Sex is not a race
Sex isn't a race, so take time to explore her. Focus on her thighs and
lower belly. Make a mental circle 2 inches around the outside of her
vagina and don't cross the line while you kiss, lick, and caress.
Give a woman plenty of Time
If you want morning sex, set your alarm at least 20 minutes early. A
woman won't want sex if she's hurried, and she'll probably need about
20 minutes to reach orgasm.
Grunts are Better Than Nothing
She'll give longer and more enthusiastic oral sex if you give her a
verbal response. Even appreciative grunts are better than silence.
Vary the Stimulation
When you're all the way inside her, add side-to-side movement or
up-and-down pelvic pressure against her clitoris to vary the
Make a Fantasy Lottery
Both you and your lady write five sexual fantasies down on five
separate notebook cards. Then head to a restaurant where you can get a
booth and some privacy in a public setting. Over dinner and wine,
pull out the cards and make three piles "yes," "maybe someday," and
"not on your life." Put the possibles in a shoe box, and once a month
pull out a winner.
Mimic Her Style
Ask her to kiss your earlobe with the same pressure she prefers during
oral, then cop her style next time you're south of the border.
Work out together. Think of it as fat-burning foreplay. It will raise
her dopamine levels, easing her anxieties. Bonus: Your post-run sweat
has androstadienone, a testosterone derivative that spikes her
arousal when she smells it.
Remain calm when a decked-out bombshell strolls by and you'll be
sending the message that you're too smart to be wowed by a Wonderbra
and red lipstick.
Give Her the Perfect Compliment
The best compliments are the ones that involve multiple senses. "You
have beautiful breasts" is nice. "You have beautiful breasts they feel
so soft and warm in my hands" is that much more intimate.
Don't Give in to Temptation
If a woman who knows you're spoken for comes on to you, it's
flattering. It's tempting. But remember that she's doing it to feed
her own ego, not yours. She wants to see how much power she holds
over you. And if you take her bait, she then knows she must be
superior in every way to your sweetie. Deep down, she has nothing but
contempt for both your male weakness and your mate's existence.
That should really piss you off.
Find Her G-Spot
Use your thumb to press on her G-spot, as if you were making a
thumbprint on her vaginal wall. You're shooting for the area about 2
inches inside the vaginal opening, on the front side.
Use Your Tongue Wisely
When kissing, don't use your tongue like a dart (in and out, in and out). Instead, try varying motions and amounts of pressure.
Doggy-Style the Right Way
Doggy-style tip: For over-the-top stimulation of her most nerve-packed
parts, keep thrusting short and shallow, rather than deep and fast.
Tell Her What She Wants to Hear
Words she loves to hear: "I want to make you feel good."
Hang Out with Your Married Pals
Looking for The One? Don't abandon your spoken-for friends. A guy with a
wife or live-in girlfriend has an expanded social circle meaning he
knows more women (that he could potentially introduce you to) than he
did when he was single.
Keep Contact Indirect
The nerve-packed clitoris actually extends several inches under the skin
on either side of her vagina (like a wishbone), which means you can
massage it without direct pressure to the bud. Trace the extensions
with flat, wide, extra-wet tongue strokes or slow finger zigzags.
(Don't forget lube.) Then rub a slow spiral around the top, drawing
closer with each pass. The combo of anticipation and indirect contact
will bring her pleasure centers to life.
Send Her a Letter
Write her a letter one that does not involve a laser printer or an
e-mail address. Write what you feel, but the ruling sentiment should be
one of gratitude and confidence in your future together. Then mail
it to her.
Give Her a V
To increase clitoral contact when she's on top, make a V with two
fingers, and place it so the point of the V (just between the two
knuckles) is directly over her clitoris. Your fingers should come down
on either side of your penis as she rides you. This will stimulate
the clitoris, inner labia, and urethra as well as add intensity for
Call Her within 48 Hours
A beautiful woman gave you her number; use it within 48 hours.
Otherwise, you'll look scared or stupid for resorting to high-school
Leave a Confident Voicemail
If you get her voicemail, leave a message. To convey confidence, your
voice should be deep and moderately loud. Stand up and hum a little
before you call it will bring your voice to the ideal pitch.
Don't Go South During Foreplay
During foreplay, agree that the genitals are off-limits. Touch the
other parts of her body, using fingers, a feather, a silk scarf, or
anything that turns her on, and ask her to describe how it feels.
This builds the tension until you're both ready to explode.
Ease into Dirty Talk
Want to know if she likes to talk dirty? Tell her, "You make me think
dirty thoughts." Ease in slowly. It's best to test the waters a bit,
rather than immediately go for your deepest, kinkiest dirty talk
right off the bat.
Flatter Her 5 Times a Day
Compliment her at least 5 times a day. It'll make her feel special,
appreciated, and closer to you. And the more connected she feels, the
more sexually inspired she'll feel.
Shop for Cologne She Likes
If you don't have a cologne that she likes, shop for one with her. It's a form of foreplay.
Hold Her Hand
Holding hands can work as an aphrodisiac. It shows her you're devoted and proud to tell the world.
Assume a New Position
Assume the Cuban Plunge sex position: As you assume the man-on-top
position, ask her to bring her knees to her chest and drape her legs
over your shoulders. Her vagina will be elongated and extended, and
your penetration will be deeper and more pleasurable for her, which
qualifies as a win-win situation.
Compliment her in front of your friends.
The next time you kiss her, don't try to steal second. Just kiss. Men
use kissing primarily as a means to an end to advance sexual
relations. Yet women mainly use kissing as a way to monitor the
status of the relationship, and especially a partner's commitment
Keep the Lights Low
One of the biggest reasons women can't relax during sex is body image. Keep the lights low. A candle? Perfect.
Show Her Passion
"Passion" means being in the moment and not being distracted. Sex is a
conversation, and she doesn't want to feel like you wish you had
Whisper Fantasies in Public
Lie on a blanket in a park, with people all around, and whisper
fantasies to one another, sparing no detail. You'll create sexual
tension but with safety, as there's no possibility of sex then and
Use anticipation as an aphrodisiac. Instead of tearing her clothes off,
take your time. Tell her what you want to do with each section of
Tell Her to Go Slow
Words she loves to hear: "It's OK to go slow." Say it and mean it.
Sit at a 90-Degree Angle
On a dinner date, always position yourself at a 90-degree angle to her
rather than straight on. If she sits at the end of the table, sit in
the first seat to her left. Turn toward her from the waist, which
will give her the opportunity to turn toward you.
Don't Agree to Disagree
When you and your girlfriend disagree, never agree to disagree.
Agreeing to disagree shuts down the communication process and
resolves nothing. And the less comfortable she feels communicating,
the less confident she'll feel about the relationship.
Ask Her for a Kissing Lesson
Ask her to demonstrate what she considers a sexy kiss. Then let her do all the work. It's educational
Mix Things Up in Bed
Don't be afraid to mix things up in bed. Sexual novelty re-creates those early-relationship, take-me-now hormones.
Fund a Sexy Shopping Spree
Fund an erotic shopping spree. Write out a gift certificate with an
expiration date that coincides with your evening at a hotel. If she
prefers to shop alone, let her either way, you'll find out what
Join a volunteer group. Selflessness is sexy and research has shown
that women consider altruism more important than men do. To show your
selfless stuff, join a Meetup volunteer group
Start Sex in a New Place
Start sex outside the bedroom. The same old place leads to the same old
patterns. So explore some new erogenous areas: The kitchen. The
bathroom. Quebec City. Your bodies will be in new places, making it
unlikely that you'll follow old routines.
Offer Her Chocolate
Feed her chocolate: It'll load her up with phenylethylamine, a
neurotransmitter that activates the brain's pleasure center, and
caffeine, which can jolt her sex drive.
Ride in an Overnight Train
Take an overnight train with your girlfriend or wife. There's the
excitement of traveling in a novel way. And there's your sleeping
compartment. It's a new place and it moves, which adds a new dynamic to
sex. And it's somewhat public: There's the excitement when you're
in flagrante delicto as the train stops, and people are outside your
Use Appliances as Vibrators
Here's a new place to have sex: on the washer. Your washing machine
produces more vibration than any other appliance in the home. When your
butt's on the lid, the motion is transmitted through your penis,
essentially turning your member into a life-size vibrator.
Stop the Elevator
New Place to Have Sex IV: the elevator. Try a freight elevator. It
won't have an alarm, and you can stop it between floors for more
Seduce Her in Your Car
Relive the past. Take her to the garage and reclaim a space you long
ago ceded: Seduce her in the backseat of the car. It feels a little
public, it's steeped in testosterone, and there's a throwback,
high-school quality to it.
Earn Your Right to Experiment
Sexual experimentation is earned, not inherited. It requires time,
tact, and trust: 66 percent of the women we surveyed said they're
most willing to experiment later in a relationship.
Give Her a Proper Warmup
Clitoral contact in particular feels abrasive without a proper warmup.
If a woman yips or inhales suddenly when you go there instead of
purring or moaning you've jumped the gun.
Try a New Sex Position
Try the Yab-Yum sex position: You both sit up, and she faces you,
sitting on your lap with a pillow under her bottom for easier
penetration. You'll have constant contact with her clitoris, but she'll
control the pressure.
Use Your Beanbag Chair
Another new place to have sex: in a beanbag chair. You can contour it
to any shape, and it'll support you in unaccustomed ways. Doggy-style
sex works great when she's on her belly, draped over the amorphous
blob (that's the chair, not you).
Have Sex in a Forest
New Place to Have Sex III: a national park. If the missus likes to
vocalize, pitch your tent in Alaska's Denali National Park, where 6
million untamed acres and a crowd-thinning permit system leave little
risk of waking the neighbors. She'll gasp in delight when the
midnight sun bathes the Big One (that's Mt. McKinley, buddy) in
salmon pink light.