I woke up just like all the other days..I hoped I didn't wake up.But it doesn't work like that. I get it.
I planned to go to the library today but I had to go to the bakery so I was already late to go to the library and then my brother was being a dick.So I didn't want to go there anymore.
I decorated my room.I made a blanket tent of my bed.yay I feel like I'm sleeping outside.
Ew I was watching tv today and it was a marathon of series of young and married and I came to the decision that I will never marry.
But when I slept over my friends house(she's a girl)we watched it too and she was like "I really want to be married young".So my plan is to let her sleep over my place in the summer when I'm home alone(wich won't be too much) and we will watch the show and she'll problably say the same and I will be like "will you marry me??" Hahaa yeah I know but I do like her.but we've been friends for over 3years now.Less than a month ago she said that if something would have happen between us it would have already happen.
No,my lover,it hasn't but it will.
Its weekend so I started to study for the upcoming exames woah..
Idk 2 or 3 days ago my parents went to school to talk about next school year and my teachers said that they have faith in me and that I can do it.we will see but it won't make a differance anyway.(My believes).
I was lying in bed,watching tv and I laughed about something and my heart starts to hurt really badly.its the same pain I have since I was 11.
When I was 12 or 13 we went to the hospital to search what it really was.They still haven't figured it out(everything seemed okay).so life just went on.Every once in a while I have the problem again but now(I'm 15) I am struggling with the problem more and more.So like 15 minutes ago I had it again and it was like this was the end.I thought that it was the end and it felt like it.I couldn't move or breathe so I just lay there in massive pain but 2 or 4 minutes later it was over.oh wow..maybe I'm over acting and such but I think its a serious problem.
Its weekend and basically my first chance to study for the upcoming exams.
I really need to study to pass ugh I just feel like I should have died when I was at my lowest.
I've been down all day today lol and not a single person cared to ask.
I miss to self-harm woah my heart hurts so much.
I don't want it to be summer bc people will see my scars..(And my fat body)
Well whatever I'm done
I've got stress bc in 3weeks I have exams.I need to have good grades to pass.
Life hasn't really changed so I don't know what to blog about #whitegirlprobslmao
My best friend is still jealous bc I talk more with Niels(the guy who's flirting with me,and I with him tbh)than him.I can see and feel it that he's jealous and then he tries to make me jealous by saying things like' 'eh when r we going to meet with the hot chick''to a friend of him really loudly so he's sure I've heard him.sigh I'm getting annoying bc of him.
And he keeps looking at Niels and me when were standing together.
Can it be over yet??
Wow I haven't talked to my best friends today oops.
I normally go by bike to school but it was raining too much so I went by bus and I was waiting on the bus,smoking a fag.and a girl I used to follow on tumblr was there too.I knew she sometimes takes the same bus, too but it was strange that we were alone.(She's a friend of a girl I already had met of tumblr so yeah I know her from the girl)
Sunday, my sister and I ate fries so we went shopping for food and she usually smokes fags but we passed by a spot that smelled like drugs and out of the blue she takes a joint out of her fucking pocket???like euh??
I've got new books(harry potter!).
School started and it was a good day.my best friend and I talked about sex,porn,..it was the first time he was mature about such things.
(I lost 2 followers on tumblr lmao)
A girl in my class(she has the same name as me but written different)its her birthday and I had the idea to watch porn so we all did(2 girls didn't want to watch)(they are kind of the outcast??) and it wasn't pleasant like at all.lol.
Me and my bff wrote on a table.(5months ago)we wrote like things like our name(yes that was stupid) is a lesbian omg.
I like sigarettes too much
