My real name is not Mary. But somehow, I feel very connected with Mother Mary. I don't consider myself as being very Catholic. My grandmother was and she visited Lourdes a couple of times. When I was a kid, I had a whole collection of Bernadette-and-Mother-Mary gadgets. Unfortunately, Mother Mary didn't cross my mind for about twenty years. Till recently. I believe I've opened my heart and mind to the strength of her gentle energy.
The big questions in my life about Womanhood have risen in my life. I'll be 30 at the end of March. And I struggle with an inner disconnection between love and sexuality. I dream of having children with my partner. And my partner doesn't. We're not even living together yet. She can't let her own mother go (and her mother can't let go of her daughter). And then there is me... longing so much for a baby in my life, ready for this strong and lifechanging commitment.
I'm being gratefull for all wonderful things in my life. But somehow, I hope Mother Mary will guide me through these challenges. I intend to ask my mother if she wants to join me on a visit to Lourdes, I may get answers overthere. Curious about her reaction.
