Afraid of being alone
want to run away
to a far away country.
Never look back
to no one.
Because no one is really
there for you.
Ive had hope in humans
but my hope is fading away.
I now, more and more
realize that Im alone.
No one there to save me
from loneliness.
No one to save me
from my desperate thoughts.
No one who gets me.
They all say, Its the best.
Id rather be alone,
No one to cheer me up.
Nobody to tell me what to do
and especially no one
whos always nagging
about things I really
dont care right now.
I wanna be alone, but then
again, Im afraid off it.
Lifes hard, too hard.
The time
has come, it's been to long.
Always staying in the same place, not a nice future ahead.
Just questions, why, what if, what else?
There are people with me and people against me.
Should I be egoistic? Can I for just once think about me and put myself in the
first place?
Should I follow my heart or my instinct that tells me to get out of there.
Decisions you hate to make, but you still gotta make em, how much you even hate
it.
Isnt there somewhere a little black door? which you can use to escape reality?
No, of course there isnt.. Who would come up with a foolish idea of a little
escape door.
One that you can only use 3 times in your life.
I wouldve already lost 2 times.
First when my daddy died and 4 months later when my best friend took the last way
out.
I still miss them and I really want to know what they would have thought.
What good advice they would give me.In
fact: I dont need a long time to know that my
dad would have always stayed behind me.
What dumb decisions I make or what boyfriend I would bring home .
He would have wanted only the best for me, even if he didnt like him.
But what the fuck am I talking about..
Ill never know what my dad would think about my bfs, hes probably laughing
at me from up there.
Hes probably even screaming the answer, but I still cant hear him.
I can only think of him and try not to forget him.
why does life has to be so hard?
Because its part of the deal? Or because you have to make mistakes to become a
grown up person.
To realize what life is all about..
Maybe life isnt hard, maybe it seems hard because of all the emotions we
share.
Because were humans with real feelings,maybe its because we dont want to hurt someone else?
But is it so terribly wrong, just for once, doing your own thing?
Not thinking about what the rest feels?
Just dont have to be careful with what you say.
Just for once having an own opinion?
Just doing what you really want to do and dont have to be afraid of peoples
reactions.
Isnt that what they always say? Live your life to the fullest
Get out of life what you can
Life is what you make out of it
