We're three days from our birthday, we're turning 32 this year. In our imagination we were to commit suicide before we turned 30. We did, we failed and hence, we're two years past our due date.
Do you remember the smile on our mother's face when we told her we wanted to become a princess?
Do you remember our dreams? However inconsistent, however impossible to achieve all dreams at the same time, they were there.
We craved the normal life, we craved for success and fame, we wanted to make fortunes, and we wanted to be taken care of by a millionaire.
We wanted to be pretty, we wanted to be agile and strong, we wanted to be feminine, we wanted to be boys. We wanted to be everything, everything that seemed fun and enjoyable. Caring, loving, loved by the world, famous, worshipped, adored, and above all, not alone. We wanted the world to see how perfect we could be.
We're nothing of that sorts. We're lonely, disappointed in life and lost hope and direction. We're ugly, stupid, old and disgusting.
Our world is collapsing in on itself.
That's why, we need to talk.
We need to decide this time.
Once and for all.
Do we run away and leave it all behind
or do we fight, change our world and learn to live together?
As long is we keep blaming each other, we're never going to get out of this.
Gazing into mirrors as she threads through life adjusting the image in her head to reality Feeling so different from how she looks each confrontation is a dissapointment Hunted, chased, running, always running she doesn't even know why or what she's running from No escape, no resilience even no release from the constant pain the throbbing feeling inside like being eaten alive. "Get it out of me, kill it, kill it" She ought to be chasing rainbows the whole world got unbalanced and she's the only one noticing running from injustice hiding from cruelty and no matter where she runs always running into the arms of the wicked world again there's no such thing as fairytales there's no such thing as karma there's no happy endings everything is just a lie how is she supposed to live here? "Get it out of me, kill it, kill it"
Hold fast to dreams for if dreams die life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly hold fast to dreams for if dreams go life is a barren fied covered with snow langston hughes
Ik maak me klaar voor een reis waar ik de bestemming niet van ken alleen de zekerheid dat ik nooit meer terug kom en alles bekend achterlaat Ik reis weg van de wereld van alles wat ik ken een plek waar ik niet thuishoor en waar iedereen me haat
God neem me weg naar een plek hier ver vandaan klaar met leven moe gestreden beu te zien dat ieders leven erop vooruit gaat zodra ik verdwijn laat me sterven laat me verdwijnen laat de kelk aan mij voorbij gaan snap de zin niet noch de reden ik begrijp niet waarom ik moet zijn laat me gaan laat me creperen mijn leven was voor het begon al gedaan
"Alcohol kills brain cells, but naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of alcohol eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine."
Gazing into mirrors as she threads through life
