It's been about two months, or has it been longer? Whatever, way too long. I finally found the motivation and the time to write something again. I don't know where to start, because I have no clue where I stopped. However, it's not important. I might even tell you more than before..
My Erasmus adventure already ended almost two months ago. So here I am, being back in Belgium, back to the normal life. And how does that feel? It feels hard! I miss it, I miss everything. It's hard to explain what you learn in these few months away, but I feel it. It's hard to fit again. I was gone, and people just lived their life. One day you come back, everyone wants to see you and meet up with you again and after a week it feels like you've never been gone.
The first thing I wanted to do when I was back in Belgium was visit my grand parents. I was home around Christmas, so family meeting after family meeting, telling your story every time. I liked it, don't take me wrong. But the more I was telling it, the more I realized it ended and it would never come back. If I look back to my Erasmus and have the change to do it all over again, I would handle it differently. I was pretty scared the first weeks, feeling a bit lonely and tired. I didn't party that much, until mid-October. Then I finally started to enjoy myself, party (sometimes too hard) and start to let myself fall in love..
Well, what is an Erasmus without some interesting love stories?! Telling yourself you would never have a long distance relationship, but fall in love, again, after too much holding back. It felt so good, and it still does. His name is Sacha, French-Canadian, engineer student and the guy that stole my heart, slowly. Like everyone around me, I ask myself sometimes how we can handle it. But I realize fast that future can't be predicted. Change is the only constant in life, so why not enjoy every tiny thing while you can?! It took me some years to realize it, but I finally feel complete. I allow myself to feel relax, to enjoy something, to smile and to cry, even if it's stupid. Well, it feels nice to know someone is supporting you and is there for you, every day, no matter how far! And you know what is the good thing about a long distance relationship, you enjoy each other every second while you are together, because nothing else matters. You get to see beautiful places, you learn to trust someone, you learn to bond in a different way. I would never have thought that I would and up in a relationship after Erasmus and I would never have thought it would make me this happy!
Back to Belgium, back to reality! It's weird to be back. I don't like it, to be honest. I feel lonely and bored, like nothing is the same anymore. My boyfriend told me that things and people here probably didn't change that much, I did. And probably he's right. I got used to live my own life, to be independent and to do whatever I wanted. I can be like that here, in Ghent, and I really like this place, but I miss something. It seems stupid. I love the people around me and I love how the enjoy themselves, but I am more looking from the outside than living with them. You know what changed inside me, I found peace. I build my own life, still exploring all my options, but I am not so scared anymore to live on the edge and take a risk. Because what I've learned, is that every decision you didn't make, every risk you didn't take, you regret. And why live with regrets if life's too short to waste?!
PS I want to thank everyone I met on my adventure, especially my boyfriend for making the special adventure a bit more special and my housemate, Siri, for giving me the motivation to write this blog message (and new ones)! Thank you!