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	How I spend my summer.
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A teenage life

Mijn tienerleven

15-08-2013

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How I spend my summer.

Summer. The time when you think you'll do anything you want.

That you'll exercise to get a fit body.

Or tan.

Well, I succeeded in one of those things.

Let me tell you how I spend my summer.

The first week I didn't do anything but lay on my bed and watch shows on my laptop.

Like Teen Wolf.

My friend is crazy about them so I decided to give it a shot.

I LOVE TEEN WOLF.

I couldn't help myself.

I watched an entire season in a week.

That show is so amazing.

I've started to watch other shows too.

Like Twisted, The Fosters & Awkward.

I'm obsessed.

I hardly did anything in the first few weeks of summer.

But then, on the 23th of July, I took the train too Brussels.

Where I met a few of my friends, and a whole bunch of new ones.

Last year I went to Hungary with my bi friend Maya.

But unfortunatly she didn't came along to Spain :(

But that didn't stop me!

So I knew a couple of them like Vicky, Nick and Samantha.

And on the bus I discovered another few, like Charlotte (I hate her), Tiara and her sister Akira.

Two years ago I went on vacation in Italy, and Tiara and Akira were there.

For the record, I go on vacation with a group from an organisation (Joetz).

So yeah.

I also knew the monitors from last year. Praise the lord!

So yeah, we had to be on the bus for like 16 hours.

I sat next to Nick, but I couldn't handle him so I send him away.

So for most of the trip, I sat alone.

I mean, Samantha sat next to me for like an hour or 2, and Vicky sat to me for a couple of hours.

But yeah, I slept alone. Which was great, by the way.

I had my own blanket and cushion so I was good.

--So far the trip--

-Rebecca.

15-08-2013 om 16:05 geschreven door Diamond

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13-08-2013

Summer love.

Dear Arthur,

we had a great time in Spain.

From the moment I met you, I thought I won the jackpot.

You were so amazing, and I thought you were cool.

But you're not.

You wear sandals, for crying out loud.

I know I'm being selfish.

But I wanna date someone hipper than you.

You were not what I expected.

I liked you.

But it was nothing more than a summer love.

And I'm afraid that's what you are.

A summer love.

Nothing more.

I would lying if I said I felt attracted by you.

'Cause I don't.

Not anymore.

I'm so sorry.

You are going to hate my guts.

And I completly understand that.

But we are done.

In my heart, you mean nothing to me.

I am so sorry.

I hope that one day you'll understand this.

I'm only going to break your heart.

So, I'll let you break mine.

You are better off without me.

-Rebecca.

13-08-2013 om 15:50 geschreven door Diamond

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A new identity.

Sometimes I wish that I could have a do-over.

That I could force my parents to live in America.

That I could be raised in a big house, with loads of money.

And that I could be a smoking hot cheerleader.

Or a super smart kid who is beautiful.

'Cause let's face it, I'm ugly as shit.

Maybe I shouldn't be watching all these shows and movies.

They only make me depressed.

'Cause they remind me of the life I'll never get.

Honestly, people in America should be proud!

I live in the smallest country in Europe.

Nothing to be fucking proud at.

From all the countries in the world, my parents HAD to be here.

DESPERATE.

I just want to escape reality.

Reality sucks.

-Rebecca.

13-08-2013 om 15:28 geschreven door Diamond

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Boyfriend 2.

My boyfriend wants to hang out.

I have to make all kinds of excuses for why I can't.

Or I can just ignore him.

He wanted to see me the day before yesterday.

I ignored him for a whole day.

Does that makes me cruel?

Probably.

But desperate times calls for desperate messures.

I just don't want to see him.

Why, you may ask?

'Cause he's boring as hell.

I just can't stand him, urgh.

Now he wants to meet up on Thursday.

Oh hell no!

Just going to ignore him until Friday.

He's leaving to France for a week.

Yay me!

Now I don't have to worry about him for another week.

-Rebecca.

13-08-2013 om 15:24 geschreven door Diamond

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12-08-2013

Hot guys.

I wish two hot guys would fight for me.

You know, like in the movies.

But I guess faith isn't at my side.

The only type of guys who fall for me are nerds.

I mean, I like nerds, but uhm, not like that.

Oh god, I wish I lived in America or England.

That would be so cool.

I could've been a cheerleader.

Probably not.

Or date a super hot guy.

Probably not.

LIFE ISN'T FAIR.

-Rebecca.

12-08-2013 om 20:12 geschreven door Diamond

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Pathetic.

Sometimes it's messy inside my head.

I can't think straight.

Do I make it difficult for myself?

The answer to that question is: yes.

I have a boyfriend who cares about me.

So, why don't I like him?

I mean, the way he likes me.

Why do I make things complicated?

Why can't I be like everyone else?

Oh god.

I AM PATHETIC.

-Rebecca.

12-08-2013 om 19:17 geschreven door Diamond

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Highschool.

Highschool. Oh yes, the place that no one wants to be remembered to.

This year is going to be different. I am going to change myself.

I have decent clothes now.

I'll put my hair up.

I am going to change myself even more.

I'll be nicer to other people.

I will study hard, so that I can graduate highschool.

Two more years of highschool, and then I'm done.

School begins over exact twenty days.

I have to get my books on the 29th.

Change is good.

I can feel it.

Everything will be different for now on.

-Rebecca.

12-08-2013 om 19:13 geschreven door Diamond

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My mom.

My mom is probably the greatest mom on the planet.

I know, sometimes she can be pretty annoying. But so can I.

She's always there for me, whenever I need her.

I just really love my mom.

I don't really have a band with my older sisters and my dad,

so it's nice to have someone like her.

Dear mom,

I know I can be a pain in the ass.

But I just want you to know,

that you'll always be my number one hero.

I love you, and nothing will change that.

I don't want you out of my life,

even when you're old and annoying.

I LOVE YOU.

-Rebecca.

12-08-2013 om 16:39 geschreven door Diamond

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Bitches love cake.

Bitches. You have them in all kinds of sorts.

Tall bitches. Small bitches. Fat bitches. Ugly bitches.

I think I'm making myself clear (:

I HATE BITCHES.

Kinda ironic, giving the fact that I'm a bitch.

No, I'm not.

I'm just misunderstood.

I'm actually nice.

A good person.

WHY DOES NO ONE SEEM TO SEE THAT?

-Rebecca.

12-08-2013 om 14:57 geschreven door Diamond

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Romance.

I want this too. I wanna feel loved.

I wanna feel the excitment that people get when they see their true love.

I don't have that.

Maybe I'm being a bitch. Selfish. Arrogant.

Who gives a damn?

I am me. Me. Me. Me.

Oh god, I really sound crazy. Don't I?

But is it crazy that I wanna be loved?

Maybe I am being loved by him.

Maybe.

Maybe not.

He said it himself. He never had a girlfriend before.

So basically, he's just using me?

Or am I being paranoid.

Perhaps.

This is just what I want.

I wanna feel love.

LOVE.

-Rebecca.

12-08-2013 om 14:52 geschreven door Diamond

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Blogging.

Blogging.

A simple word.

Eight letters.

But.

No one is reading.

Never.

Ever.

-Rebecca.

12-08-2013 om 14:47 geschreven door Diamond

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Drowning.

I just feel the need to express my feelings.

Don't you?

Why is everything so god damn complicated?

Even now, when I'm feeling okay.

I just seem to be destroying myself.

My thoughts are keeping me hostaged.

I feel like I'm drowning, but there is no water.

What did I do to deserve this?

How can I feel different.

Different.

I am different.

Not in a good way, I suppose.

I'm just rambling right now.

Oh god, why?

12-08-2013 om 14:43 geschreven door Diamond

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Depressed?

The whole world is a mess. Everyone is a mess.

Why can't we live a happy life?

Why does everyone feel the need to break us down?

No, I'm not depressed.

I'm just wondering.

Why is life being a bitch?

-Rebecca.

12-08-2013 om 14:40 geschreven door Diamond

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Addictions.

I'm a really big fan/obsessed (of) about everything.

Harry Potter. Twilight Saga. The Hunger Games.

Other movies. Fast food. One Direction.

Demi Lovato. Selena Gomez. Miley Cyrus.

My bed. My laptop. My iPod. My phone.

So, like yeah. Addicted.

Older people might not understand this, but this is just the way things are.

I am a sixteen year old girl, and girls of my age are obsessed.

We like hot guys, we like emotional movies, or food.

I don't want to grow up without any of this.

I am proud to say that I'm a teenager. I don't want that to end.

'Cause what do you have after the teenage fase?

Nothing. Only a sad face because you had to leave this all behind.

Age really does matter in this case.

When you're eighteen, the fun stops.

In heart, you may be the smallest kid on the block.

But in reality, you have to learn how to drive, you have to go to college or work already.

You have to start your own life.

And that scares me.

I like the security I have right now.

I don't have a job, I can't drive, etc.

This is the best part of your life.

Being a teenager.

It's sad that so many people had to give this up way to early.

-Rebecca.

12-08-2013 om 12:20 geschreven door Diamond

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Unsolved issues

I have some unsolved issues, and being in a relationship is one of them.

When I was a kid, I lost two friends. Best friends.

When I was eleven, my parents decided that they didn't wanted to go to that church again.

Ever again.

I cried. Nights. Days. Months. Years. I cried.

Five years later, it's safely to say that I'm over it.

I have contact with them, and I accepted it.

I'm moving on.

Maybe that's just what most people have to do.

Moving on.

-Rebecca.

12-08-2013 om 12:11 geschreven door Diamond

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Boyfriend.

Giving the fact that no one is reading this, and that my identity is hidden I can talk about everything I want.

So as you have noticed from the title, I have a boyfriend.

It's the truth, I, the unbelievable and incredible weird girl, has a boyfriend.

I met him on vacation, in Spain. He's also from Belgium, by the way.

He's really sweet and thoughtfull, and I thought he could possibly be "the one".

I know it was way to early to decide that, but hey. Who cares?

And I've been dating him for about 2 weeks now. (:

I hate him.

I mean, I don't literally hate him. I just...

He's driving me crazy!

Urgh, god. I want attention from him, but then again. He ALWAYS wants to be with me.

A girl needs god damn space, you know?

I don't want to break his heart, but I know myself.

This isn't going to last forever.

What in the world am I going to do?

Heartbreaker. Over and out.

-Rebecca.

12-08-2013 om 00:14 geschreven door Diamond

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Teenage girl.

Hi, it's me again.

That's another problem of me.

When I first discover something, I get obsessed.

I wanna do it constantly. Not talking about "it".

Like blogging, for example.

I know that no one is listening, no one is paying attention to this blog.

But hey, I'm over here. I'm not going anywhere.

I hope I don't give this up.

This might be something I can use.

I'd love to spread the word out. To talk about myself.

'Cause you know. Who is reading this stuff anyway?

-Rebecca.

12-08-2013 om 00:06 geschreven door Diamond

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Being Rebecca.

I'm always over excited.

I'm weird.

I have a temper.

I like to think I'm someone that I'm not.

I like to laugh.

I like to cry.

I can be selfish.

I like to be sweet and helpful.

I'm a teenage girl.

Deal with it.

-Rebecca.

12-08-2013 om 00:02 geschreven door Diamond

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