walking trough the mists,

of an early morning in the forest.

 

nothing to hear,

but my own footsteps

and sounds of nature.

 

a bird saying hello,

some foxes,

talking about last night.

and looking for a desert.

 

suddenly i feel company,

look around,

but there's nothing to see.

the mist is to thick

 

the sun,

doing everything to break trough

gets a reward for her labor.

 

she made a hole,

in the clouds,

and starts shining down on me.

 

nature is waking up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

light a candle in the dark,

let the light into your hart.

dont make a fist,

carres that what was hard.

 

light a candle in the dark,

bring peace there where you go.

spread your arms and listen

to the peoples in the flow.

 

light a candle in the dark,

honer what is fragile and small.

be patient tilll the end,

let love be where you are.

 

 

in love and light.

every day,

i grow bigger and bether

in every way

 

i ame

the love, the light, and the wisdom

that you are looking for.

look at me

and see the unit,

see the light of love

in yourself!

 

lots of love , peace and understanding

for this time of the year!

for every time of the year!

for always*

first snow came down.

tikkeling my nose,

and freezing my ears.

turning everithing white.

 

the little footsteps of a bird,

coming closer to peoples,

to be able to drink.

 

the sun standing low in the sky,

doing the best she can,

 to give some heat,

to menkind and nature.

 

at night

when i look outside,

i wanna go out, bare foot,

and dance in the light of the moon.

 

thank you mother naure for this beatifull time of the year. 

yesterday i went to the park with a frend.

there where some kids there, they had such a good time!

they started making a circle.

putted a candle in the middle, and started dansing and singing.

they sang a song for our mother, goddes, the  moon and our father, god ,the earth.

they sang about autumn, the wind, the trees...

they were all dressed as witches, and blew some serpentine in the circle.

afterwards they took the ends of the papers and made a web,

over the circle.

conected ass they were they started dansing again.

it was beautiful to see.

it as so pure , and natural.

 

i loved it.

 

happy elfke

have been discovering myself lately.

i found out that i have some problems with love!

i always thought i did'nt give enough love , or the wrong love.

seems that that was not the problem.

i do give the right love and enough love and i do everything right,

but i think i do it wrong , and thats the reason for my failure.

the biggest problem is , i cant accept that someone realy loves me to!

and therefor i do not reseve the love,

i close myself or start creating problems so the person who loves me cant get the chance to realy show his love.

you probably think, why do you do this?

if i would know i wouldn't do it.

i think it is because of all i already experienced in the past, i think i'me frightened to get hurt again if i love someone.

therefor i wont let myself be loved or wont let myself love someone.

 

now that i know all this i can start working on it!

and i will.

i ame a nice and gentle girl who deserves to love and to be loved.

so why wouldn't i .

 

 

with love happy elfke

everuthing is os much more fun if you can share it!

that's why i now share my appartment with someone new in my life!

yes indeed you read it good! i got someone to live with me!

it is a man, he is 13 jears old and is oooohhh so nice to me.

you'll think, 13???

yeah it is a cat!

he loves it here, he is so sweet , his name is skunk!

a black and white cat! i'me so happy to have him.

and he needed a home so!

the more we share , the more we get!

if you share with love, (not in fear!), you'll see more luck komes to you!

you'll reseve more love, you'll get a great feeling and everithing goes bether.

whats fun if you can not share? not much i think.

you know, it even frightens me to think that there might be a time that i won't be able to share!

but ass fear is the worst guide in ones life , i do not listen to it.

i do listen to it but i transform it in love and trust!

more peoples should do so!

 

in love and light

with a sharing hart!

this morning i realized that it had been a long time since i wrote something for the last.

i almost got angry with myself but desided that it had been best like this.

i needed the time to adjust to my new home and several new sytuations.

i also needed some rest! after all the hard work!

and actualy i still need some rest, but not that much anymore.

 

i like my new appartment and i love the city life.

but when my mum came to tell me she and her boyfriend have bought a house in walonie,

i could not get a breath!

it was like: aaaaaaaahhhhh now there's no way back!

i paniced for a sec! but didn't show it!

i told her i was so happy for her, and hoped it would work out fine!

now well it did. two days later she had bought it officialy!

by that time i had had time to get used to the idee

Well i supose it has to be like that and everything turns out right the way it should.

 

in love and light

 

happy elfke

i'me now realy livving in my new appartment.

it is greart here, and i also have a pc, so you wont have to mis me anymore!

in case you did.

i' me bussy now to put the pictures i already have , on, my space, but it might take a while!

first have to install all the programs to put them on my pc, before i can put them on my space.

why do i tell you all this, you probbably know it all!

doesn't matther, i 'me bussy!

i want to do so many things at the same time!

and we can only do one at the time!

just a message to let you all know i me back in spaceland!

and i me happy about it!

love you all!

i moved to my appartment yesterday!!!

yep sooner then i expected, but i was soooo happy!

in two hours the peoples who helped me did the job.

last night was my first night over there, it was a little srange but it went well.

i got some more good news too.

someone i realy like gave me a computer, so i caled instantly to the internet company to make an appointment to install internet!

this means i won't be off internet that long afterall.

only have to wait till the pc arives! but that wont be long anymore.

seems like everithing goes like it should , and even bether!

i'me so happy. i realy ame!

this is a short message but soon there will be more!

dont pannic, i wont run away.

love ya all!

dady,

i haered a song yesterday!

while listening i realized why i feld so bad the last days.

no one will understand me , cause of all i have been trough.

but still i mis you, and dady i wanna say!

i forgive you! i forgive you for all you have done to me , and others!

i wich you could be near me, and see how proud i ame about everything i achived, i wich i could see how

proud you are about the same things!

we may have had bad times , but it would have been different if you where still here!

 

dady , i miss you!!!

 

with love elfke

i went to my appartment with a happy feeling!!!

last day painting, the rest of the week i can cool down!!!

nope!! not true!

my mum forgot to tell me we where out of white paint! so i couldn't do a thing yesterday!

damn!!!

i hate it, and all peoples who wanted to help me couted till yesterday, so the rest i will have to do on my own!

does'nt mather!

i got time!

and now i can also start making plans for the moving ! it will be this weekend!

so lets hope i got a van, and some peoples to help by that time!

i do not want my mum to help with it! cause i'me shure we will fight then!

and the last thing i want is to go out of the house with a fight!

i want to look back on it as a fun and joyfull time!

hope you all enjoyed this, and i will soon put some pictures on my space!

hope its all over very soon!

jiieeeeeee!!!

yesterday was a terible day, i was overstressed, and had a mager argue with my mom!

i asked her nicely to leave but she made it worse and started breaking me down, everything i had desided about MY appartment, the colours, the floor, the way i cleaned it up, everything i had done wrong!

i told her that it is MY appaertment and asked her to leave .

she didn't want  to, i said her that if she would'nt leave in half an hour she could do the rest on her own, and i would leave! that she could go and live there, and make everything like she wants it!

 

ooooohhhh stupid me! why in the first place did i let her help! i could have known it would end like this!

finaly after four times saying that i would leave she left!

so i could go on with painting and cleaning!

but now the badroom is done, the toilet is complete(thanx to erik!).

the meditationroom is done! and only the entrence and the coridor have to be done , that should be finished today!

the old floor in the meditationroom is out, the old floor in the coridor is out and all that has to happen is waiting for the new floor!

i hope they come soon to put him in!

i cant wait to move! i will be so glad to have my own place!!!

the spots in the badroom where now problem, they dissapeared like snow for the sun!

the tiles are beatifil, it looks all like new!!!!!

today is the final day of hard working!

from tomorow on, i can start thinking of moving!

and making arangements for it!

lets hope it is all done by the end of next week!

i was painting the badroom, but ass i started it went wrong!

i was doing it with a roler, it should be easyer!

but when i came over a spot where i already had been, the paint came of!!!

so i could see the damn bleu paint again!

I desided to put a verry small cote of paint over the complete wall.

and today i will put on a second cote , i hope the paint wont come of any more!

the tiles are beautifull. i like the result! they were bleu, old bleu! jakie!!!

i putted on a primer so the paint would stik to it!

now i painted them in white and they look like new!

 

soon i will put some pictures on my space here!

but i do not have a digi cam from myself , and have to wait till all the pictures are taken to put them on a cd , so i can put them on here!

you'll all have to wait a while to see the result , and the work.

i desided to make something special of my toilet, it wont stay completely dark, i will do something with it , but don't yet know what!

i'll let you know when i have an idee.

or if anyone has an idee, just let me know!

yep the next step!

yesterday i've been cleening all the walls of the badroom and toilet!

it was a terible job, my arms still hurt!

afterwards i started painting the walls from the toilet!

thats the smalest room of the house , but soon it will ass wel be the darkest room of the house!

the colour i chose is a little darker than i expected!

 we where laughing with it, and i said , it might be a dark room, but it wil be calming!

a friend of mine who was helping( erik) said : hey cool, then you can make your meditation room of it!

we laughed with it!

i said: soon it will not only be the smalest room of the house (thats how we caal the toilet) but also the darkest room! erik siad: even cooler , now you can also develop your pictures there! it will be a multi finctional room!

so peoples i have the most multi functional toilet of the world!!!

if you think that painting a toilet is an easy job your wrong!

it is a terible job! you have to be careful not to paint the pot! make sure you don't touch the pipes!

all kinds of corners! damn! not easy!!!

but it  a beaty!

 

next to the toilet is the badroom!

that will be the lightest room of the house!

she will be completely white! not easy cause there were blue tiles in there, so i had to paint them ass well!

it will be like heaven!

not yet finished , but today she will be ready!

i hope the workers kome to put my new floor soon, ones he is laid i can start moving!

most of the appartment is done, exept for the hall and the meditationroom!

but i can live in it while finishing that of!

so i leave it to this for today!

tomorow more!

yesterday i went there round elevn in the morning.

i cleaned the badroom, i cleaned the rest of the windows,

 i had to buy some special paint to make sure that spots wont be seen after we painted!

so i bought it and putted it on the wall where neccesary.

 

my neighbour,from upstairs came and asked me if i wanted to have lunch together wit her!

so i took the offer.

 

i also prpared the wals for the evening, i already did the corners and the borders so we could go fast with the rollers in the evening.

it was a succes. we painted four walls in less then an an hour!

 

but unexpected i had to change my plans .

i wanted to do the back of the livingroom in the lightest colour but i did not have enough paint, so i had to do one wall in a darker colour.

it is not a disaster! it is nice! realy!!!

 

eric a friend of mine who has been helping from the beginning, has filled some holes in the badroom,

the toilet and already, i wath i call the meditationroom.

so today i will clean up the badroom, and the toilet. and maybe i even paint the toilet already!

tomorow i go and buy paint for the badroom, and i will start painting it!

 

the works are going fast! realy fast! i did not expect it, but i will be living there by next week i think!

if they come and deliver the new floor soon it might even be sooner!!!

i hope so!!!

 

with love h.elfke

 

 

 

 

yesterday i have cleaned the windows,

specially thoes in the cicken wher verry

dirty.

all of them acctualy.

we have cleaned all of the dust out of the livingroom, and washed everything.

and started painting it.

i'me proud to say i chose the right colors it is  beatifull!

today we are going to paint the rest of the living, cause it is in two parts.

now i leave you all but i will let you know what happens.

 

with love

hapy elfke