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karen en lot
ons leven
13-06-2010
I mentioned earlier that I'm not doing well, now I am doing fine, this song helped me a couple of weeks : beyonce- if i were a boy If I were a boy even just for a day I'd roll out of bed in the morning and throw on what I wanted and go ooooohhh
Drink beer with the guys and chase after girls I'd kick it with who I wanted and I'd never get confronted for it 'Cause they stick up for me
If I were a boy I think I could understand How it feels to love a girl I swear I'd be a better man
I'd listen to her 'Cause I'd know how it hurts When you lose the one you wanted 'Cause he's taking you for granted and everything you had got destroyed
If I were a boy I would turn off my phone Tell everyone it's broken So they would think I'm sleeping alone
I'd put myself first And make the rules as I go 'Cause i know that she'd be faithful Waiting for me to come home,to come home
If I were a boy I think I would understand how it feels to love a girl I swear I'd be a better man
I'd listen to her 'Cause I'd know how it hurts When you lose the one you wanted 'Cause he's taking you for granted and everything you had got destroyed
It's too late for you to come back Says it's just a mistake Think I'd forgive you like that If you thought I would wait for you you thought wrong
But you're just a boy you don't understand and you don't understand ,oh how it feels to love a girl someday you wish you were a better man
You don't listen to her You don't care how it hurts Until you lose the one you wanted 'Cause your taking her for granted And everything you had got destroyed But you're just a boy
I mentioned earlier that I'm not doing well, now I am doing fine, this song helped me a couple of weeks : beyonce- if i were a boy If I were a boy even just for a day I'd roll out of bed in the morning and throw on what I wanted and go ooooohhh
Drink beer with the guys and chase after girls I'd kick it with who I wanted and I'd never get confronted for it 'Cause they stick up for me
If I were a boy I think I could understand How it feels to love a girl I swear I'd be a better man
I'd listen to her 'Cause I'd know how it hurts When you lose the one you wanted 'Cause he's taking you for granted and everything you had got destroyed
If I were a boy I would turn off my phone Tell everyone it's broken So they would think I'm sleeping alone
I'd put myself first And make the rules as I go 'Cause i know that she'd be faithful Waiting for me to come home,to come home
If I were a boy I think I would understand how it feels to love a girl I swear I'd be a better man
I'd listen to her 'Cause I'd know how it hurts When you lose the one you wanted 'Cause he's taking you for granted and everything you had got destroyed
It's too late for you to come back Says it's just a mistake Think I'd forgive you like that If you thought I would wait for you you thought wrong
But you're just a boy you don't understand and you don't understand ,oh how it feels to love a girl someday you wish you were a better man
You don't listen to her You don't care how it hurts Until you lose the one you wanted 'Cause your taking her for granted And everything you had got destroyed But you're just a boy
when my phone vibrated i used to hop it was you. now i'm hoping it's you and that you're telling me something good. the changes we make, the things we decide, the conclusions we make, they are what makes us who we are. who we were. i think i am in love with the person i thought you were, so I'm double-messed up, i not only lost my love, i lost my illusion, my friend-who-i-can-always-count-on. Let's just wait and see, who you'll be. i think this i just met somebody, a few hours ago, who is totaly perfect, i see an opportunity, a chance, for a change :) it's perfect, and so is he.
cry over me. feel bad about me. hate yourself for me. 'cause I'm not going to be there to tell you that everything will be fine. it won't,and i won't be there . And you don't want to lose me, because when this is all over, I will be the one person who will want to stay by your side. but not anymore, so, this is not a lovesong, this is goodbye, and ok, we can still be friends, but look at our history, we aren't very good at 'just friends' are we? but I'll give it a shot, because it's you and me right :) but don't blame me when i get over you, and never come back . :)
this is a song I just found, it's really nice, kinda right for this moment , it describes how i feel
Every night I remember that event The way you looked when you said you were leaving The way you cried as you turned to walk away The cruel words and the false accusations The mean looks and the same old frustrations I never thought that we'd throw it all away But we threw it all away.
And I'm a little bit lost without you And I'm a bloody big mess inside And I'm a little bit lost without you This aint a love song this is goodbye (oooooh) This aint a love song this is goodbye (ooooh)
I've been lost, I've been losing I've been tired, I'm all hurt and confusion I've been mad, I'm the kind of man that I'm not I'm going down, I'll be coming back fighting I may be scared and a little bit frightened But I'll be back, I'll be coming back to life I'll be coming back to life
they are fake, they are bitches , they are a living commercial for beauty-products, they are always orange, their boobies are blown up (fake bras) to make a loooong list of my frustrations short : we hate them. they know we do. But still everybody acts like they love them 'nwly Bi-atch' (why do you think they call each other that way? because they know they are!) why do we act like that? we want to be part of it all? the parties? the boys? the clan? the being better than somebody else? GUESS not yuo are way better off with your real friends. friends that will DUMP you if you don't get over yourself and over the army of skanks, stop hanging out with them and acting like that's fine. Or I will... you know you love me, nwly-shit karen ow, I think you know this message is for you.
I still remember the feeling when I was a year of 12, i felt terrible. Things changed, not only my surrounding. Not only the people around me. Even I was changed. Goodbye stupid stories with my barbies as actors. What's happened with the innocent jokes I made? Then people laugh with them, now, I cannot make them anymore, because that's what little childs do. My mum and dad say that I'm a big girl now, and that I don't used to do all those childish things.
I wrote this a few months ago, and I had forgotten to poste it.
'Illusions are like balloons, once punctured and there is nothing left. You can try to blow them back, but you can't. Illusions are like balloons, if you have too much balloons you'll fly. Illusions are like balloons, they look so beautiful, but they only exist of air. Illusions are like balloons, once you have to let them fly away.'
What does this word «love» means? Love has been described as the greatest need humans have. From the cradle to the grave, people strive after love, thrive in its warmth, even pine away and die for lack of it. Nonetheless,it is surprisingly difficult to define. Of course, people talk a lot about love. There is an endless stream of books, songs and poems about it. The results do not always clarify the meaning of love. The true meaning seems ever more elusive.
I found a lot of inspiration in 'One Tree Hill'. Here are a few quotes:
You ever heard the expression 'The best things in life are free.' Well that expression is true.' Every once in a while, people step up they rise above themselves sometimes they surprise you and sometimes they fall short. Life is funny sometimes. It can push pretty hard but if you look close enough, you can find hope in the words of children, in the bars of the song and in the eyes of someone you love. And if you're lucky, if you're the luckiest person on this entire planet, the person you love decides to love you back.
"You know it's been said that we just don't recognize the significant moments of our lives while they're happening. We grow complacent with ideas, or things or people and we take them for granted and it's usually not until that thing is about to be taken away from you that you realize how wrong you've been, that you realize how much you need it, how much you love it."
There comes a time when every life goes off course. In this desperate moment you must choose your direction. Will you fight to stay on the path while others tell you who you are? Or will you label yourself? Will you be honored by your choice? Or will you embrace your new path? Each morning you choose to move forward or to simply give up.
"There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroads. The choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days."
if there was a sign, a mark ,a signal ... that you could see when somebody really loves you back, what would it be? a smile? most people only smile with their mouth, a formal , posed smile you see on christmass-cards and group photos ,but when somebody is truly happy or in love, they laugh with both eyes and mouth.
a look? as I quote Kate Nash 'The nicest thing' : I wish you'ld never forget the look on my face when we first met. Is there a special look a person has when they find their lover? a wink, a blink and that's it? what if you miss the first look, right?
a touch? other people say that when you love a person you want to touch them, you can't help yourself, (and not in the pervy way, that's just an excuse for pervs) you stroke 'accidentally' their cheek, bump into them in the hallway/office...
A kiss? A first kiss is something you never forget, or you shoudln't , and I'm not talking about the first kiss in your life, because little children kiss all the time and the first time I kissed, I was very drunk, I try not to remember every day :) , but the first kiss in a relationship with a person you love, That is what really is important . So think about somebody you dated, the last relationship you had, do you remeber? then it was true love, and could you describe it where, when, it was, in guestbook.?
I say it is everything at once, even if this sounds stupid : I think you just have to feel it when you're ready. And you knwo what, fuck 'The One' theory, I have been in love once, and I'm planning to be in love again, and it doesn't have to be the same person, right? If it is, great, but if it isn't, move on,live your life and have fun, I'm about to throw myself in the game, secretly hoping I don't get hurt, anyway you'll get the end of this story I promise, just wait and see :) xoxo karen
We all know the feeling of happiness. Happiness comes in many forms, in the smiles of children, in the feeling you look in the eyes of someone you love, meeting a old friend again after you've been separated,... People long for happiness, they search it every second of their lives. Because they don't want to live without it. But happiness isn't always that big, you have to find it in small things, and once you found it, you don't want to let go. Me neither, I just found something, or better, someone, who makes me happier than ever. And i'm not going to let go.
long time no blog, a friend of mine reminded me. Sorry, is was busy, have this major tests coming up... My point being: I'm sorry for not talking to you. We all want our future to be the fairy tale we heard about, we work our asses of for what? A happely ever after, that's right! studying, going to college, finding boyfriends, making new friends, keeping old friends, we do it, because we want what's best for ous, living for tommorow. I am living for today, enough about 'what am I going to do?' 'If I found myself a boyfriend?' I am living, breathing, talking about today, screw you future-guysè :D the more I am doing this, the happier I get, and you knwo what, I do get good grades, and I might just found the right duy, and all this without worrying about how I xould handle it. So just recoriding a track for all the bitches out there, shaking there ass like they just don't care, enjoy... while you can ;)
i had my time, i had my glorie, we had our moments we have our memories, does this mean you're moving on? i am not sure if i want you to. have you ever got the feeling your life would have been totaly diferent (better) when you idd something a little earlier? the 'wath if's are killing me, we were happy, and now, you are happy for both of us. is it selfish wanting to go back in time, stopping myself from killing the future,? every day i wake up and wonder if i am dreaming this, a nightmare that never ends. in my head we're still together, in reality I broke up, for reasons that don't make sence anymore. It seems that I am replaceable, but is she still the one? knowing you'll love her more then you ever loved me, I wish I could say she didn't love you back the way I did, but honestly, she never will, no matter how hard I try , things will never be the same, kissing her changed the life we have, or will have , I hope you love her, and that you are happy, because in any other way, I wouldn't survive the day
Everyone has got this feeling once, you have someone who loves you, but you think you see him as a friend, but when you think you gonna lose him, you begin to wonder if he wasn't more than just a friend. Well, i have this now.
'I just don't know what i feel right now. I know that you're way too good for me & that you'll never hurt me. But i don't know what i want, but please, in a mean time, you can't leave me, because if you do, i would be a mess. I feel way too much for you, but also way too less.
One thing is sure, i love you, but i just haven't figure the way i do out.'
I wish I could give you a magic wand, to turn everything like it was before. To give you your luck back. But sorry, i'm not a wizard or a fairy. I just want you to be happy, I only want to give some of my luck to you. But I guess this is how it suposse to be, you've to move on, but don't forget, i'll be next to you to survive the storm.
enjoy it
reminded me about my biggest dream when I was a little girl (yeah, I know, I was kinda vain) : 
