It's the middle of the day now and you'll see why I'm writing this. I'm at school and totally not hungry, I'm kinda upset about school lately. I'm getting lost in every little piece of life. Yesterday I started writing on my arm again. That's something I was used to do in secundairy school. It's like messages I can't tell anyone but I have to right them down. Sometimes it makes me feel better other times it's just a reminder of how I feel. I'm not sure what to do but I feel bad at school. As I said before I'm starting to lose my face in school aswell, the fake smiles are gone.

I'm in a library now writing this not knowing what else to do. I'll be in the library later today propably because I'm having a spring hour between lessons. No one knows I'm here so I'm alone, which comforts me a bit. People here don't expect me to smile, people won't wonder what is going on. 

I'm just, I dunno, lost I guess and I'll need to find track again. I'm trying to work for school, trying to comfort me in that way. I slept real bad and I was almost tolate for school. But no one wonders. I'm feeling terrible, fysicaly tired as those people say I have to talk to. 

I'm not sure if anyone else feels this way, I bet someone does. I'm just looking for an out way, looking to end these ways of living.

This evening there is a dance show of my ex gf I'm going to so it will propably a little late again tonight but I'll manage since if I go to bed it won't mather, cause falling asleep and staying asleep isn't that easy again.

I'm just like the months after Tess died, I'm almost feeling the same. Nothing to do about it but wait I guess. 

Anyone up for a talk mail me.