As always I wasn't feeling too well, so I saw only one option open, I got myself drunk. Well I wasnt drunk, but my head was in the cloud. I wasnt thinking clearly so I started talking to a guy, the guy I talked about in the beginning, B. Well now a day or two later Im having a bit feelings for him again. I dont know why, but he still touches my heart in away. I cant explain it and Im afraid that hell notes it because I already know that hell break my heart. A friend of mine talked to him yesterday and she said that if he is planning to do something more than just talk and hurts me that she will be mad and he said that he wasnt planning it but hes thinking of it now. I dont know what the do!!!
B. doesn't talk to me unless i start. But i'm don't have feelings for him anymore. I don't know what to do, I've met a guy a week or 2 ago, but he really broke my heart. That's actually why I speak english now xD. But you know, he's an ass, but I still think of him. I thougt I was over him, but I wan't thinking about him because I was thinking about B.. It is complicated! I just like two guys, but the firstone is an ass, he kissed me but a few days later he was really mean. And the secondone just doesn't think about be, I'm just someone who's killing his time. It sucks to see that every guy I meet is an ass, or just doesn't like me for who I really am!
What would happen if I never said anything? Would you still like me? Would you still want me? Is it what I said? Is it what Ive done? I kind of wonder if you actually really cared what I wanted; maybe you just wanted to have fun. I should have known, I should have known that you where just looking for a girl. A girl that doesnt mean anything, a girl who doesnt want more. But is it my fault that Im attracted to you? I wish you knew how much it actually hurts me! I act like I dont care, I didnt even mind, but to speak the truth I do mind! I cant sleep because of it! You make me crazy! I thought I was more, just a bit, not the world but still more than just a flirt! My mind is spinning now, I thought you liked me! My heart is breaking every time I think of you! I dont say it, but I do think of you! I wish you were here, I wish I was still holding you! You hoped I saw you like you see me, but I have feelings! I cant just forget what happened! It isnt a problem for you, now I know that, but I wish I could know what youre thinking! I wish I knew what was going on in your mind! I wish you spoke to me! Is it so wrong to care? Is it so wrong to like you? All I wanted was someone who liked me for who I am and not for my body, or looks! All I wanted was for you to really care for me! Is it so wrong to ask that?!
Ik wil niets meer zeggen, ik wil gewoon leven en niets meer voelen. Geen liefde meer, ik wil niet meer verliefd worden. Ik ben het beu! Ik ben gebruikt! Weeral!
Ik wil niet meer babbelen met jou, je brak mij helemaal vanbinnen in naar buiten! Ik ben veranderd, op twee dagen tijd ben ik anders geworden! Ik ben veranderd, ik denk anders, ik wil andere dingen! Het kan me niets meer schelen wat er gebeurt! Ik wil gewoon leven, ik wil leven zoals ik droom! Ik wil doen wat jij mij aan deed, ik wil mensen die het verdienen pijn doen! Al de pijn en leed die jij mij aan deed, waaraan heb ik dit verdient? Aan niets! En nu? Nu wil ik hetzelfde doen wat jij deed!
