There's so much I'd like to say to some people.

But I don't.
I can't.
I won't.

There will be too much fuss if I do.
And I don't even know if I'm right or wrong.
I only know what I feel and what I've been through and I know that right now, my vision is blurred.

I've got to make priorities.
Haven't got a clue who is really worth my time.
But most important, I'm a really bad judge right now as to who I can trust.

So I'm quiet a lot.
At least, if it's about personal things.
I can speak up about my personal opinion on general matters.
And I don't mind admitting I'm wrong and misinformed.
But I don't want to talk about myself, my personal life, right now.

People hurt others way too often.

Just the other day, I allowed someone back into my life, back into my heart.
But for some reason, I can't seem to just shut up and not allow this person to hurt me.
I think everything's alright and we talk. And then I noticed a lot of mockery, a lot of negative thoughts about me.
And I wonder. Why do I do this to myself?
Is this really a friendship?
Even if I tell the person: I'm upset about this. It would not stop.
So... I stop talking.
I made it very clear, if you don't like me the way I am and if I'm too exhausting, too whatever, there's always a possibility to not get involved with me.
Are we not both adults?
Do you really have to put in some efforts, only so you can later on blame me for your own misery?
What do you expect of me?
If you want honesty, you're at the right adress, but if you want me to shit rainbows, I'm sorry, I cannot do this crap.
Life's what it is, sometimes good, sometimes bad.

I'm willing to take in the good and the bad of everyone I like. They can talk to me about everything. I don't mind and I don't feel as if they are asking me to fix their lives or problems.
I'm okay with just being there, letting them talk and not actually fix something.

Surely no one expects of the other to come and fix everything in their life the moment something is broken?
Is it really that bad to say anything at all?
If I mention to you that my tv is broken, to you feel obligated to come over and fix it, just because I mentioned it? Or do you feel obligated to give the best advice ever?

If you are, you're wrong.
You can just say: ah sucks man.. Hope you'll get it fixed.
No offense taken.
I can actually get things fixed on my own.
No matter if it's a material problem or a problem related to my heart or wealth.

I don't need people accusing me of being a burden to their life. If that's how you feel: take a walk...
Do let the door hit you on the way out, I need some laughter in my life too every now and then.

But okay, in reality, I don't think I'm that cruel. I don't stop at second chances, you get many more.
And I'm compassionate.

But there's no way I'm going to invest more time and energy into people that would never invest anything in me.
And on top of that, don't feel too good about me to begin with.
That's okay, you know, you don't have to like everyone in the world.

I just rather put my energy into people that feel good about me being around them.
And hopefully, later on, won't blame me for whatever is going wrong in their life (I'm not the master of your life!).

Made me feel so bad, hearing the rants about me, I lost sleep over it.
Ah yes, I allowed that to happen again. So silly of me.
Now I'll have to try and not let this happen again!