Hi there. Yesterday was the bday of Kristof. I sang to him, yeah, you may laugh, but I did! It's not because he isn't with us anymore, he shouldn't be celebrated. I just wish I could've spent the day with him, next to me. However, I hope he had an awesome bday!
Today was the first day back to school, after two weeks of (AWESOME!) holiday. I so miss Knokke! Damn, I went there 2 times, with Mandy, and fuck shit damn cut, it was AMAZING !
We really had a hell of a time down there! It made me even more realize how much I love the girl! She's really my best friend, just as Socioo. I wouldn't be able to live without these two. They made me who I am right now & they're still making me. So, lots love for those girls !!
But okay, now I'm going to get to the point, I promise.
Mandy & I made a plan, because we so didn't want to go to school! We were going to pretend as we were going to a new school, in a new town, with new people.
But unfortunately, the plan didn't work! Although, there are a few new pupils on our school, they aren't cute or whatever =D
But omg! There is some bad news! I hope I can say the next time that my thought is wrong!
But I'm thinking that Blondie (not Blondie Knokke!) has left our school !!!!
And tell me, how bad's that?! REAALLYYY BAD!
I sooo hope he isn't!
I would miss him (a) !
But we still got "Hamstertje". But he doesn't really look my way, ever. =D Well, sometimes he does, but I think, "par hassard" =D
Oh yeah, we'll see.
But one thing I know for certain! :
This girl needs a fling!
With Love, Jackie*
24/01/2008
My stomach hurts ! Goddamn =( It so ain't fun !
Yesterday I was thinking like the whole day of TVP ! So bad ! I thought I was going insane! But thank God, Mandy was there to make me think of other things. And she made me laugh, like always. I realized (for the thousand time) how much I love her. I so couldn't live without her! She makes this world heaven to me. And I even love it when we 'voos' (a) . Everything I do with her, even if it isn't so fun, I charish. We must be happy with the time we can spend with eachother, and so I even love it when we fight. I really do. No shit bitch, we still share the same heart =)
Mandy, no one can replace you, or Socioo!
CYD was AWESOOOOOOOME ! I've had a wonderful time with (of course) Mandy ! I so love her & her extremly beautiful voice. She rocks! & so did the camera men 8-) !
So since yesterday, my Magician is gone for already 9 months. But it feels like he was still with me yesterday. Nine moths, damn. It's a very long time =) I miss him, yes, I do. But I'm able now to live with it. I need to be thankful for the time we've had. A lot of people will never experience what I did. So I'm better off ^^. I love him, and I always will. And I have my bad moments, but you know, through the good & the bad, I'm strong enough to deal with it.
02/02/2008
Keep bleeding, keep bleeding, keep bleeding love. The song's in my head & it doesn't come out! =D
So, yesterday, I went to a suprprise party of a classmate who turned 18. It was fun, but I went home early, 'cause the elisa's were gone too. But now that I did those things again, like I always did when I went out, Brushing my hair, doing my make-up, with the elisa's, I realized that I do miss it. I always thought that I didn't want to go out anymore. But you know, I still do =D. It's just that I'm scared to do sneaky to my parents. I don't like that. I don't want to do that anymore :). Elisa told me yesterday that she missed me, that we've grown a little bit apart. And, yeah, I guess it's true. But I still love her ^^. And my times with her are still great. We've really had a blast yesterday, unfortunately, Mandy couldn't be there. She'd have had fun! But Mandy & Jackie are probably going to Knokke again! I know the answer from my parents between this and an hour, I guess. And if it is a yes, then I'm going from sunday 'till wednesday. I'm already looking forward!
But back to the elisa's =D
I do miss them. But Elisabeth told me yesterday that in the class I'm always quiet to her & stuff. But you know, I hate school, I don't hate Elisabeth! =D But it's just, during school, I feel like I only want Mandy with me. (a)
But that sooo doesn't mean that I don't want the elisa's with me! =D They think, because of that, that I don't like them anymore. But that ain't true! NOOOOOT ! ^^
I love them & I always will
& I adore partying with them, they're my partyanimals, now & forever <3.
So, yesterday, during the schoolday, we needed to go into all the classes to promote our campaign of selling roses. Unfortunately, I had to do the class of wacko too. And he gave such an ass-remark !! He was nagging about the price, in front of all the class, WHILE I was speaking! I mean, how an ASS can you be?! Damn, I really hate him again. AND THEN HE DARES TO PUT A HEART ON MY NOXA !!!!!!!!!!
ASSHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLE =l
Pffff, I'm sick of it.
But the worst thing is that I care about what he says & that I care about what he thinks. Whyy jeedie, whyyy ?
He's such a fucker & still, I can't do anything 'bout it. I so need a fling to destract me =o !
But heeeeeeeeey, I've got Mandy & Socioo ^^
& together, we'll get through it all, through the shit & the lies, trough the fun & the pain.
I love love love love love them (l)*
13/02/2008
Hello there
Today was quite a wierd day. I blame wacko for that one .. Pf, he's got me so confused. I feel like I don't understand myself, & that's a bad thing ;p. It's just, I want him to give up on me, you know, it's waste of time, but at the same time, he pisses me off, because he didn't send me a rose for Valentine. I don't know why I feel bad about it! It's so not fair against him too. One moment, I shit at him & hate him terribly much & the other moment, I feel like I "need" him, or a part of me does. It's soooo confusing, seriously, I hope you won't have it ever. And it's all so hard, because I don't want anybody to know about "us", although there is no "us".. Goddamn, it's real shit down here. And I've got really a lot of stuff on my mind, things that seem so fucking important, but actually I know that they are not. But still, they keep going on, on my mind. It's tough, it makes me feel down & stuff. It sucks =)
I'm happy that I've got Mandy. Because, really, Socioo is letting me quite down :). And that hurts probably the most. She just doesn't care anymore. When we talk, there are so much silences in it, because we just don't know what to say anymore. It's like we don't understand eachother anymore. And I don't want that. I'm just hoping that I will realize soon that it was just a down moment in our (special!!) friendship. I don't think I can miss her, but the way it goes now, I just don't want to "go on", you know? It's hard to explain. Let's say, I don't get any feedback .. She doesn't give a damn, or that's at least the impression she gaves me. I don't get it, I thought we were forever, and now we seem strangers. And I so don't want that :). I HATE ITTTTTTTTTT.
I don't think she understands how much I love her. 'cause That's quite a lot ;). A LOT LOT LOT. =)
She really may not get out of my life, I don't want that :(. I want her in my life, in the middle, with Mandy. Those two, damn :) No words, honestly, no words can describe that.
Pfff, I feel sooo bad =)
But I don't want to call Mandy or Socioo. I just wouldn't know what to say. I need to figure this out by myself, I just don't know how yet..
Tomorrow's Valentine day =) I actually hate that day, all commercial stuff. But hey, if it helps people saying those 3 words, than I don't mind. I wish I could've said my 3 words when Magician was still with me.
Damn, you see? All bad stuff in my mind ! I so need to shut up =)
I'm going to listen to some music.
You hear from me soon, Jackie*
14/02/2008
Hi beautiful
I've got some good news. I've had a good conversation with Socioo. I'm so happy that I've done that. I cried, she cried, & that was a sign that she cares, we both do. We agreed that we've had a 'down', but it's gonna go back 'up' soon. Together we'll always pull through we said. & damn right, we will! I'm really releaved. I'm happy, truly deeply happy about it =D
I received a call on my way back home! Mandy has been hit by a bike! An old man has let her fall down & just went on riding! The son af a bitch, I mean how much of an ass can you be?! He'll better be prepared for the time I will see him, he won't survive. They need to stay off of my Mandy! They'd better get that! Hurt her, hurt me = Dead.
(a)
She's having a concert for the moment, Mandy. I hope she's doing well, but I guess so. ^^ No matter the less, I'm crossing my fingers for her!
Goooooood, I'm so fucking happy about Socioo! =o I'm so glad we've had that conversation! & I'm so fucking glad that she still cares =$. She's a part I need, so if I would lose her, I would be incomplete. & we don't want that, do we? ^_^
Today's St. Valentin. We selled about 200 roses & have got at least profits of 150! Isn't that good ? =D
I received a rose from my Mandy. It was really sweet, she thinks I don't really care about it, stupid of me to not say anything about it anymore. Because Mandy Mandy Mandy, I do!!!!! You're the sweetest baby! I adore you. Never forget that!
So, I didn't get a rose from Wacko. But you know? I don't mind, really I don't. I need to close this chapter of my life, for once & for ever. Well, the love-thing, I still want to be friends with him. I want to get him to know me & opposite. I really want to know whether he'd still love me when he'd know the real me .. Hihi.
Tomorrow I'm going to give Blondie his rose. =D He'll be surprised (a)
Mandy & I have sent him a rose, but anonymous! He doesn't even know us, so he won't find out that it comes from us! He's still got an effect on me, you know! Haha =D
& Slonsje & TVP. But that's all =) Those 3, I like. And for a serious relationship, I think only slonsje & TVP. 'cause, Blondie, I just want him as a fling, I don't think I could live with him =D. He's probably a jerk ;p, or at least, that's what I guess.
But damnnn, he's hot , hot , hot , hot! I truly want him in my bed someday ! ^^
Hmm, my bed. I want to sleep =D
Again (a)
I always want to sleep I guess ;p Born to sleep you know ^^
Magician was the same, he could sleep for 20 hours =D And then I called him awake (a)
I was thinking about Jannick today .. I was thinking that a part of me hopes that our friendship can come back, someday. I don't know why .. It's weird. But you know :) He was really a friend of mine & we've had something special back then. I liked him =D
& we had always a blast ! With Magician & Levy. We 4, we were a great duo. And now, there's nothing left. So, for Magician, I would forgive Jannick. 'cause I know that Magician wouldn't want everything to change ..
Houh, Magician. I want him hereeeeeeeeeeeee. It's hard to miss him. And it's not true what they say, that it gets better with time. NOT! It doesn't change =)
You keep on missing him, long time ago or short time ago. He was my true one, or at least it felt like that. I must admit, I don't know him true & true, but I already knew about 70% about him, and believe me, that's a lot. Nobody knows another person completely, so I think I passed with glans. ^^
Pff, he's soooooooooooooooooooooooo perfect =o. I still can't understand it. For me, he was/is perfect. Really. But I'm the only one who thinks that I guess. =D I found out that a lot of people couldn't stand his jealousy & his humour. But I did (a) hihi. I mean heyyy, we were both not funny, so we understood eachother quite well ^^.
I still love him, I really do.
And I guess I always will.
He's in my heart, he takes in a really huge spot in it.
I miss, love, adore, want him unbelievable much.
We're forever, as long as he keeps that in mind, I'll be glad =).
Mandy has sent me an sms! It went all perfect ^^ I knew it. I'm proud of her!!
I'm going to send back now,
Love Jackie*
15/02/2008
A day to remember!!!!! Blondie spoke to Mandy & me today!! As you know, Mandy & I've sent him a rose, anonymous. And he knew, obviously, that I was in charge for the whole organisaton of the sell of the roses. And he called me, in the midday-recreation. Like: "ej" =D
Me & Mandy like : "Uh?" ^^
And than he asked whether I knew who his rose was from. Of course, I said that I didn't. Luckily, Mandy & I could stay serious, but as soon as he left, we literally RAN away to a safe place & laughed extremely hard! And we kept on laughing as we went into the class. We've even done a lucky-dance. Haha. We felt like real teenagers. But hey, I want this guy since the beginning of this years & HE TALKED TO MEEEEEEEEEEE! =D
If that ain't a reason to be happy, I don't know it anymore.
& for the first time since, I don't know, 5 years ago or something, I just want to go to school ! =O
Can you believe that? So, for I say that, you surely must believe that he is hot hot hot hot! (a)
He really makes me fucking horny bitches (a)
I'm just hoping that he hasn't got a girlfriend anymore, however I doubt that ..
& the stupid thing about today was that Blondie has had an argument with Zouzou.. Zouzou thinks that Blondie is always looking pissed at him & provocating him, and he can't stand that. But honestly, I also think that he can't stand it, because he knows deep down that Mandy & I like him =D. I really do think that, Mandy, if you'd read this!! =D
Damn, I just can't quit laughing =D. I feel silly (a)
But that's aloud today. Today, everything is aloudddddddddd!
Blondie Blondie Blondie Blondie
Je veux je peux !
Oh yeah, before I'll forget it: during lunchtime, I stay at school with Mandy. But most of the people of our school go outside, Wacko & Blondie & all the others too. So I was amazed (fo' real!) this midday! Suddenly, Mandy looks to someone. I turn my head to see who she's looking at, & what do I see? =o
Wacko was eating a table after ours!!!! Can you believe how we sat there? =o
Like hell, I almost had a heartattack!
=D It really wasn't healthy at all. I think he's had a meeting for 100days or something..
Never the less, it was quite frightening =D. I wasn't prepared to that one!
But, I can say that today was a memorable day! I loved it, I truly did!
& you know what? I think that if I was with Mandy right now, things'd happen, very strange of very funny things. =D
