Things are slightly weird nowadays. I worked practically alone with sc on Friday, and we both had said goodbye to each other on Thursday because we thought we wouldn't be seeing each other till after my hols. We were both really surprised to see each other on Friday so. But it was cool. We worked really well together. It was nice to be around him, not wanting his attention or anything. Just happy to see him. He's not in love with me, which is probably for the best anyway since I'm so independent, imperturbable and self-assured most of the time that it brings a chill to plenty a man, I guess. I don't want to say I'm frigid, because those who've seen me drunk know that I'm quite fond and passionate when my interest is sparked. Like when discussing a favourite author or painter or something like that.
Things that would make it difficult for us to have a relationship:
- the fact that I'll have to consciously stop myself from comparing him with my ex - not worry about what I might be doing wrong - getting to know him - getting to know what our common interests are - talking to him about emotional stuff - laying down rules about seeing each other - laying down rules about seeing other people from the opposite sex without arousing suspicion and/or jealousy - accepting each others' friends - not being jealous when seeing each other with other people in the shop - not minding seeing each other all the time at work - talking about how far we can go in the presence of other colleagues - coming to understand what exactly we want from such a relationship - agreeing to disagree - learning to compromise - (for me) not to compare myself with other people who have really good connections with him - learning to remain myself and trying to communicate whenever something doesn't feel right for whatever reason - finding a place where we can be together occasionally (a place of our own so to speak)
But I accept that he doesn't want to be my 'boyfriend' anyway, and also if he's so into Lisa and she changes her mind - which she seems to be doing alright - and does start to fancy him anyway, that I shall accept that too, and be happy for the both of them, because Love will conquer all!
