have any post stamps so the letter couldn't be mailed even if it was written. I started working on my book, but for the past few days I haven't been able to focus on it.
I'm learning that I shouldn't depend on one person because life comes with many disappointments...
