Lets start with the night agian. I went to bed pretty quick last night (1.30am) and slept pretty well until 8am. Then Tessa woke me up, she said she wanted to talk to me about important stuff so I sat down and listened. She started explaining stuff she had done on her first schoolday after the holidays. She seemed so happy but didn't had time to talk to me yesterday she said. While talking we started thinking about what we did together and how every moment we are together nothing else mathers, it's just having fun.

Then I started remembering stuff again like our drawing, me helping her with her hair and stuff like that since she mostly didn't know how she was supposed to look she asked me all the time. Perhaps not such a good idea but Heeey lets get crazy ;). 

It also reminded me of the time we spent camping in the wood and in her garden. The songs and stories we made while sitting at a campfire. She was a great singer and was great ay playing the guitar. 

After our hour of talking I fell asleep again, this time my mom had to wake me up because I had to leave for school. 

At school I felt bad again since I remember Tessa her talking in my head and I wasn't sure what to do. Am I getting worse, is this something bad ? Oh dear, but as soon as I had people to talk to things got clearing away and I could focus on the talking with them on school. The first lesson is something I really like it's VHDL but the second was such a boring lesson .. After the lesson I had to drive home quickly cause I had to be in Ghent again in about 2 hours, so with some traffic I got home in about 40min, eat, grabbed some stuff and left again with my motorcycle. Oh man i feel so alive while driving my girl ;). 

In Ghent again we had to go to the university to listen to some stuff about our robot competition, so we were talking about cool stuff. After it I went to a friends home with some fries and we eat them there and started searching some stuff on the internet about the robots we had to make.

While driving home again I started thinking about how it would have been if Tessa was still around and how she would be able to help we not feeling down every little time alone. Well there wouldn't be a reason to be sad about. Tessa was the one texting me instead of me having to text all me friends now. Kinda makes me feel like a stalker xs. 

Going to bed early I think cause I feel bad, but found a way to get sleeping with some raining noise in the background and with me uncles teddy dog with me. 

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Adding

The fact of being alone makes me sad as well, cause if you walk around everywhere I look I see people being happy together. Watch it at school, in shops, even while driving I start looking at it xs. I know there is this girl who said to me, I don't have to rush anything cause that is a bad idea to do. But After a long relationship being alone is something grrr. I just want someone to hold and have next to me. Someone to be myself with. I don't need someone for sex or anything just someone to hug, someone to love xs 

Goodnight everybody. Feel free to mail me.