Yeah, today I had one of those days. You wake up and you just know everything will go bad that day. Okay I admit I was a bit tired from the party but hey I'm a student, that's my duty. I went to school around 8 o'clock, felt like it was 6. First couple of lessons were alright. I only had difficulty with keeping my eyes open. Strange thing. Eventually I got trough the day. But than I got home and turned on my music. I know...I'm better of not doing that. The people who really know me, know I life for music. Some days I listen to the beat. But most of the time it's the lyric that's important to me. I try to understand what they're saying. The song I played was Bosten. And than my head starts to think. I don't think I'm doing so well in life. I still don't know if what I study is the right thing for me. I also don't know if my boyfriend is the man I wanne be married to. Not that I don't love him. I do, with all my heart. But come on, every women needs attention. And I don't know if what I'm getting right now is enough. I was never with anyone else but him. Sure I loved some other guys, but it was never more than a fling. I wonder what it would be like. Would it be the same? I'm afraid to let other people in. I don't wanne start over with anyone. I wanne know them completly right away. Not go trough the awkward part. I know, that's not possible. But I just can't take the risk of not being happy. I told my boyfriend I was afraid, because I don't know what the world can offer me. Is there something out there that even winks to the perfect man? He told me he understood. One way, I was happy he did. We could finally talk about important things in life. But why didn't he just say he loved me and he would make me happy for the rest of my life? Maybe he wonders to. About the same things I do. Maybe he isn't so diffrent.
At the end of the day he's the one who holds me, calls me to ask if I'm still in love with him or carries my back when my rib hurts. I'm quite sure he loves me and I can feel I love him back.
Still there's this empty space or maybe I just think to much.
