With my luck, if i'm going insane, I'll be going insane "good" and fast.

So , while awaiting of that time, I will leave evidence, proof of my once "healthy" brain. 

Proof that i was once fully here.

Not really knowing who this evidence is for I do realize at the age of 25 (+3) that i have a lot to forget.

At first i think to myself, this is great, i can start forgetting all the horrible stuff that has happened to me so far!

Good job brain ! Then I think of all the things i shouldn't forget, like shady, mean people, and the reason why they are

no longer part of my life. What if I forget that and because of that allow them back into my life? ...less enthousiastic it'll sound

like....good job brain.

Then the really scary thought emerge... What if my brain forget the things I would never want to forget. My precious children, my husband, all the fun times we had.....very sarcastic and bitter now.....good ...job....brain....

And again....with my luck....it'll be that last one.

They always say history repeats itself...Although I'm not sure who "they" are.....but with my luck.....history WILL repeat itself with a vengeance .... You see my grandmother is a mentally ill person.....then there's my mother whom is mentally ill too but worse off....so what does this mean for me? Of course you know as well as I do it means what it means !!!!!

It's also very interesting/sad to know that the path to insanity is a very dark and lonely one.

Try talking to someone you feel like your head isn't working right, and they'll give you THE advice, "just have yourself checked"

JUST have yourself checked. There's nothing JUST about JUST. Yes while getting checked will result into knowing what your medical condition is, it wont take away the fact that you are LOSING YOUR MIND ! It confirms it so where do you go from there?? At least when you don't have it "just checked" it stays in between. Its not officially there. Not really.

So you go down that path in silence, hoping nobody will notice your glitching in memories, vague about conversations.....missing info or never ending debates on where you left something (no I  you didn't leave it there, but you can't remember for sure) and you suffer in silence when you cry at night because your head felt so off again that day .....

and with my luck, one day....my brain will say...

"I'm sorry, nobody is here anymore"