I never thought that i would tell you but i have to be honest

I really thought that i could fall in love with you

I didn't but i could

You were the right girl and i believed that you could be the one that sets me free because i never told such things to anyone ever in my life

But unfortunately you only know you love her when you let her go 

I thought i knew the real you

The beautiful kind girl that was always ready to help people

But then i met the other part of you

The part that could make from her hart a stone and could blow me away like some dust in the air 

I am so sick of all this

My hart didn't break even

If you could see me now you would see how terrible i feel

Were did i go wrong ?

I lost a friend

Never ever would i have thought that i would let a girl into my hart again

You succeeded in opening that door and entering it

But you forgot that exiting it, is easy for you but the harder for me

So please stay inside

Like the stars can light up a night

You can light up my life

You can cheer me up at my saddest moments sometimes just with your smile

I will always love you my little star

Why am i always so stupid to try fix things when it is impossible

And when i try i often make it worse

I the problems are even bigger

Life is maybe too short to worry about everything

But it is long enough to not rush things

Sometimes you need to slow down and take a pause before you can move on

Why do i keep messing up things ?

I don't know what is wrong with me but for some reason i just can't hold a bond

I screw up things every time just like with you i had what i wanted and now there isn't something left of it

Every now and then i think to myself why ?

Why do i live ?

Why do i exist ?

But then i see you and i know the reason

We often just joke about missing each other and thinking about the other at random moments 

like when i am training for example

Well actually i sometimes do think about you

Nothing special but you sometimes slip into my mind

You treat me like just another person

One like there are ten million others

But i try to be different

I guess that the others would have thrown their towel in the ring and had given up

But i am not giving up on you

And i never will

On the outside i may look like i am 10 feet tall

But inside me i am way smaller than you think

When you think that i am confident about myself but notting is more wrong than that

I would lie if i said you were the first girl i almost cried for

But i am honest when i say you were almost the second

I miss the texting till 3 at night

I just miss the teasing we both did

I miss not only the funny conversations but also the serious ones

We simply could talk for hours and not even noticing time passes that quick

I miss those times 

When i grew up my parents kept telling me don't you worry child

Everything's gonna be alright

Don't worry be happy

And when I was young i believed in all of that and i didn't worry and was just happy

Now i just think to much about everything and that is wrong

What has happened to the girl that knew that i understood her

The girl that trusted me

Is all of that gone or is there some hope ?

I'am clumsy

My head is a mess

Cuz you got me and won't let me go

But i've been trying so hard not to let is show

Just cuz i'm scared to show what i really feel

And i don't know if you are able to heal

Even after all that i said, all that i have tried to proof

You still don't know what i feel and how much you mean to me

I know that what i hope is impossible but please let us try to build up everything from the start and maybe it won't be the same but u can become better