.....for the comment, it has brighten me up knowing some1 understands me, but i must admid it made me crying also. Facing reality isn't always nice, especially when you want it to be otherways, or thinking you would it to be. "They say life is like a mans dick, to hard and always to short" .. (gues they don't count me as a man then hihi ) How do you handel it?? asking those questions every single day not knowing the answers. Kind of sucks, and i can't think of annyone who i can talk abbouth it. But ok that's life i guess (it is always to short so, guess i could cope up for another 50-60 years ) Found also a cover from Rihanna" Umbrella" witch is getting a hit here. Not bad i guess, still love the lyrics................enjoy
21-02-2008, 01:09 geschreven door modig
19-02-2008
not titled...
... it's now 0:40 am and i was kind of working and putting my new laptop into order. Don't felt like i was tired so i thought i would write something in my blogg. Sorry if i don't managed yet to put some pic's on from the game, i douwnloaded them at my office pc so i need to do that at the office(ofcourse ) I kind of feel absent latley (not onley on my blogg) but with my thoughts, hope you understand me what i'm trying to say. I think allot abbouth what i want and the goals i'm trying to get. But sometimes it's hard. It's like every step i take closer to my goals makes me go back two steps. I'm not 100% focussed i think and that's why i mean i'm absent latley. Don't know what it is and i'm trying to figure that out but it's not eassy. Who will give answers to my questions that i have besides the persons who know the answer. I think if i'm honnest with myself i'm yust affraid to ask them because of the answers i will get. Maybe the answers r not that bad ,but what if they r. Could i handel it?? So i'm walking arround in a world of thoughts and illusions for the moment and fantasizing abbouth the answers. May time will tell or will i find enough strengt to ask the questions. Sometimes i wonder if i'm the onley one who think the way i do, or if there r others thinking the same. kind of a strange entrey hé, but like i said yust thinking out loud i guess How do you deal with the choices you make in life? Some of them r essey to fix if you made the wrong choice but others..... they have great changes in life and affects others to, and if you chance the choice you made is it the wright thing two chance it?? (some of you must be thinking i'm crazy hé, well i think i'm becomming ) it's kind of a relieve talking here no1 talking back or arguing with me and it is kind of my chest for the moment. people choud be able to take a brake in life and do whatever they wanne do without consequences or having to make choices but i think that would be a mission impossible hé talk talk talk ..... whining and complaining.... thats me for the moment. I know some people who don't like that but .... ok it's yust for know , when i wake up tommorow i put on my mask again and the world think i'm yust dooing fine like they r used to of me.... they schould know hé.... Maybe it's time to let go of the past..., but i don't want to... i had to much fun then,don't wanne let go, not yet...., maybe never... well enough of the whining sh** , here is a song that i was forgotten for allong time, used to sing it all the time, and suddentley yesterday it came back to me, there r manny differents artists and songs abbouth it but they al meaning the same. Enjoy... SaM
19-02-2008, 01:20 geschreven door modig
14-02-2008
PSV -HIF
Well, tonight (yesterday evening) i went to see the game PSV-HIF. PSV won the game with 2-0 but in mine oppinion it wasn't earned. The pennalty the ref gave psv wasn't really a pennalty , but what can we do abbouth it. Hif got some nice chances to score the first half but.... I was hoping they would score atleast one time so that would be intressting for the game next thursday when psv needs to play at hif. I think Hif is gooing to win next week. So i'll try to put some pic's i have taken during the game on my blogg tomorow (if they where anny good pic's with it)The people who had invited me where teasing me because psv won the game and i tolled them i would prefer if HIF won. So Had a great time but i'm really tired know so Goodnight everry one
Greetz-
14-02-2008, 01:04 geschreven door modig
08-02-2008
it's a cruel world,,
I was a little absent the last few weeks 1 : beacause i have so much work i barley have time to do something else but working. 2 : I have much emotional stuf on my mind.
point 1 i'm not gooing to write much abbouth because i said that several times already that i have much working to do, onley this past few weeks it was a littlebit more than other times.
Point 2 is more of a problem i'm strugeling with now. Emotional problems if it is the wright word i' musing here. it's maybe hard to explain but i'll give it a try. Two friends of mine ar strugeling with cancer for several years now. It is difficult for me to deal with that because i've alreddy lost a friend who had cancer. And one of my other two friends died sunday night at his diseasse. His funeral is tommorow so it's not gooing to be a happy day. i really miss him, he played football in my team so we hang out quiet allot. He was onley 35 years old. it's not fair, but what can we do abbouth it? I guess nothing. He has a son who is 11 yeras old who know is left allone with his mom, terrible thinking abbouth it. My other friend has a brain tumor and is opperated for 5 time's and two weeks ago he got the news the docs could'nt help him annymore and he would life maximum annother 4-5 monts, so i'm not having a great time know thinking abbouth them. People say life go's on, that's true but it is always verry hard losing some1 close. Sometimes i don't know how to deal with the toughts not having them arround annymore. So i will be having this emotional stuf on my mind for a little while i guess. I would say things will get better but i guess that sounds a little selfish at the moment thinking abbouth my friends who will never get better.
.. (gues they don't count me as a man then hihi
) How do you handel it?? asking those questions every single day not knowing the answers.
) 
) I kind of feel absent latley (not onley on my blogg) but with my thoughts, hope you understand me what i'm trying to say. I think allot abbouth what i want and the goals i'm trying to get. But sometimes it's hard. It's like every step i take closer to my goals makes me go back two steps. I'm not 100% focussed i think and that's why i mean i'm absent latley. Don't know what it is and i'm trying to figure that out but it's not eassy. Who will give answers to my questions that i have besides the persons who know the answer. I think if i'm honnest with myself i'm yust affraid to ask them because of the answers i will get. Maybe the answers r not that bad ,but what if they r. Could i handel it??
) it's kind of a relieve talking here no1 talking back or arguing with me
