Things aren't going well for me on this end. I've been dropped to level two. For what? Well, by the way I view it, for no legitimate reason, by the way unit officials view it, for refusing to remove my foot from the food slot.
On August 1, 2012, a little after 5 o'clock, the guards were about to leave at 5:30. This is why they were rushing to pass out dinner trays. In doing so, food from one slot was spilled on top of food in another slot. Nonetheless, the guard just opened the food slot & handed me a tray where the main course was flooded with juice from food I do not eat. I told this to the guard but what I told him wasn't understood because he was focusing on leaving. "Why are you trying to force me to take a tray covered with food I do not eat?", I asked him, "just give me another tray." "They are all like that", he said. Two rays remained on the food carrier for the last two prisoners. "Wheatfall, once I leave from in front of this cage, I'm not coming back", he said when I put my foot in the food slot reqesting to speak with a ranking officer. The rank ordered the guard to give me another tray but allowed a disciplinary case against me. The guard could have done the same thing the sergeant had done, yet he didn't because he was more concerned with leaving & there just isn't enough fairness among ranking officials: guards are always right in officials' eyes, even when they create the problem.
Zero tolerance is what is being enforced. This means whatever a guard says you did, in the eyes of unit officials you did it, even when you did not. It's like bad people over the law: it's their side against the people, the people will always lose because bad people are in charge of everything.
A few days after the incident, I was able to speak with the guard who wrote the case: "Why did you try to force me to take a tray where the main course is covered with food I do not eat?" "Why didn't you tell me that the other day, Wheatfall?", Officer Castro stated. "I did, your only concerns were going home", I said, "you weren't listening to what was being said. Are you going to help me correct this problem?" "Wheatfall, it's too late, I will help you but I can't change what I said."
In Kangaroo Court I explained this to Captain Miller, who wasn't listening & wasn't concerned about the truth. The truth just didn't matter to him. I thought that was the whole reason I was going to court in the first place. I was found guilty, given 15 days cage & 30 days commissary restriction for being confined inside a cage, not because I had done anything wrong. I'm now expecting to be moved, my property to be confiscated, not sure how I'm going to react when this happens.
I told you about the reporter who visited me. I hope something good will come from the fact that her co-author is a chief of police. He is just helping her out researching the information she needs. I told her the truth surrounding my intention or anything I may share about my case so I'm not concerned about this, but anything can be used to create a lie. If everything is on the up & up with these two, I feel that he being a police officer will help me. I'll need a lot of help once this man discovers I'm telling the truth! His position will have a lot of influence with getting my case heard. This is the only thing I want. I don't know what's going to happen but I'm taking a chance & hoping for the best.
I should have someone else to inform the outside world with what's going on if I should be unable to write. I say this because I'm about to sit in the fire over this injustice forced upon me. I know I'll lose and only I will suffer and if  I don't fight for me, who will?
I'm being pulled in many directions. I've been trying to move forward with this book. Having my typewriter taken away will only slow me down. This isn't the only disruption & distraction. People are asking for my time & attention, like this reporter & her co-author. Both write & ask questions as they want me to provide a clear picture of my situation. These inmates keep calling me asking a lot of dumb questions or want something. I can't tell you how hard it is to stay focused. If it's not unit personnel delaying my mail or some kind of emotional drama dealing with people like my lawyer, investigator,...there's something demanding my attention preventing me from focusing on my book. As if writing the book isn't emotional enough, talking about the difficult events in my life.
You see, the abuse inflicted upon my mind by just re-living these events is destructive enough, not to mention all I'm forced to deal with each day I open my eyes!
The inmate I told you about died. This is just an escape from this madness. No matter what I do to avoid this madness, it somehow comes knocking at this cage door. I just want to know: where is the love?
Did you know the state just executed a mentally retarded guy the other night? The law doesn't mean anything to state officials. Those in control of the law enforce the law the way they wish, prison officials have this same concept.
I don't see how I can build up my support when I'm fighting with prison officials, my attorney, investigator & others as well as the battles I have with myself...being too angry, making bad decisions, not knowing something I should or just hating this life I'm living!
You don't know what it feels like to have no one to love because you're surrounded with loving people. This prevents you from knowing how these walls make me feel: like a drowning man holding onto a flotation life preserver in the middle of the ocean...

22-08-2012, 00:00 geschreven door Sunshine