The only problem is throughout the movie I figured out what I had to figure out, and later this night I got my point aswell. The "single" movie makes it kinda clear to me that however things will run, she's not up for it, and deff not with me.

What I did catch on me this night again is the fact that she makes me smile all the time and feel good while I'm with her, but again it won't work out. And people tell me that you have to keep fighting for the girl you love and stuff like that, if it's really ment to be than it will be. But I just keep figuring out that it won't be, so I have to stop putting it in my head that it will. I lost a lot of things through keep thinking some day it will be alright, I lost a relationship with a beautiful girl, because I couldn't forget that girl. No all those years still figuring what could be else if I had kept that relationship with that girl, what if, maybe she wouldn't be in the position she was now. Maybe she would have had a better and happier life than she has now. This could have been different for the both of us now, not thinking about how it should have been and how impossible it is now. 

You know I'd normally be the first to say nothing is impossible, and nothing really is but is it worth the effort is it worth the fight ?

Anyway it's time to move on and find something else in my life. While I was sitting and talking to her. I was thinking about my close future, me being around people now and so I figured I'd like to go out more now, find some friends to hang around with, go joke with. In Ghent I figured that it's not to late to party. The only problem is now I have to find a way to get in touch with people with who I can go out with. People to hang out and have fun with. 

On the other hand I'm going to search people to do stuff with on the other half of the day. I'm thinking of going to side see some abandoned places here in Belgium, The netherlands Only thing is with who, and where will I find those people ;). Anyway going alone is an other option.

I just want to be more freely and try to put a smile on my face, getting hold of myself and start living more.