Today I'll try to have fun again, I'm struggling with me foot with hurted a lot this morning but, physical pain can be managed.

Want to visit work as well where I found out things are pretty harsh since again no one else is able to work, and I should come. But I'm going out for once ;) But again there I'll have difficulties since the girl I'm going out with is like somone I've always wanted to be mine. But it didn't work out, although we are still friends it keeps me thinking that things will work out someday. I've already noticed that it won't work out, so my feelings started changing but when I see her and think about her I keep thinking about the littel time we had together and how I wish it would've been.

Now we gonna watch a girl movie I guess but I don't care ;). (How to be single) 

After the movie me and her will go and drink something and we'll see how my feelings will be. I just know that trying something that doesn't put effort in trying back won't workout eventually. 

On the other hand there is this girl who I'm interested in but that won't work out either I think, although I'll keep trying to figure out if it will work out. I'll keep trying to have a talk to her and getting to know her since I know she has a beautiful soul and she sure has the looks as well. But she's busy most of the time.

My felings are kinda wrecked lately, but that prob because me and my ex-gf broke up about 3 months now and we would've been 2 years and 11 months now. Which is a pretty long time, but it didn't work out anyway. For those wanting to know: 

Me and her were little to different, I'm like an active person who'd rather be busy and rather go away than staying home all day watching movie after movie. An other thing which was different is the fact of standing alone, since I'm a very busy working all the time, going to school, evening classes and some other courses. And she stopped school and started working, so when she came home she was tired. Which again for me is like coming home I'm still pretty active ;).

I'm not sure that were the only reasons because, we argued a lot lately, like almost everyday we saw eachother, which only was about once a week tho. 

The thing is I miss having somone to return to, somone I could hug without making it strange, I'm a guy who likes to hug people around most of the time. But for most girls this seems strange I have a feeling and getting a real hug is then impossible. So while chatting with me I mostly type hug, since I would give you a hug if it was possible. I really like to be in the arms of somone of having somone in my arms. Which makes some people jealous, like my ex got jealous for me being with certain girls, not because she didn't trust me, but she didn't trust them which is mostly pretty strange since they all have a bf. 

Anyway, the thing is I'm about to find out again whether I should stop chasing something or that I should keep a hold on it. I know it sounds strange but after 4-5 years of not knowing how I have to keep my feelings for her, I'm still not completly sure what to do. Shall I tell her, I won't because I'm to afraid to tell her, or shall I see that it won't work out ? We'll see and I'll keep you updated tonight.