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17-01-2010
--I hope you read this and realize how much of a mistake you were in my life, and how much I can't stand you. So this is for you, sweetheart, I hope everything you love falls the fuck apart--
-You know you're in love when you can say anything to the person & you know they won't laugh at you, when you can see their face when you close your eyes, when you can still feel their arms around you holding you tight long after they're gone, when you can still taste their kiss after you have said goodbye. You can tell you're in love when you miss them before they're gone, when their voice lingers in your ears, when their presence eases any pain, when their name sends chills down your spine, when they're the only one you can think about. You know you're in love when you can see all their hopes & dreams & their soul when you look into their eyes, when they call you at four in the morning & say I love you & mean it, when your tears stain not only their shirt but also their heart, when they're hurt just the because of these tears, when even a simple chore done with them can become a lasting memory. Ultimately, you know you're in love when you can't imagine living without them & can't figure how you lived before you knew them, when they fulfil every need & without them you're incomplete, the love of someone else completes the heart & soul & mind all at once.
~Love isn't perfect, It isn't a fairytale or a storybook, and it doesn't always come easy. Love is overcoming obstacles, facing challenges, fighting to be together. Holding on, and never letting go. Love is work. But most of all, Love is realizing that every hour, every minute, every second is worth it. Because we did it together~
-As I've grown, I've learned several things. Life is full of disappointments & people you trusted will sooner or later let you down. I've learned that often those you love will love someone else & there's only one way to fall; fast & hard. I've learned that out of thousands of smiles, it takes one to touch your heart. I've found that words can be deceiving, but the truth always lies in a person's eyes. I've learned that everything can change in the blink of an eye & tears often come without invitation. I've learned crying can make us stronger & there is never too much love to go around. I've learned that prejudice helps no one & that weapons don't hurt people, people hurt people. I've learned sticks & stones may leave cuts and bruises but harsh words leave scars. I've found that every time you give someone a piece of your heart, it's a piece that you will never get back. I've learned the past is meant to be put behind us & we can't dwell on regrets, for what's done is done. I've learned that trusting yourself is the first step & that forgiving is remembering that helps your own heart more then theirs. I've found that family isn't always blood & everyone is someone's hero. I've learned life is unexpected & that God can do anything. I've learned some things aren't meant to be understood & that only time heals. I've found that imagination is our greatest gift & that we are meant to dream for a reason. I've learned it is never too late to fall in love & that being "beautiful" is all on the inside. Mistakes are our best teachers & everything happens for a reason. Only then can you live life to it's full & true potential-
-ik weet dat ik je met duizenden lieve woorden niet terug zal krijgen , & als ik uren om je zou huilen zou dat alleen maar nutteloos zijn , ik weet dat , mijn hoofd weet dat , maar mijn hart kan het niet loslaten ,de vlinders in m'n buik blijven-
~ I wanted to tell him that Ill never be sorry for loving him. That, in a way, I still do, that maybe I always will. Ill never regret a single thing we did together cause what we had was special. Maybe if we were 5 years older it would have worked out differently. Maybe, I think, its just that Im not ready for forever ~
~dear brain, sorry for overloading you with thoughts of him. dear tummy, sorry for all the butterflies. dear pillow, sorry for all the tears. dear heart, sorry for all the damage. dear me, sorry for being head-over-heels in love with him.~
