We told eachother we would meet thursday online. Nothing went like planned that day, I got home too late, and once I was home I couldnt get online, something wrong with my connection. God, I was getting so annoyed. I sent him an sms to tell him I couldnt get online, but he didnt answer immediately, so I thaught perhaps he wasnt alone, shoot, what did I do ?
After about an hour, he phoned me to ask what was wrong, and why I didnt appear online, I told him I couldnt and he was very dissapointed, as was I! We talked a little on the phone and he had to leave. He was unable to get online before monday, because he was leaving for a long weekend with his wife, which he didnt realy wanted to do, but well, we knew we were both taken, and wouldnt leave our partners.
Ten minutes after the call, I tried to get online again, and I did. Yes, but he wasnt online anymore, shoot, he already left. So, I sent him an e-mail, saying perhaps it just wasnt ment to be, everything seemed to work against us
Friday morning I had to work on my computer, and when I got online, he was there, just out of bed, looking wild, very dissapointed about yesterday and felt awfull
he appologised to me and told me he got into a fight yesterday with his wife, because he had me on his mind, he missed me
we both feel the same, but both dont want to ruin what we have, at least I dont , he doesnt seem to be bothered if his wife would leave him, but he wouldnt take the step, unless I do
We talked for a little and then I had company so, again, we were interrupted and couldnt continue talking. He told me he would phone me monday and hoped to see me online again. I told him I didnt know when I would be able, because I had a lot of work to do, and would try to get online
That afternoon, I couldnt hold myself, needed to hear his voice again, so I sent him an e-mail he asked for professionaly, and called him on his mobile. He was in the car, the speaker was on, and I knew by the way he frooze that his wife was sitting next to him and that she could here me, so I introduced myself and told him I was just calling to tell him I sent him the required e-mail
he responded very formel and was very polite, as was I, he asked about the weather in our place and I started to get nerveous, he wished me and my family a fine weekend and so did I
When I hung up the phone, I could kill myself, I sent him an e-mail saying I was sorry for the fuck up and that I just wanted to hear his voice, shoot, what did I do ?
At this moment, I wouldnt wish for anything more than to be with him, Im falling in love with him so hard that I just dont know what to do anymore. I cant help myself, keep thinking of him, butterflies keep going through my body, and I know he feels the same, but I also know we dont have a future together
..do we ?
Two more days, and Im going to see him, or should I just make an end to it, this is going on for too long, and it isnt leading anywhere, we are just making things harder on ourselves, but its stronger than me, I cant help myself
.