Only 12 months ago my dad had a cerebral hemorrhage. It was very big and he was very, very lucky that it was on a spot where it didn't do much harm. Normally a hemorrhage of that size would lead to paralysis of a big part of the body or death. My dad only suffered minimal damage. He lost a quarter of his eyesight of each eye. Other than that he has a bit more problems with oriëntation and concentration. But nothing you'd really notice if you didn't know him before. After that they said he'd probably never be able to drive again. This because of his eyes. Very frustrating for him. He loved the freedom it gave him. He also wasn't allowed to work for a certain amount of time. In september (when I was on holiday even) he suddenly had to be brought to the hospital. When my dad started to act weird at home, my mum got worried and called the ambulance. She left to the hospital just before the ambulance drove away. When she got to the hospital the ambulance hadn't arrived yet, but she saw the "MUG" drive away. This was for my dad. Eventhough it's only 5 kilometers from our house to the hospital. At one point the ambulance had to stop and call them to come and take over. I got a phonecall from mum saying that my dad was in the hospital and that this time he wouldn't be so lucky. Later I heared that he showed all the signs of a cerebral hemorrhage at the core of the brain. There would be no chance of him getting out of this without a paralysis of most of the body, if he would survive at all. We were very relieved to hear that this was not the case. My dad had his first epilepsy attack. This was a status epilepticus though. He would've died if there wasn't anyone around to call in for help. He was again lucky. All the doctors were surprised by the luck my dad has had so far. He could've died twice. When he had the cerebral hemorrhage no one was around and dad himself couldn't do much. He had lost his coördination of his eyes and couldn't see any telephonenumber completely. He, to his own surprise, could remember his mum's number and phoned her to tell her to warn someone. And when he had his first epilepsy attack my mum was around. Only the next day he would get permission to work again from the doctor. He obviously didn't get it after that.
Yesterday my dad had his second epilepsyattack. They went to taste the menu for my sister's wedding and he had a little bit of wine. They had said last time that the attack had to be caused by stress. He was feeling quite alright these days, he says himself. We think the wine escalated everything. I phoned my mum to tell her what time I had to be in Sint Niklaas the next day. Dad was being very weird when he picked that phone up. He said that it started earlier, but he hadn't said anything about it yet. He was getting scared though. My mum luckily noticed and called my sister. We both were in our pyjama's. We dressed ourself and actually got ready very calm and in control. I wasn't too worried. I knew it was an epileptic attack, it had to be. I also knew we read the signs a lot earlier and we would be in the hospital on time where they can help him. I was very sure that he'd be alright. We got him in the car and into the hospital. He just stared in front of him and looked absent the whole time. In the hospital they did some tests. He still hadn't had an attack. When my mum and the doctor were talking, my sister and I kept looking at dad. And suddenly he got his first attack that evening. I had to walk away from there. I couldn't handle seeing it. I didn't cry, I left before I could get to that. I just focused on calling my brothers and just thought about what I knew about epilepsy. That wasn't a lot really. But the things I knew were enough. I knew a lot of people have epilepsy. I even saw a dog helping a person with epilepsy. If a dog can help, surely doctors can. When I went back inside, it was over. He had a second attack and then a third one after me and my sister left. Between the attacks my dad was just starring in front of him or he was looking at us. It was horrible to see. I didn't know wheter he was listening to the things I said or not. I didn't know if all that got through. Today my dad said that he heard everything. He was mostly focussing on trying to reply. But he just couldn't. I think he only reacted twice to the things I said to him. Just something that came close to a smile when I was joking around a bit. I didn't want to look too scared, so I made little jokes. I thought that if I looked too worried, he'd feel bad. Cause parents do, right? When their kids feel desperate and horrible, they want to do something about it. They can't stand the look on their face. Well I know my dad will feel that horrible. I know my mum couldn't pull of a smile, my sister couldn't either and my brother... he just kept quiet the whole time. He didn't say a single thing. So I did. I kept strong and possitive. Took over my mum's thing.What happened to dad really broke her. It looks like she has a harder time being strong. Cause with this she is on her own.
I saw dad today. He can laugh with my little jokes now. Feels good to have someone laughing with my jokes.
