Brett Berk: “Who is Lauren Zizes? If she were a Crayola 64 color, a planet, and a Doritos flavor, which ones would she be, and why?”

Ashley Fink: If she was a Dorito, she would totally be Cool Ranch. Because she’s a bad ass, and Cool Ranch has that tangy-but-can-go-with-anything flavor. If she was a planet? Well, Uranus is the obvious choice. No, I’m just kidding. She’d be Saturn, because she likes the rings—Lauren likes to dress up. And the Crayola 64 color? That’s the big pack with the sparkly ones inside, right? I’d say, Midnight Blue. Because blue has so many great variations, but Midnight Blue is the dark one.

I often have a hard time keeping track of the show’s multifarious plotlines. Where do things stand with your character right now? Is she in the glee club? Is she a Cheerio? Is she gay or straight? Is she dating someone?

As of now, Lauren Zizes is definitely in the Glee Club. They needed an extra member because Kurt went to Dalton to join the Warblers—we lost a soldier—so she stepped up to the plate. I think she secretly enjoys herself, because how could you not, singing and dancing with those kids? In terms of dating, I don’t know if she believes in labels; I think she’s an equal-opportunity offender. But . . . I can’t say too much. She’s expressed interest in a couple people, and it may or may not be getting a little spicier very soon.

I’ve heard that you have a featured role in the Valentine’s Day episode “Silly Love Songs” that airs tonight. What happens? Extortion? Infidelity? Threesome? Puck?

All of that. Every one of those.

No. What happens in the Valentine’s Day [episode]? There’s some serenading. Not necessarily by me. There’s a pretty epic altercation, which is one of the most fun things I’ve ever done. And there’s maybe, possibly, a throwdown. But Lauren runs the gambit in that episode. I think the Glee Club is something new for her in a way. It opens her heart a little.

I recently interviewed one of your colleagues on the show—O.K., it was Kevin McHale [Artie]—and he alluded to some mounting antagonism between you and Santana. When I suggested it should be resolved in a bout of Jell-O wrestling, he did not deny this as a possibility. Comments?

No. I’m not going to deny that as a possibility, either. In fact, I’m going to text Ryan Murphy right now!

There’s some truth in that. That pretty epic altercation may or may not include Santana. She’s kind of territorial, and she can be…kind of scrappy. And Lauren’s a wrestler, so God only knows what could happen there.

Well, everyone loves a chick fight. But what other kinds of deviance can we expect from Lauren Zizes in upcoming episodes?

Well, there is a master plan in the works for her. Not necessarily…as of now. But around the Valentine’s Day episode, or the one after that, she hatches a plan, and it definitely involves some of the Glee Clubbers. And they all get into a little bit of trouble. But not necessarily from her! She goes full throttle into the Glee Club, and I actually think it’s great. There’s a camaraderie she finds, and it’s sweet in this weird way. It’s very sweet, and I’m excited.

I’m excited, too!