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Hey everyone, I hope you all doing a bit okay.
Today was the first day of school again and seemed like a good start ;) Although it's going to be a pain in the *** again this semester since I'd hate seeing some people ;). On the other hand this semester is only electronics anymore so some interesting stuff ;).
Yesterday was valentines day and I was to tired to write after a 13hour day so I left it for today. Good thing about it was I was working in the kitchen and so I didn't have to see all those couples in love ;).
Although I didn't have much sleep last night, I didn't had any nightmares either, so for the 4.5hours I slept I slept well. Tonight is going to be something different since I should be able to sleep about 8 hours again.
But once again I'll be laying awake thinking about Tessa. On the first year I knew Tessa we went to the cinema together for valentine just bacause the both of us didn't have a relationship so, why than not go together. But it makes me remind of her ofcourse, she was so happy back then, We had a whole day together and we had Mc Donalds, walked in some shops in Ghent and sat down in the park at the Zuid, just enjoying the fact of being happy as we were. That is who she was with me, everytime she saw me she smiled and we had a great time, but when I left reality striked again and the bulling started again.
Even on this they some people remind me of her, not in total but parts of them remind me of her. For example how she laughed, how she kept wondering around while we were talking, moving just like me. That's where I find my joy in other peoples.
Although there is this girl who makes me feel better when I see her, kinda makes me a little happy aswell. But than again it isn't easy for me to talk to her. Since I have no idea how to keep a conversation without me akwardness.
Anyway I miss the fact of somebody to hug and to lay next to, somebody to watch a movie with and take a walk and I could see that girl in my dreams. How I fancy hugging her, having a walk in the park and stuff but I'm pretty sure I won't mather, and it will stay a dream :(
Anyway peeps Thanks for reading again and See you next time ;)
For those knowing my pain, I'm trying to open myself to type what I feel but it makes me wanne cry to much so I write it in big lines. I'll learn how to describe it.
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