We have coloncancer in our family and I need to get this checked out. My doctor asked me all kinds of questions that I did not know the answer to. The only one who can tell me anything, my mother, is not interested in telling me anything. All she cares about is that she does not have cancer. 

I aksed her if she doesn't care about the health of her 2 daughters and she answered NO. 

I think she meant that, at that moment , she didn't care. But I was shocked none the less. 

Me and my mother don't get along, she critizises everything  I do. She can never accept anything I do or say. 

I tried my very best to improve the relationship but  I have had enough. 

Onwards to better things - finally finished painting the living room; I picked the right color, but have to wait until tomorrow to see it in its full glory. it is red. 

And I made an appointement with the hairdresser for tomorrow. The second one this year. Which is odd because I usually 

go only once a year to the hairdresser.

I want to try something new, half long, half shaven. will let you know whether I went through with it. 

FOR CRYING OUT LOUD - STOP IT -  I MEAN IT - YOU NEED TO STOP; 

My hatred for the backstabbing bitch is so profound that seeing her makes me mad. Working with her is nearly impossible. I need this to stop. I like my job. I want to keep it. I need to let this go.

I have a problem with hypocrites, people meddling into my affairs en backstabbers. I am no angel, I don't even like me so why would anybody else and it still hurts knowing that you are not liked. 

Hopefully it is out of my system now. I need to focus on tonight, I am going to the movies with my brother and tomorrow I took a day of work to do some shopping/painting 

It gets in the way of me doing my job, because I am cursing them in my mind instead of focusing on my job. 

Taking my medication to counter the anger makes me sleepy, I did that yesterday. So Today I write about it in my blog. 

She always needs to be in te center of attention or draw attention to herself and she is so loud, I hate loud things. 

Gaia. right. I don't know whether you have ever seen a commercial of Gaia, but it touches me to my core. 

The most recent commercial is about horses in Argentine. The horses are meant for consumption and the way they are treated is horrific. 

I just want to kill anyone who does that to animals. Horses were beaten, had shattered legs, were skinny as hell. 

Animal cruelty always  has a devistating effect on me. But why is it that I feel the need to read about it, because I know it will ruin my day and yet if I see an article with a title that announces violence, I want to read it. Usually I feel so bad afterwards because human cruelty knows no bounds.