24. 05. 11 / Rain - A toddler has come on Monday evening in the Lower Bavarian rain after a dog attack with serious injuries to hospital. As the police in Straubing on Tuesday announced that the two- year- old playing in the garden of the great- grandfather.

He probably scared the dog, a shepherd mix on. " Although he is regarded as peaceful and quiet, the dog has bitten the child several times in the face" , said a police spokesman. The boy suffered severe injuries to the face and head. Against the great- grandfather is determined for negligent injury. Category List Picture: AP

9: 02: 10 / Vancouver - The project is the culmination of gold are the career of double world champions Aliona Savchenko and Robin Szolkowy. But the Chemnitzer pair runners some stones are in the path. The Chemnitz couple runners do on 15 February at the top of the podium at the Pacific Coliseum are available from Vancouver.

But along the way, the three- time European champions this season, some clear stones from the road. Because of the recent flu the 25- year- old native Ukrainian, was detected in several blood tests, no acute glandular fever, had the pair of coach Ingo Steuer his practice workload significantly reduced. " They follow their great goal at any cost, but they need to run error free at the Olympics, " says Treitz Elke, Vice President of the German Ice Skating Union ( DEU) . The competition for the returnees and former world champions Shen Xue / Zhao Hongbo of China is not as strong as in years.

The judges were the Asians in the past competitions is also extremely weighed. " It is a very athletic battle, " says Treitz. The last Olympic figure skating medal brought together with Mandy Woetzel tax, in 1998 when she won bronze in Nagano. " If Aliona and Robin take their performance is all possible, " said tax, who converted to the success even in the middle of the season in the freestyle. Accompanied Savchenko / Szolkowy by Maylin Hausch / Daniel Wende ( Oberstdorf / food) that could walk near the top ten. Dreams of returnees and Stefan Lindemann, who wants to quit after the embarrassing position 21 four years ago in Turin in style with his career 29 years ago. " The stability is with him has increased.

If he triple Axel jumps his right, he should walk near the top group, " Treitz calls from the Erfurt. With the return to competitive sport returning Olympic medalist Evgeni Plushenko ( Russia) and former world champion Stephane Lambiel ( Switzerland) , the field will be manned excellent.

For the first time since reunification, the DEU is with a full team in the Olympics at the start. The refreshing 16- year- old Sarah hedges in the team of eight skaters to lie down a good premiere. To think of the front seats would be presumptuous. " Im not a big worry about pressure, my strengths are the jumps and the nerves, " the Mannheim Erin says confidently. Their first joint training with world champion Kim Yu- Na at her first Grand Prix, it has motivated, not discouraged.

The 19- year- old is regarded as top favorite for Vancouver. Only a minor role Eistanzgeschwister Christina and William Beier ( Oberstdorf) will play, share their Olympic debut. dpa

19: 07: 02 / BY ANGELA WALSER Unterhaching - The sum insured of 10 000 had long paid to the car owner ( 27) from Unterhaching, when the agency reached a rare telephone call. The caller, a relative of the 27- year- old claimed that the fire at a vehicle in September 1998 in Green Forest go back to arson. The investigation began. A year ago, the case could be solved ( as reported) , yesterday was in court.

To solve the financial problems of Unterhachingerin, had their father ( 56) simulated a carburetor fire, as he poured gasoline into the engine room and had kindled a fire. At least, the 56- year- old confessed yesterday before the District Court of Munich. Together with his son ( 30) and his daughter, he had to stand trial in arson and insurance fraud. He had allegedly set the fire alone and his children later explained, the car was burned out. This version seemed less likely than the technicians for some time before the son and the daughter- in- the arson was proposed as an idea.

Both spontaneously rejected his plan. Finally he borrowed from the car, drove to Green Forest and implemented his plan into action. About two years later it began in the marriage of the son to kriseln difficult.

The 30- year- old threatened his wife, he would because of mothers own insurance " leak" ? fraud hang up if they did not leave the children. In her distress told the 27- year- old like her sister. Yesterday, the defendant is presumed the " leak" . Her mother was behind it, she sobbed and then tearfully told a devastated family relationship.

From her mother she had been beaten for years as a child.

Later, the abuse of anonymous and false ads would have continued. To her family not to meet in court must, she admitted that it was aware of insurance fraud. The court sentenced her to ten months suspended sentence.

Her husband, with whom she now lives again, and his father were each given a half years. As a support to regulate the three the damage of about 10 000 .

27. 01. 11 / Frankfurt / Main - slept through New Years Eve? No problem, in a few weeks in Taiwan celebrated the next New Year.

After the traditional lunar calendar, begins on 3 February, the new year of the rabbit. This tells the tourism agency of Taiwan. The festivities take a good two weeks. The highlight is the Lantern Festival on 17 February in the capital Taipei, where several tons of heavy and light- meter- high figures are shown.

These illuminate the dark streets and to the tradition to facilitate the search for the " spirits of heaven. " dpa

27. 10. 10 / Moosburg - blessing in disguise was a 32- year- old Peugeot driver from Baden- Wuerttemberg on Wednesday afternoon in a traffic accident on the Bchlkreuzung in Moosburg not hurt you and your twins.

The woman wanted to turn the corner to the left direction Erding, however, overlooked the Audi of a 34- year- old moss Burgers. The woman and her nearly two- year- old boy survived the crash unharmed, the Moosburg suffered a bruise. Police estimated the damage to Moosburg with a total of 15 000 euros.

4: 05: 11 / Anzing - Once around the town Anzing out a very special way.

25 kilometers long is the bike and hiking trail that has developed the campaign " Active 55" for the upcoming anniversary year. In the form of a leaflet the community Anzing a small card has hung in a 25- kilometer walking and cycle path is located approximately in the northern municipality. There is also a little shortcut in the forestry sector, so in fact the round walking ( bike) makes up just under 22 km away. The starting point of the initiative of the " Active 55" was.

The occasion offered to the upcoming anniversary year of the upcoming community Anzing. Based on Anzing the journey goes on Obelfing direction and then over the top and bottom layers of local Asbach along the A94 as far as forestry inning.

From there, turn north off directly on Markt Schwaben.

The market town is affected only in its southern region. Lindach on the road continues through the wood to Poing Poing. It crosses the tangent Airport East ( FTO) . Poing controls from the hikers and bikers on Angelbrechting. About Neufarn ( community Vaterstetten) and along the hard wood, it goes to Purfing and park right in the Ebersberger Forst.

Target point here is the Sauschtt.

From there the trail leads directly back to the starting point. Many citizens participated voluntarily in order to make the route finding. Care was taken that the surface for bicyclists and pedestrians is feasible and that the move is also the one or other option to stop.

Also mentioned in the flyer. In a welcoming address writes Mayor Franz Finau that the routing offers everyone a good opportunity, " the variety of all know and appreciate what makes Anzing and its surroundings. " The road to invite to be wondering about it, what is worth preserving , but also how the community should develop. Those who have already collected impressions and experiences, can send them as e- mail to the address anzing. bayern. de franz. finauer @ . The leaflet was delivered to the citizens now have the community newsletter.

The signage is not quite finished. Sorry in advance incomplete printed signs were made. The complete and proper signage will also take place in a few days, they say. The cost of the signs were funded by a federal grant of " Active in Age" . Officially opened the way on Saturday 21 May, by 10 clock.

Meet at Asbacher way corner of Park Street.

Non- smoking - yes or no? 23: 06: 10 / John Loehr, " referendum - thats what" ; 23rd Munich June " Passive smoking is known to be particularly harmful for children, so young families in the tents are kindly lose out, the poor smokers are not two hours without a ciggy its reasonable. A bold, stupid you can not really argue in a holiday flight to Bangkoks go eventually, my nicotine addict! " " We voters should decide now between plague and cholera.

Here, with two proposals once again cut our much vaunted freedom and with a bureaucracy covered is second to none. Here we wanted to reduce bureaucracy but this is also yet another illusion. Would not it have been easier, building tents etc. , smoking " or" Non smoking to identify, then every free citizen who can read, decide whether he goes there or not.

So we are once again constrained and the bureaucrats take a further barbed wire around our freedom. In one- room pubs to 75 square meters is: Are drinks mainly ausgeschnkt the host can allow smoking.

Does the landlord can now certify their space so that the size of the room and it is exactly what is called for, mainly beverages? With such vague terms, the authorities want to spoon- feed the free citizens.

Food and drinks will be balanced, so you can make decisions? Does the landlord keep a record so he can prove that he belongs to the category of up to 75 square meters, so he has to do nothing else.

Im still going with, no vote because here the spoon- feeding is not so bad. A beer tent, no smoking is not conceivable. Incidentally, my wife and I have never smoked except for some youthful foolishness, but we made good time bad. We have four children, two smokers ( on the balcony) .

My mother has her life in restaurants held up as a non- smoker your lungs enjoys excellent health and is 97 years old. Nevertheless, in terms of smoking, the, the Hofbruhaus Aloysius advice to the Bavarian state government bad it is bad but the solution for us with Yes vote will be even worse. "

21: 03: 11 / Ebersberg - " This is a joke, " says Jochen Carl federally protected amphibians to fence at the new southern bypass of Ebersberg.

For him, the structure made of galvanized metal is not even an ornament in the landscape. Every few yards down by the frogs could. " The fence does not flush, " criticized Carl, who is on the BN- circle group of contact for questions amphibians.

Everywhere would be between the fence and land currently still open up gaps of 15 centimeters. " I could imagine at first do not know what will be, " he says.

In many places in the district of frogs, toads and salamanders have to re- cross roads to reach their spawning grounds.

Residents have in the recent heavy rains in the southern bypass of Ebersberg already observed that frogs from the cemetery hillside their traditional spawning grounds during moss tends Inger. Between two long noise barriers gapes at this point a great pass, the frogs have taken the obvious already. If the animals should make it, without prejudice to cross at the traffic on the highway the road, theyll probably be glad that in fact under the newly erected fence frog yawning gaps of up to half a meter. However, then arises the question of why the 750- meter long " demarcation line" had to be built of sheet metal at all - of the current meters for 50 tax money. Total cost of road construction, according to official: At least 37 500 .

The frog fence was built after zoning approval, Johann Taschner informed of the nature conservation authority. Responsible for the fence is the road authority Rosenheim. Perhaps, Taschner believes that amphibians trails were previously not studied closely. Carl criticism that the government had not been protected during the construction involved. He holds an amphibian fence at this point, however necessary, " so there is no movement to and from above. " Frank Ruckdschel department of roads Rosenheim rejects the frog fence was a design fault: " Our landscape gardeners see it differently. " So that the trains will not be spawning to funeral processions to be again this year supervised amphibian fences at seven selected hotspots in the district. " Average of 28 collectors attend early morning and late at night those routes.

From buckets to catch the animals then picked up and carried across the street, " informed the federal government. Following these considerations would have to pass between the noise barriers will also be closed with a frog fence. For now, the amphibians can indeed by Ebersberger cemetery in direction to run Inger Moos on the busy street.

If they survive this action, but they come from the built especially for her amphibian plank no further, because if that would optimizes such that at least the frogs from the barrel Inger Moos after a successful breeding business can walk back. " Because, unfortunately, can be observed in parts substantial population decline, it seems to us still on the few bucks, " said Carl. The environmentalists ask the people in the district, on days with strong amphibious movements FAEN slowly - and not only because more and numerous frogs, but also the factors frog Managers on the move, looking after the fences, pick up the animals and in buckets, the street wear. " Understandably, it is convenient for the volunteer helpers not to be acted upon by water fountains. " The Confederation nature " can not serve all crossings" for they know. Not all crossings are well known. Therefore, the appeal: " Please report the number of road sections with extended amphibians.

Helpers are always welcome.

01. 01. 70 / Gauting / Wrmtal - When summer comes back now that fits the middle of September, the step- like terrace will be available at the Wrm next to the new bridge in Gauting. Romes Spanish Steps, in the port of Hamburg are whole terraces systems - and soon has his Gauting Wrmtreppen next to the bridge saint Nepomuk. The ter- like facility on Wrmufer is largely completed.

These days are planted the ancillary facilities, in the first half of September, still follows the security grid.

The opening of the Wrm and thus the opportunity to experience the river was an important part of the Gautinger mission statement.

With a new roof! With a new house! With the new pancake!

With the new lump! With the new truth! With a new dream! With the new pile turvy! With a new business!

With a new word!

Fishers - with the new Cool! Careerist - a new rank of " Mom and Dad - with a new son!

Logger - a new grove! New zyatey with the new mother- in! New Russian - with a new wheelbarrow! With the new banking a bundle!

Bureaucrats - with the new folder! Hairy - with a new hat! The bald- headed, with a new cap!

Grandfather and grandmother - with the new turnip!

Zodiac - a new sign! Grecu in the river, with a new cancer! Don Juan - the new cute!

Veterans - with renewed vigor!

Businessman with a new take- off! With a new bank!

With a new account! Cooking - a new taste! Exporters - with a new account! Scorers with a new goal!

Transvestite - with a new floor!

Cosmonauts - with a new vysyu! Slowpoke - with a new idea!

Players - with a new way! You - again with the New Year! Papuans - a new Cook! Captains - with a new cook!

Presidents, with a new term! Deputies - but with the howling of the Duma!

Whos for the money - with the new amount! Fowler, with a new bird! JR. sergeants - with new strips of bast! Generals - with the new often!

You again with a new happiness! Subordinates - with your new boss!

Programmers - with new Dosom! Infirm - with a new dose! Hatha yoga - with a new pose! Brewers - with the new must! Restructuring - a new channel!

Unemployed - with the new place!

Tiley - need - with a new test!

Stalevariv - with a new melting! Had passed through prisons - with a new Help! Weight loss - with a new form! Former sober, with a new rule!

Tying - a new measure! Atheists, with the new faith!

Resident with a new code!

You all again a Happy New Year!

With the new song! With the new dance! Divorced with a new chance! Female favorite new 8uboy! Uncle Sam - with the new Cuba!

Selfless - a new bunkers! Reduced - with the new Labor Code! Drama - with a new drama!

Mom with soap and water - with a new frame!

Journalists with a new ear! Mediums - with a new spirit!

Chukchi - with a new story, Racing - With new turn! Taking the buy- in - with a new suit! You all again with a new happiness ! ! ! ! ! !

Graffiti. Petrov were seventh graders. Sidorov was a man of forty in full blossom. Peter liked to daub on all available surfaces of the word " Kui" , and on this basis among classmates considered an acknowledged master of graffiti and street art.

Sidorov loved his wife, three year old daughter, football, beer, as well as internal combustion engines, and on this basis considered the best mechanic in the station car service. One day in the yard on the order of administrations group of cheerful migrant workers erected a playground. Passing by the school Petrov noted with pleasure the fact that the childrens village has a lot of places, yet ennobled the art of Peter graffiti.

Sidorov from his balcony to delight in the fact that now is where in the yard for a walk with her daughter.

In the afternoon, returning from skipping school Petrov basement to just mounted in the courtyard of the hill and child, poking fun of the language, an indelible marker boldly painted on her his favorite letter combinations. That same evening, coming after work to walk with her daughter in the yard, Sidorov stumbled look at Peters masterpiece, and felt himself and his daughter, moral humiliation. Child a ride on the swings, roundabouts, took home, and then personally solvent Otter hill, instead of leaving the yard- long " strike while the" only vague divorce. Passing the next morning at school Petrov noted with displeasure the absence of a textual masterpiece in the right place, he felt morally defiled and immediately tested marker inscription restored. The same evening, Sidorov indignantly found on the site of the destroyed inscription " Kui" new label " Kui" .

Exactly the same, the same handwriting done. Being persistent and thorough, Sidorov again annihilate graffiti, but this did not stop. Faithful to the principle of struggle is not with the consequences and the causes, Sidorov, the next morning, sat down on a bench in the courtyard of an ambush, disguised four bottles of beer.

In the morning he ran past slides in school, Jones again saw instead of his masterpiece a dark blot, was struck by the barbarity of the local population and with the words " like goats" . . " reached into his pocket for a marker.

In the next wooden benches for the manipulation Petrova listlessly watched a man, take your time sipping beer . . . As soon as the boy turned his back, Sidorov put down half- empty bottle of Baltika and five long paces stelyaschihsya caught parshivtsa. Unfolded it to himself, turned the handle of the fingers, with a sense of deep satisfaction written on his forehead consternation kid: " Kui" .

A moment to admire the resulting body art - the letters went out in large, bold, visible from afar . . . He said: " Thats it! . . Eye for an eye! " And made a farewell kick kid. School that day Petrov truant.

All attempts to separate the house to get rid of headlamp signs with soap ended in failure.

Even when the evening came to help parents with alcohol, acetone, thoroughly ingrained in the epithelium of the day " Kui" continued to be challenging to read. - So now school tomorrow and go, asshole! . . - Summed up the rescue operation at around midnight Petrov senior. The next evening, Sidorov came with her daughter in the yard. Brand- new childrens slide pleasant feast for the eyes lack of dirty labels.

In his pocket lay Sidorova expropriated from Petrova marker. So, just in case . . .

Our site contains a huge collection of interesting funny stories from life. You are tired and want to relax? Our funny funny stories will help you pass the time. All stories are quite diverse orientation, but most stories taken from life.

To find a particular story, you can use the keyword search or filter stories on the labels ( attributes, categories that have some stories) . If you want to share stories, send us, we will gladly post them on our site.

In addition to stories on the site you will find Funny Funny humorous stories, taken of life.

Admittedly, March 8 is not the most romantic holiday in the world. Therefore, there is nothing wrong to suggest the men in advance, and what we would like on this day. They will . . .

I was looking for a gift to his wife of 15 years of marriage. The interesting thing was discovered in the shop, which sells remedies. The thing that I liked, was a pocket electro- shocker 100 . . . ) My dad had 25 years has a beard. And all these 25 years on each of his birthday, there will be people who gave him aftershave or shaving foam) or a hint or a blatant disregard . . . Im the only one in 18 years of naborchik presented . . . the means of cellulite has been banished, my girls heart did not understand this.

I have no such cases was a friend as a man distinguished himself - gave her . . . I want no war, We have to trust each other, So that was more kindness, But in general I want . . . a fur coat! I want so as not to ruin the forest And that there was no fighting, And to win progress I. . .

Fortunately choose a gift for a man - not as difficult as, for example, for a woman. Follow these rules - and you have no problems. Rule 1. If you have any doubts about the gift . . . A young man who wants to make his bride a gift, after lengthy consideration I decided to buy her a pair of kid gloves.

He went with his sister in the store ladies accessories.

I bought a pair . . .

When I finished my education and began a fruitful work, I met a guy from a neighboring department. The boy was pronounced phlegmatic, and many took it as retarded. But when good look and listen, as the first impression destroyed.

Suddenly it appeared that the hand movements in He did not slow, just smooth, but accurate.

It appeared also that he does not hang when answering the question, but makes a slight pause, and said slowly, but briefly and accurately. With the high growth and apparent thinness was a guy not only strong physically, but very even trained. And it was his passion - the Chinese " exercises" have- shu, in which he reached opredelnnogo skill.

And he told me of an incident of life in his leisurely manner. It was in the early 90s. He walked one winter park of culture and rest named Gorky, where in those days, the tracks were filled with water and formed a huge ice rink. On the roads people riding on skates, rented here.

He did not skate, but he accelerated and drove on the ice just like that.

Gaining a lot of fun. At one of the crossroads at his side ran out two ment stopped and potebovali documents, of which there were no available. There followed a discussion which resulted in a brief and precise answers my friend brought police from themselves. Both got on " demokratizatoru" and decided not to propose " that the brake" to go to the department for trial, and came down to beat him with batons and include what will be on hand.

So it seemed faster and more reliable. The first wave of a baton was unsuccessful - missed. The second - a little p 3chshe. Slightly surprised, cops accelerated pace. Another five or six strokes - became clear reason for the strange behavior of batons.

The guy at each stroke a little fed body, leaving aside for some centimeters.

And he did it is not up to the strike and not after the warriors swing, but much later, when to change the trajectory of the gun is no longer possible. The most offensive that his movements were slow- mockery - that cops were ready to swear. Depth of insults reached oceanic scales, when they noticed that this scumbag is still holding his hands in his pockets. What the f. . ? !

Flushed cops tried to stabilize the elusive goal by fixing the hands- free, and again did not succeed.

It turned out that to keep the sleeve grandmother in the transition much easier than a man trained in evasion and exemption from seizure. Little progress - the guy got the same hands in his pockets, but only just. Tried to enter from different sides, while continuing to cut the air with batons. But all the time as something happens that in direct contact with the enemy was only one of them, and the other, or slightly more than you need to strike, or even behind a comrade.

Being unaccustomed to intense physical exercise cops got tired and began to slip and fall on their knees, and sometimes two at once. The guy waited patiently for the rise . . . Increasingly incensed, seeing nothing around, wanting only one thing - to kill this creature, cops furiously waving their hands and batons as the two mills. A natural result - one of them got into the end demokratizatorom in the face. I reacted as expected and the riposte reaching a goal.

In response arrived, another splash. The fight broke out. Joyful cops, feeling the impact of hefty blows to get the same response, selflessly thrashed each other. My friend watched it for a minute and went his way.

For the cops, he was calm - the guys were at your favorite business and very busy. I wonder what they then poured all that stuff superiors, showing battle scars.

The history of both of . . . .

They come two guys, and before them - a girl. One says to another: - Just look! What rear axle!

What rear axle! She hears this, turns around and says: - Not your cardan joint to twist!

They come two dipso to the supermarket for food. One went for a drink, another - for a snack. Suitable for cheese, and says: - I 200 grams . . .

Well this . . . How was it? - And screaming the whole shop: - San, how you had called me yesterday by a dick? - Dutch. - In- in, Dutch! Night.

On the bridge stands a man going to commit suicide, is preparing jump. Suddenly stopping Mears from the guy rocking out - looks at the suicide blankly, and then climbs to him over the fence and says: Bro, Move over! From the bridge piss - thats a cool!

- Sure, come on, " she said - only half an hour later Ill go, but the house will Lesch, it will help you. Such an alignment suit me even more: Lesha, Julin older brother, long time I liked him, and obviously not without reciprocity. Knowing that might be left alone with me popular with Lesha, I tried to dress better.

That is, put the most beautiful lingerie - may be up to his show and will not come, but I read that beautiful lingerie changing self, and from there a special gleam in his eyes - , tight jeans and a sweater, which shows a figure in the most favorable light. The door was opened by Julia, who was standing at the threshold of a jacket and tying your shoelaces to go. - Well, good luck in ohmurenii my brother, " she smiled, closing the door behind him. Ive been half an hour sitting in a chair, and Lesch poring over the computer: First, my essay does not read from floppy disks, then the printer reports an error. In the end it was done. - Kiss - give up, " said Lesch, raising the printed sheets over his head.

I got up from his chair and kissed his cheek. - And I thought, do you like me . . . - Please. - Then you must not do so - he said, kissing me on the lips.

I have not had much experience of kissing, but the difference between Aleksei and his former inept gentlemen, I felt at once: in the past I have neither of whose kisses were not trembling knees and no- ones language is not called, coming into contact with mine, a wave of current. He firmly pressed me to her with both hands, and I stroked his hair, neck, neck. - Wait, " he whispered, pulling away from me. I did not realize that the room door was not locked.

Lesch slammed the door, he turned her on? Aoy of a mop that can not be opened from the outside, turned off the lights and sat in a chair, gestured that I should sit on his lap: - Well, lets continue? Leaflets with lecture lay on the table . . . His tongue worked wonders: I was very excited. While his lips explored my neck, I stroked his head, shoulders and back - to the best of his shirt.

When he came to a particularly erogenous point, I can not control herself and dug his nails into his back. He impulsively sighed. - Does it hurt? - I was worried - I feel good.

His hands were infiltrated under my sweater. Oh, how wonderful!

I took off his shirt and stroked his chest, back and abdomen. He breathed heavily and moaned. Fortunately, neither Julia nor his parents were not at home. He took off my sweater, picked up and laid on the bed while he stood next to his knees and began kissing me in the stomach.

Im just breathless with delight. My nipples harden and my bra now only disturbed. I rose up and undid it.

Lesch has pulled off an unnecessary article of clothing from my chest and took her. When his tongue touched my left nipple, I experienced an orgasm, but such a violent, some never get a " self.

Suddenly his face contorted. I realized what was happening: his penis was, as a club and zipper jeans hurt him.

I unzipped and pulled off his jeans, along with shorts, freeing the captive. I first saw the male member, as they say, in reality, but instinct told what to do. I took him in hand and began podrachivat. He also stripped me to the end. His hand parted my labia, his finger slipped into the wet vagina. - Ill be the first?

I nodded silently. - You scared? Lesch promised to do everything as accurately, and buried his head in my legs. He kissed the inside of my thighs, licking her vagina and clitoris . . .

Im already looking forward to when he would take me all over, but Alexei no hurry. When I was exhausted by the desire, he got a little higher, and again started kissing me in the stomach . . . Another would be a little bit and I came down to mind, but he reached for his jeans hanging on a chair and took out a condom, put it on, lay on top and a kiss on my lips, entered into me. His eyes darkened.

It was a very unusual feeling: a little painful, but very nice. - Does it hurt? - I feel good. He was not stopping to kiss me, and began to move cautiously.

Now did not hurt.

It was nice tolkoochen. I began to move her hips to meet him, he sped up a bit . . . Then there was accelerated . . .

He fucked me with all his strength, as the last bitch and Im incredibly pleased. I stroked his back, sometimes, in moments of particularly acute pleasure, lightly scratching it. Next orgasm does not make us wait. When he had finished, we kissed for a long time, unable to tear himself away from each other. - Im sorry, Im too excited and could not hold out longer, but if you want, we can continue, " he whispered. - Lets go ahead, but first change the sheets - I replied, nodding at the speck of blood on the sheet. - Why? Its even more romantic . . .

It was strange to think about something irrelevant, when your eyes are looking at this house. This building seemed totally uninhabited, and, perhaps, so fascinated. Like a picture of a great artist - the usual sort of detail would cause aching pain in my chest . . . . . . He stood in front of this house and wondered: Who will come out of the open door with his hands clutching his misted leaf tree.

He was pounding with excitement, she wanted to run away from here, so that would light burst from the pain. Despite the fact that the old house was demolished, and the weeds in front of the house had disappeared, an unusual feeling of anxiety, always visited him when he passed this site is even intensified. For many years, suburban area was abandoned, overgrown with weeds and thorns to the sky; apples - high and dry " neroditsy" as pale, old ghosts wrapped in the weeds their skinny body. Now the old, dilapidated house with black windows failures demolished in its place built a neat little cottage. Steve knew that pry bad, but could not resist.

Sixteen, a tall boy, perfectly proportioned, with a dark complexion, tanned body, with blond, sun bleached hair, stood in one spot looking at a light - green eyes, a slightly ajar door and waited tensely.

For the first time he saw the doors of this new home open.

Even after building a new home for a year nobody has ever seen that in this house, someone lived. But today, walking past the house, Steve first noticed the door ajar. Curiosity bound him hand and foot. He decided to wait until someone comes out of this house. He felt like his muscles tensed.

Finally, his patience was rewarded: From behind the door a tall, clearly above his figure: dark, almost black hair, wavy curls falling on her shoulders, fair skin person thin, strong hands in a white T- shirt black jeans. " Girl" - with disappointment thought Steve. Just a silly girl. " However, looking more closely, he realized that was wrong. Beneath the thin T- shirt was not his chest - only to tense muscles, sharp, but obviously male nipple. Jeans so the canvas cover long, muscular legs, that the convexity in" the very place " you could tell that this guy.

A guy with a thin oval of a girls face, calm blue eyes, sensual bright pink lips.

The long, curved down to the eyebrows eyelashes, black hair reinforce feminine image. " Steve, even opening his mouth in amazement, he felt shock; anything like this guy has never seen. If not for some " signs" it would put ten dollars on something that is a very pretty girl, perhaps even a model. Imagine your thoughts, Steve blushed fiercely.

He just noticed that already studying a few minutes looking at the stranger, but he - on him.

Stephens childhood taught to restrain their emotions, hide the interest in people, and, in any case, do not stare at anyone so openly. The guy shifted from foot to foot, not knowing how to approach closer, say hello, or leave home. He felt idiot. As if it caught for stealing fruit in a strange garden.

Hard look stranger more inclined to escape, and immediately. Steven strangers gaze seemed so terrible that he was ready to sink into the earth. Steve has already intends to leave as the strangers voice. To his surprise, the voice does not necessarily represent the views, was not angry or irritable. And vice versa, perhaps even friendly.

As if such an interest in his person to show that feminine guy the most natural thing in the world. - Good day, you seem to be my neighbor?

Whats your name? - My name is Steven, I do live near you. - Well, neighbor, I was just going to dinner, do not want to join? Ive been recently, and, frankly, I feel a little lonely. He smiled strangely, as if ironically. Like I was the one in the universe. - I understand you - Steve for some reason could not tell him you are. This place is really terrible.

He looked around apprehensively.

The old, rotten trees, which somehow did not cut down, casting jagged shadows reminiscent lurking predators. - I do not mean it. - The owner went ahead of him, showing the road. Location does not matter. Im talking about the absence of society. The stranger inviting motioned to one of the elegant chairs, standing on the street, hidden from view from the streets of lilac bushes.

My name - Daniel - he introduced himself, going into the house. Stephen was a little offended that the house no one was going to invite. Soon Dan, smiling, and returned with a full tray of food. Carefully looking closer to the tray, Steve almost fell from my chair in amazement. Huge, solid silver.

He alone must be heavy.

And besides: food, a bottle of wine. And Dan is all carried with such ease, though a slight saucer. Hot sandwiches downright smoldering, exuding aromas of cream cheese, ketchup and sausages. Tempting chocolate cake stuck out the top, decorated with whipped cream. When Daniel smiled, his white, like porcelain teeth, once again reminded of Steves girl.

More precisely, unnatural beauty centerfold. Each of them, regardless of their actual appearance in the photographs looked like porcelain dolls in the store. " Damn! " - He thought. Stop comparing!

Daniel, without saying another word, looked after him, as a welcome visitor, who are struggling to serve, not forgetting about myself. Stephen had never seen that someone had eaten so much and not to give izamzanym ketchup and cream. Steve had to gently bite that had not oneself dirty, and his neighbor, eating carelessly, remained completely clean . . .

Steve decided somehow, when they learn better, ask how he did it. What would then hit his mother. From the door of the house ran a huge dog with yellow eyes. Steve nearly choked. He wanted to get his feet on a chair, and then climb the nearest tree. it was a diver with the face and jaws rotvellera Pit Bull - the association immediately came into his head.

But in reality, this terrible dog it was absolutely impossible not to compare. - Whats that? " - He exclaimed, pointing at the dog end of the sandwich. I have never seen such a rock. Daniel laughed, and threw the dog a sandwich.

Beast gracefully grabbed it on the fly, not migrated from the place one stroke the neck. His head jerked, as though devouring that resists and continues to live. Ketchup colored canines dog barking happily.

Steve froze in place, unable to tear from her eye. He is absolutely hunger. - I do not think, Steve, that you ever even see a rock. Because these dogs do not exist anymore!

The dog, too, stared at him, elongated neck and twitched his nose. - David, get me a tape! - He shouted. The dog disappeared into the house, and a couple of minutes back, his teeth on the handle huge, heavy tape. Putting it at the feet of the master, the dog lay down immediately, looking fondly eyes on the table. The owner put his paws a whole plateful of sandwiches, and then turned on the tape. The tape began to turn, poured a nice, soothing melody.

The young man involuntarily felt as if nothing disturbing in the surrounding his strange personality was not.

Peace enveloped his colorless mist. As half- asleep, when reality has already disappeared, giving way to dreams, but his mind had not yet left, flashing a weak spark, Stephen saw Daniel cut the cake, he pulls up a bit, pour into a large glass of red as blood wine. He raised his glass and looked at the wine into the light, Steve saw that it shone like a ruby in the sun.

Although the sun is not there. It is set behind the fluffy rain clouds, which made the evening gloom descended on the land before time. Somehow, not thinking more about the glowing wine, Stephen calmly drank it, and immediately felt a slight burning sensation in the mouth. As if the wine was hot, like coffee or tea. But, again, a moment later an unusual feeling disappeared. " Im probably sick and delirious" - thought Steve.

And, indeed, his head was beginning to break up, as happens at high temperature. - Can I water? - The guy is dispersed rubbed his forehead. - Water? Sorry, do not keep in the water. Would you like lemonade?

Obeying the command, scary dog brought into the teeth of an icy bottle of Coca- Cola. Drank from it, not forgetting to wipe with a cloth, which he handed Dan, humid place, remaining after the dogs mouth, Stephen felt better. Coca- Cola had a sobering effect upon him. He realized that a few hours sitting in the company are absolutely unknown to him man, who had long been silent, just looking at him.

Strange looks.

Steve was embarrassed, she looked at the dog, who was staring at the happy owner. - And this dog loves you very much, and listen.

Are not you afraid one day be without a hand? If he suddenly angry . . . Bulterery, they say, is horrible, but this dog seems to be much worse. Daniel laughed, throwing back his head. - What are you, hes my dog, and I am his boss. Can we change places?

Besides, he loves me, and give life, if I want. - And what you love most? - For no apparent reason asked Steve. - Yes, many. Others - hate or fear. Although it is often love and hate are so closely intertwined that it is difficult to develop some of the two dominant feelings in the individual.

And if you take the passion, to her often mixes revulsion. Love is often hard, but still, it all to aspire. - Daniel said slowly, looking into the distance, probably confiding to him their innermost thoughts.

Steve is accustomed to the restraint in relations, especially when talking strangers to each other.

Therefore, he again confused. - You look like an angel - suddenly escaped from Stephen. Having said this, he blushed with embarrassment and quickly shoved into his mouth even a sandwich and reached for the cake, as if to shut his mouth in the literal sense of the word. Dan poured him some more wine, not even turning. Steve was stunned. - How do you see where my glass, and how to guess his edge?

You could pour me a glass of wine, generally not looking at the table! Some focus. Steve felt a slight fear of being misunderstood what happened. - You are wrong - quickly replied Dan. I watched, only peripheral vision. Youre not looking at me, so you and thought.

Or maybe youre already a little drunk. Wine matured. He was more than a hundred years. - Lord Imagine how much did it then there must be! - Guy with involuntary respect looked at his companion. - Can I ask a question incorrect. - Speak up, I promise to keep you alive if you get . . . - Dan smiled, showing that his word - just a joke. - Do you, do you, that is . . .

Steve then a long silence, gathering courage, wondering whether to raise the issue at all. Finally, he decided, the curiosity is too tormented him. You have such an extraordinary person, that it is difficult at first glance to decide to whom it belongs, a woman or a man. - Yes, I already reported by the " good people" . You know, I always thought the beauty of a certain kind of ugliness. - I offended you? - Steve felt like a villain, who in return for their hospitality and a sumptuous dinner accuses his interlocutor that is given from birth and it is difficult to alter. Dans face grew serious in the eyes of clotted blue, splashed sadness.

He was ready to cry - at least so it seemed to Steve.

But, peering intently into his face, he realized that the daylight makes his eyes so shine.

As if they were full of tears.

He did not look at him and stared into nowhere, into one driven by his dark worlds . . . worlds of his thoughts. - Yes, I agree that I look strange . . .

Some of my appearance seem repulsive . . . - Not for me! - Stephen said quickly, not knowing why. I put people in a difficult position: they are painfully slow can not understand how me obraschatsya: Mr. or Miss, often restricted to neutral, like: " Hey, you, or something like that . . . " - I should not say this. I entered tactless. - Stephen said, more than anything else wishing to end this unpleasant conversation. - But honestly. Daniel looked at himself. - Okay, now Im male. - I think you . . .

Very beautiful! - Steve blushed. Ive never seen anyone more beautiful than you - stumbling, he continued to say it, thinking to myself, what does it fly its bite, and not whether she was mad. With a smile, but there was a silence, Dan poured him another glass. Steves last memory about that night was that they were with Dan passionately kissing.

Then he remembered himself standing on the other side of the gate. Deng calmly, coolly, as if nothing unusual had happened, invited him to visit him when he wants.

As he reached the house, and had told him about this mother, left a dark stain. All night I dreamed Steve very bad dreams. The key to his dreams was a fire. He saw the inside of craters of volcanoes, at a time when lava began to erupt. I saw a kernel of distant stars.

He dreamed of countless fires. In his dream he heard the noise of burning wood, the smell of burning flesh.

His mouth was thick, but not the strength to stand up The next morning in their small town there was a case of self- immolation attracted to their small American town a lot of reporters. Purley Atkins, a very pretty girl, the queen of local discos and parties, went to the lake. Beside him, a half- day found her shoes, skirt, blouse and pants in a pile of ashes.

Earth and the grass around the blackened by the intense heat. Ash formed the contours of seductive female body. Woman found only in the teeth.

Meadow - a favorite spot for picnics - fenced in, the police, the FBI scurried around with a bewildered faces. People have the impression that the police had a favorite gesture of shrugging his shoulders, and, idiotically puzzled face. Steve stood in the forefront of the curious. He vaguely remembered his dream, but I tried even in thought not to carry out logical parallels.

He kept his eyes like ashes, like a woman, fanned by the wind as he hastily collected in bags. He almost vomited. In the evening a mysterious force pulled him to the house of a neighbor.

The silence that reigned around him surprised. Such still air usually prevails in cemeteries, or in confined spaces.

There was no audible beeps cars off the road, no chirping of birds, even the rustle of leaves. There was not even the wind.

Raw, gray gloom wrapped in leaves . . . " I guess I have lost his nerve - he thought Steve . - So I think all terrible. The gate swung slowly, but screeched. As if obeying some unknown force, the guy went inside, breathing heavily, quickly walked past the bushes reach out for him ravenous paws - a branch.

The door of the house was open, so much that she had been discovered by someone running away. Anxiety gripped Steve. Concerned for his friend, he immediately ran into the house, instead of what would call him, waiting on the threshold The house was dark. On the street a cloud covered the sky.

Trees scratched on the window, as if sharpening his claws on them.

Squeak, squeak. A spiral staircase leading upstairs.

Steve looked around, opened the kitchen door: washed dishes lay on the shelves, no one.

With her heart beat, mad Steve yelled: " Dan! " And he ran upstairs. When you open the door, Steve fell back sharply, as if almost stepped on a snake. On the bed, prostrate, lay the naked body of Daniel Linens on the bed was of white silk, why all the anatomical details stood out especially clearly.

Narrow hips, white leather, the triangle of hair at the bottom.

Steve felt the heat, flow in all its organs. He suddenly realized that he saw the body of a hermaphrodite.

Under the male members were ruby vagina . . . Dan, as in delirium whispered strange words in Latin. The dog had pushed him onto the bed.

Horrified, he tried to escape, but Dan grabbed him and drew to itself. Hot kiss almost brought a guy crazy. - Help me complete the ritual, otherwise burned and rugi people . . . A lot of people! Steve was beside himself, pounced on the body.

Passion to make his case, the strangeness of the situation, sex, added thrills. But what awaits him then? That same demon, devil spawn, he kills him!

So Steve was trying harder to tire him, kissed and caressed as possible dolshe.

Silnee. Slowing down your orgasm. But the excitement turned stronger.

He finished, and sprawled on the bed exhausted . . .

Thats the end - vaguely thought emu. No Daemon, jumped up, stood on the sill.

The fire burned the house from lightning. From the window came down the heat, where he was Hell. The tall, gleaming gold mountains, steaming volcanoes, emitting smoke and lava flowing down the blood down to black.

Language of light: blue, like a cubbyhole, yellow like the sun, orange like fire . . Demon mounted on the dog became the winged creatures, and fly a farewell glance says a lot about having fun. About love . . .

When the firemen carried the body of Steves house, they noticed with astonishment that it, in spite of the almost completely burned down the house, not a single burn. But when they carried him out through the window, the house a few minutes later completely disintegrated, scattering a pile of coals.