I owe you quite a lot, being silent for two weeks. My mind can't even remember all the things that I've been doing. I have to dig deep , and it already puts a smile on my face. Let's go back in time, three weeks to be exact!
Well, being back from a wonderful trip in Sweden with wonderful guys makes you think about your life. What am I aiming for? What do I want to achieve? What do you want to do for your whole life? I am 21 for god sake, how should I know what I want to do for the rest of my life. We even have to face this question sooner, at the age of 18 when we decide to go working or to go to university. So many options, so many possibilities, but what leads our decision at that moment? Your mind influenced by people and things surrounding you. But what if that leaves, what if you change and the people around you change? What if you find another goal in life that suits you more at this time? Can you throw it all away? Don't be afraid, I am not thinking about quitting and run away from my life, even though a few people asked me already why I just don't quit and explore the world. I start doubting what I am doing and where I am heading at.
Being abroad makes you realize a lot. You realize what a great life you have at home, even though it takes all your time and energy away. Sometimes it was too much, running from one point to another. But it's a decision one makes to taste the most in life. But these choices always make you forget the other, greater, bigger things in life. And that is what I realize here. There is so much more than Belgium, Gent, my town. But on the other hand, there is never a more important thing than family and friends, and you only find them home. Thus, of course I am coming back. Too much people I miss (and people that miss me :D), so much things I am missing out on. The routine, the safe feeling of home, the love. But I am losing direction with all of this emotional stuff. What am I been up to, next to all the 'realizing-stuff'?
I finally went to Ikea to eat meatballs! The first thing to start with is food, great job Annelies! Well, I love food, I can't hide it anymore (thank you, trip buddies, for always making that very clear). I am getting fat, but not too fat (I hope). But it's the perfect way to get through the dark, rainy and cold days, and to date the good guys ;) It's actually not that bad here. The sun was shining the last weeks. Of course we had some rainy days, but that's the same in Belgium. The weather was even that good that I took a jump in the -ice cold- sea. Blue and frozen toes as a consequence, but it felt pretty good. I join everything that can make this adventure a bit more special, especially to show you I might be a bit crazy and weird, like people think of me.
Two weeks ago I had some visitors :D My uncle, his girlfriend and their goddaughters visited me in Aarhus. It felt very good to see a familiar face again and get a good good hug from the family. And of course, they brought a bit of Belgium to me: chocolate, cookies and nutella! :D We spend some evenings together (ending up eating of course) and we visited 'Den Gamle By'. This is the old time, an open air 'museum' with all typical old houses which you could visit. Afterwatds we came home for a nice slice of cake of my Canadian friend: Maplesyrup cake! Sweeet, sweet delicious!Perfect. (Mange tak, Sacha) Starting the Friday night like that was perfect. Dormparty with some drinks and talks, perfect to start your weekend. And a perfect weekend it was. I spent the day at the harbor in the sunshine and good company, ending the day with the dilemma of going to a Halloween party or not! I ended up on one of the Halloweenparties. It was a long long night with a lot of fun and mystery. You'd love Halloweenparties if you'd know ;)
Last week was tiring! Starting the day at 8.30 am in library, leaving at 3 pm to end up in the dark one hour later. It is so depressing to see the weather changing. The darkness outside at 4.30 pm makes me want to stay inside and watch a movie instead of joining my friends on the international night. But I managed to get out of my room to study at night in the state's library. Well, studying.. Sitting with 5 friends, enjoying free food, cooking, tea and coffee. It's hard to call that studying,b ut still - honestly - we did some studying after visiting the top floor of the building to enjoy Aarhus by night. And I can ensure you, that is motivating! On Friday I went to the Moesgarden Museum with my friends. It's amazing what people can create and make history interesting to see. Afterwards it was party time, twice. But with great responsibility in enjoying comes the requirement of studying. This weekend it was really hard to find some motivation to do that. Tired of all the pressure, assignments, the 'musts'.. I've been studying for four years now. I've been studying hard, not enjoying the things I should have. And then in a weekend like this, I question what I am doing and why! I even started to get sad while thinking of going back home. That moment of getting in the car/train back to Belgium frightens me somehow. Not because I don't want to come back (I'd loved to!!), but because of all the people and memories I have to leave here. I've been homesick, I've been searching my way to feel 'home' and now that I finally found it, I start realizing I have to let this go again. So I try to hug, talk and laugh as much as possible. Fortunately hope is always the thing that keeps your head up!
To date, the 'why'-question is still in my head, but now with a smile. Ending your weekend with a perfect, intimate concert makes me relaxed. A good ending gives you a great start of the new week.
Last but not least, I have to thank you for still reading this.
Mange kyss!
