Be sure to taste your words before you spit them out.
10-08-2014
Sad Life
My Loneliness is killing me. I'm so sick of feeling sad and lonely and unwanted. I'm losing my fucking mind. Can't drown my demons, they know how to swim. It's like I want to live, but I don't really care if I don't. I've stayed silent my whole life. Take me to the time when things were fine, it's all broken now. Just leave me alone, it's not like you care. The hardest part is waking up in the morning, remembering what you were trying to forget. I'm always the ugly friend. Sometimes, I just want to give up. Everyday is a nightmare, over and over, and over again, replayed in my head. Found my comfort in pain. I have so much to say, but no one to listen.
Confidence is silent. Insecurities are loud. Without great solitude, no serious work is possible. The doors will be opened to those who are bold enough to knock. You are what you do. No what you say you'll do. Make it simple but significant. Never give up. Great things take time. What feels like the end is often the beginning. Never let the stupid drama stress you. Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates. At the first gate, ask yourself : "Is it true?". At the second ask : "Is it necessary?". At the third gate ask : "Is it kind?" Don't worrry about what you can't control. Making one person smile can change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. Dream big, work hard, stay focused and surround yourself with good people. I speak so much better when I'm silent.
Was there ever a more beautiful sound than your name? To speak it aloud
makes my heart ring like a bell. Strange to imagine that, isnt it a
heart ringing but when you touch me that is what it is like: as if my
heart is ringing in my chest and the sound shivers down my veins and
splinters my bones with joy.
Why have I written these words in this book? Because of you. You taught
me to love this book where I had scorned it. When I read it for the
second time, with an open mind and heart, I felt the most complete
despair and envy of Sydney Carton. Yes, Sydney, for even if he had no
hope that the woman he loved would love him, at least he could tell her
of his love. At least he could do something to prove his passion, even
if that thing was to die.
I would have chosen death for a chance to tell you the truth, Tessa, if I
could have been assured that death would be my own. And that is why I
envied Sydney, for he was free.
And now at last I am free, and I can finally tell you, without fear of danger to you, all that I feel in my heart.
You are not the last dream of my soul.
You are the first dream, the only dream I ever was unable to stop myself
from dreaming. You are the first dream of my soul, and from that dream I
hope will come all other dreams, a lifetimes worth.
With hope at least,
Will Herondale
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince
Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can
completely turn your world around. You tell them things that youve
never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and
actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that
will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many
disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful
happens, you cant wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share
in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you
are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do
they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough,
but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that
make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure,
jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around.
You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you
because they love you for who you are. The things that seem
insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become
invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever.
Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid its
like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant.
Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or
didnt exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you
through a long days work and always brings a smile to your face. In
their presence, theres no need for continuous conversation, but you
find youre quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never
interested you before become fascinating because you know they are
important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this
person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring
them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on
the horizon. You open your heart knowing that theres a chance it may be
broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy
that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the
only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure thats so real it
scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and
possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems
completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and
security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.
Hold fast to dreams For if dreams die Life is a broken-winged bird That cannot fly. Hold fast to dreams For when dreams go Life is a barren field Frozen with snow.
But if each day, each hour, you feel that you are destined for me with implacable sweetness, if each day a flower climbs up to your lips to seek me, ah my love, ah my own, in me all that fire is repeated, in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten, my love feeds on your love, beloved, and as long as you live it will be in your arms without leaving mine.
You should date a girl who reads. Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes, who has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.
Find a girl who reads. Youll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. Shes the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she has found the book she wants. You see that weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a secondhand book shop? Thats the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow and worn.
Shes the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because shes kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the authors making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.
Buy her another cup of coffee.
Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyces Ulysses shes just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.
Its easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas, for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry and in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, shes going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.
She has to give it a shot somehow.
Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.
Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who read understand that all things must come to end, but that you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.
Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.
If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. Shell talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.
You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time shes sick. Over Skype.
You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasnt burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.
Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then youre better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.
I knew lovers could break my heart, but Ive never thought friends could.
Sometimes you have to move on without certain people. If they're meant to be in your life, they'll catch up.
Collect good people, truly good people... and protect and love them the best you can.
A big secret for happiness: ignore people who do crappy things to you.
The older I grow, the more I listen to people who don't talk much.
I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person.
The people who love you for who you are and not what you can do for them are the best kind of people.
Never push a loyal person to the point where they no longer give a damn.
I don't care what you think of me. I wasn't born to impress you.
Arguing with a fool only proves that there are two.
I usually give people more chances than they deserve but once I'm done, I'm done.
It's crazy how you can go months or years without talking to someone but they still cross your mind every day.
I want to draw something that means something to someone.
House + love = Home
How can I go forward when I don't know which way I'm facing.
Always be proud of yourself.
What doesn't kill you is gonna leave a scar.
Memories begin with what you thought was a mistake.
Inspire someone today.
Always rise above the drama.
Let's have some tea and talk about happy things.
I'm not doing shit today. Mission accomplished.
Every time you are able to find some humor in a difficult situation, you win.
A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures for anything.
Some things take time.
Everything has beauty.
There's a point in life when you get tired of chasing everyone and trying to fix everything, but it's not giving up. It's realizing that you don't need certain people and their crap.
