Irreality for Dummies
The FUN way to handle life!
03-10-2006
Klik hier om een link te hebben waarmee u dit artikel later terug kunt lezen.Nuthin'

There was no post on the third of October because Saan fell asleep behind her schoolbooks.

03-10-2006 om 00:00 geschreven door Saan  


02-10-2006
Klik hier om een link te hebben waarmee u dit artikel later terug kunt lezen.Late and short due to plotting
This post is late for a school day, and short too.
Partly because Saan spent her afternoon motivating her sister to do her homework (Behold this mind-boggling logic: "27 has only two numbers by which it can be divided: 1, 3, 9 and 27"). Partly because she spent thirty minutes staring at the SP-LJ's update (Tyler with firepoi doing a three-beat wave, 'cause WW asked please-ly). Partly because Saan is thinking about doing something about her empty school diary (Tyler with firepoi, a few chibis, a few photos, a little word-art, maybe some of itcolored by Yif if Saan asks please-ly enough?). And she wants to see how easy gimp is with macramé string (but where did she leave hers?). And then there's the idea of setting her dad's GPS system voice to Japanese while he's not looking, muahahahaha.

02-10-2006 om 22:17 geschreven door Saan  


01-10-2006
Klik hier om een link te hebben waarmee u dit artikel later terug kunt lezen.Back!

Okay, after yesterday's mass data move, Saan's back. The reason why she was still shifting files around late in the evening was that she'd been to the annual fall event at her old/her sis' school. She'd taken her poi to make the wait for her friends shorter (there is a movie of Saan using them. And of Elly getting them tangled. Somewhere. Heck, there's probably two. Go ask one of the Art teachers in her old school for the disk.) and managed to not-smack the grownups in the face, so no one told her to stop it. She'd even won something, but donated it to the younger sister of someone she knew. Colored sand might be pretty, but it's also pretty useless. The milkshakes were nice, though. Then there was the bright idea to allow herself to get painted. Later, she and her friends shocked people in ''T Wit Huis' by showing up with hearts and flowers all over their faces, though the people deep-frying everything thought it was pretty amusing. Forgetting about having their faces painted caused Elly to wonder why the heck her fingers had turned purple (and why her food tasted so make-up-y, too). Later experimenting proved that the paint came off better with Saan's bottle of Lipikar than with ordinary water and soap. By the time they'd stumbled back to Saan's house (momentary holdup at the half past ten ice cream van while wondering if french fries, lemonade and milkshakes went well with ice cream and cherries) Elly remembered she had to be at a bus stop about a mile off. So Saan's mom gave a lift, since Elly was tired. Yif declined politely for one for her because she had a bike parked at Saan's.

Now go enjoy the pretty heat storm outside!

01-10-2006 om 22:15 geschreven door Saan  


30-09-2006
Klik hier om een link te hebben waarmee u dit artikel later terug kunt lezen.Excuse #6: Data Transfer
Saan has a tiny harddisk of 27 GB. So she hasn't much room for things like movies. Her brother however, has an external harddisk of 300 GB. And he's not home. So Saan's hogging about 5 GB from his disk for a few days. Sad part is: transferring files takes long and makes the pc go slow. So Saan's typing real slow to make sure she doesn't get typos in this thing, since the letters are lagging. Check back tomorrow.

30-09-2006 om 22:42 geschreven door Saan  


29-09-2006
Klik hier om een link te hebben waarmee u dit artikel later terug kunt lezen.*Happy Dance Moment*
Saan's doing a little happy dance behind her pc at the moment due to no homework except for the Potato Project for the first three days of the week, the upcoming fall festival and a whole Wednesday of No School! So there's time for:
 -friends (verrry important)
 -poi (enthusiasm will probably have dampened some after an hour of still not getting the alternate butterfly right) 
 -sleeping late with no three am wakeup call from the hair dryer (*locks herself up in room*)
 -writing stuff that's not for the blog (So far that one sucks and it won't get any better due to monthly transfer limit approaching and a Favor Owed)
 -considering going back to her embroidery for a few minutes (She's stuck. Poor her.)
 -the Potato Project (MS Word Table wrestling, advanced level)
 -Figuring out what to do about the T-shirt (XXXL. It makes for comfy jammies, though)

29-09-2006 om 21:33 geschreven door Saan  


28-09-2006
Klik hier om een link te hebben waarmee u dit artikel later terug kunt lezen.Mathemathical Inspiration
Klik op de afbeelding om de link te volgen

Maths was boring today, Saan had a scrap of paper lying about, this is what came out. There is a Special Edition Paint Shop Pro Version, which I won't be posting due to absolute horridness and hippie patterns. This didn't take long to scan because Saan's brother scanned it in for her and his pc does not eat scans for breakfast.

28-09-2006 om 21:39 geschreven door Saan  


27-09-2006
Klik hier om een link te hebben waarmee u dit artikel later terug kunt lezen.Cookies
Cookies are strange things. They're bad for you, but everyone eats them. There's dozens of kinds of 'em, and they're all different. And some of them (or those in Saan's house) have super powers (Special thanks to Philou for this idea), such as: teleportation, invisibility, mind-control and auto-multiplication when eaten or liked. Allow Saan to elaborate on this theory.

Teleportation: They were in the cookie-cupboard a minute ago. Now they're on Saan's brother's desk/in her father's car/mother's schoolbag/sister's mouth and no one knows how they got there. Disappearance at point A, reappearance at point B. Can occur with entire boxes, snack packs or single cookies.

Invisibility: Last night, there were two full boxes left. Now, both boxes are gone, and there's just this wee little package left, hidden in a faraway corner. No one knows where they're now. Disappearance at point A, no reappearance whatsoever. Or Saan's got a problem with invisible mutant rats that eat cardboard, plastic wrappers and large amounts of chemical conservants, colorants and flavors without leaving crumbs and show no interest in things like bags of flour or sugar. Sometimes the box does reappear, in the wastebasket, neatly folded, with the top and bottom torn open. If it's mutant rats, they're neat freaks.

Mind-control: When looking for a snack, Saan tells herself she'll eat one Oreo and leave the rest for after her schoolwork. Three snack-packs later, she's still munching away while a tiny voice in the back of her mind keeps suggesting she take 'one more'.

Auto-Multiplication:
When Eaten: This happens mostly with adults. They eat one 50 gr cookie a day, and still manage to gain more weight than the actual cookies together by the end of the month. Keeping in mind that according to the laws of chemistry you cannot gain or lose mass during a reaction, auto-multiplication is the only explanation.
When Liked: This happens to kids. They find a new kind of cookie, usually one that was eaten at a friend's house, eat it and go 'Hey, this isn't that bad' within earshot of an adult. Three days later, there's five family packs of the new treat sitting with the groceries, and both mother and father insist they did not buy them when their significant other asks.

That being said, Saan's gonna eat one more Prince Mini Star (black and white variety) and go wash her hair.

27-09-2006 om 21:44 geschreven door Saan  


26-09-2006
Klik hier om een link te hebben waarmee u dit artikel later terug kunt lezen.If I regret this in the morning, I'm blaming PMS
PMS brings on strange cravings for some women, most of them not so good for the accompanying cramps. Saan could just sum it up with one word for her: Easter. You see, Easter, just like the premenstrual syndrome, is purely:
-Chocolate, sugar-shelled eggs with creamy fillings and greasy, sandwich-like, sugary breads, blessed or not.
-Döner kebab. Not quite sure how that'll fit in there, but it probably does, somehow.
-The urge to huddle under the covers and not come out of bed for the day.
-The weather either too hot, too cold or too wet.
-The phone ringing more than it seems to do when it's not your turn to pick up.
-Getting your clothes stained with deodorant somehow.
-The absolute, resounding 'no' to all kinds of physical excercise.
-The demand for flannel sheets with mice on it. Big enough for a bed with room for two.
-Five-minute-lasting good intentions.
-Not finding your mom until you've solved it yourself.
-The urge to stay home and NOT see your family.
And last but not least:
-An excuse for your behavior.

(Tuesday=cleanup day. Saan's collecting her mess from all over the house tonight, so the post's short.)

Now go cook something tasty!

26-09-2006 om 21:41 geschreven door Saan  


25-09-2006
Klik hier om een link te hebben waarmee u dit artikel later terug kunt lezen.Celebrational cleanup
The blog's passed the five hundred visitor mark today and no one got horribly mutilated during Chemistry. Saan's making use of the occasion to thank everyone checking back here regularly and clean up her pc's hard disk. It's getting a wee bit full. Part of her folders are getting placed onto The Stick (tm) and most of her photos are going to the home network server, which has all the room Saan needs in its 300 GB of space. And her brother's messing with the electricity again, so the post's short in case we have troubles again. See ya.

25-09-2006 om 20:39 geschreven door Saan  


24-09-2006
Klik hier om een link te hebben waarmee u dit artikel later terug kunt lezen.Chemistry

Tomorrow saan has her first practical chermistry lesson of the year. In preparation, she got to look up the R- and S-factors of all used substances got looked up. This is meant to be a safety precaution, but Saan suspects it's meant to scare students into not trying anything funny. The first substance alone had the need for gloves, lab coat and safety goggles. The down part to the last is that Saan can't use them safely; she can't see further than two feet without her own glasses. If you put on safety goggles, they slide off and generally don't protect much. Ergo, no goggles for anyone wearing glasses already. The second substance goes so far as to have the safety suggestion that a facial protection mask can also be a smart idea. Both substances require medical advice if contact with the eyes is established. One also tells you to go to the doc if you have an accident with it or start feeling unwell. Eek, much. Risk factors: irritation to the eyes, skin and breathing system. Causes burns. Danger for a serious eye injury.

So, if there's no post tomorrow, an accident happened or Saan's lab partner poisoned her.

24-09-2006 om 20:28 geschreven door Saan  


23-09-2006
Klik hier om een link te hebben waarmee u dit artikel later terug kunt lezen.Writer's Block

Saan was going to write something today, but she hasn't any inspiration.
Brain storming gets results like 'World Peace', 'Love', 'Rain Worms', 'Sweet Little Rabbits with Flies On Their Noses' (And only Dutch-speaking BeNeLux inhabitants who regularly listen to the radio will get that one).
So there's no post today.
Not about fluffy rabbits, or newspaper misprints, or commong motives for murder.
Not even about the wicked vanilla pudding her mom made two nights back, or how she managed a freaky move that looks a bit like One On Each Side today, with her poi, though it was lots of fun to look at.
She could talk about her new socks, which are blue, fluffy, soft and excellent for sliding across hardwood floors (she did the test on her bedroom floor and catapulted herself into the bed), but that about sums it up.
Or, perhaps, she could count all the pieces of her sister's puzzle on the table, but the box says it are five hundred. It'd be a waste of good typing.
Maybe she could beat the Christmas rush and translate the star-song to English, but she can't sing, and it'd end up sounding freaky.
She wants to ask if someone knows the recipe for the awesome dessert she just had, but she doesn't know the name, and the waiter wouldn't tell. Or if anyone reading this has any culinary talents. Any suggestions are welcome; it contained lots of chocolate, and biscuit.
She could talk about how the fish that kept rising from the dead has finally died and has been flushed through the toilet and how the local humane society will be called in if the drain's clogged with rotting guppy corpses.
And then there's the Invisible Bruise on her hip that no one sees, but she does feel every time she gets up, or the headache that mysteriously disappeared after she turned on some music.
Oh, and apparently there are total strangers reading this that like what she's writing, which is probably why she kept on typing after the first sentence. Those that hate it can take a very long walk on a short pier and drown. See if Saan gives a damn.
Then there's the possibility of a monologue on what's on tv tonight, but without cable, you only have two real options. Saan has had all the French she can handle for one day.
She's also wondering on how she's gonna start on her poetic interpretation of Catullus' Carmen something of the Lesbia Lotsofpoems. Reading it over and over makes Saan convinced that a dog later will be less of a pest than a husband.
She could put a picture here, but she'd have to spend half an hour fiddling with the scanner and image.
She could get started on her St. Nicholas/Christmas/New Years/Birthday-wish list. So far, there's a set of leather finger-straps with ball-chains on it. And some fluffy poi heads to hang onto it, in pink, orange, rainbow or purple. The only problem is that it's too early.

So, sadly enough, there's no post today. Maybe Saan will have more inspiration tomorrow.

23-09-2006 om 21:50 geschreven door Saan  


22-09-2006
Klik hier om een link te hebben waarmee u dit artikel later terug kunt lezen.The POI adventure!!! Part Four!!
Klik op de afbeelding om de link te volgen At last (on request of the class Y-chromosone), Saan and the rainbow poi. Photographer: sis. Instructor: same sis. Hence the funky eyes and the funky expression. Sadly enough, no real move being done. Saan needs more practice.

22-09-2006 om 19:56 geschreven door Saan  


21-09-2006
Klik hier om een link te hebben waarmee u dit artikel later terug kunt lezen.Excuse #5: Torture
Saan's got a full day of PE-ahead and still has to wax her legs. Enough said.

21-09-2006 om 21:14 geschreven door Saan  


20-09-2006
Klik hier om een link te hebben waarmee u dit artikel later terug kunt lezen.Phishies

Saan's sister's fish are dying, one by one. It started once they added more fish to the three surviving. It usually does. You should, apparently, place the critters in some sort of quarantine before adding them to the others, or you get neurotic orange blobs burying themselves under volcanic-rock-like chunks and getting stuck until they starve to death, diseased fish that foam over, fish that manage to destroy the plants in the aquarium and then roll over and die. Fish that contaminate the water until you've got an empty aquarium.

You should also start off with a few fish, then, slowly, one by one, add more. Eleven-year olds do not have that kind of patience. No, no, they want lots of fish, and quickly, too. They name them, based on their gender and species. We had three guppies called 'Blub', one called 'Blob' and a striped little thing called 'Bloib'. Apparently,  the next time Saan's sis gets fish, the plan is to get them from a specialist and inform beforehand. 

Saan still thinks that one or two simple goldfish would have worked just as well, but she's alone in that. 

20-09-2006 om 21:48 geschreven door Saan  


19-09-2006
Klik hier om een link te hebben waarmee u dit artikel later terug kunt lezen.Elections coming up. Run.
Regional elections are coming up over here, and Saan hates it. It means that suddenly everyone working near the city hall in the past four years suddenly has this obsessive need to spread their pictures and slogans no one understands, without permit to do so. TV makes it into something even more hysterical: there apparently is a problem with someone not white trying for mayor, even if he's second on the list and no one but the interviewer and the man's own, discriminated side of the population seems to have any problem at all with, every slight misstep or displeasure of the past four years gets digged up, polished and presented nationwide, every politician is corrupt but apparently, whatever they did to get corrupted improved their city.

Yes, Belgium discriminates; if you are not white or do not look very much like a Japanese tourist, you tend to get discrimated. That a muslim woman may not wear her headscarf while working with, say, machinery, something where that innocent piece of cloth is a very real safety hazard, that's sort of understandable. Why a teacher can't wear it, while a teacher can wear a cross or even jewish symbols of faith seems to be ridiculous. People with darker skin color rarely get shown in the media unless they are A) artists of some kind, celebrities B) criminals, C) presenting children's programs and talking on level with someone who is suffering from severe brain damage, D) eye candy, decoration, something easy to get into bed with, E) representatives of a part of the population with roughly the same cultural back ground during a political conflict, F) people who are no official inhabitants of Belgium, born and raised in Belgium or tourists, G) servants, waiters, janitors, people who do other people's dirty work,  H) actors playing to be any of the above. Having an accent even gets you looked at funnily. Wearing uncommon clothing, having a daring hair style is the same as killing (some of) your opportunities in life. Saan has never been asked to show her passport to the nice policemen patrolling in the morning. Some kids from, say, African parentage sometimes get asked a dozen times a day. Belgium is told to have a problem between the south and northern part of it. No one except for politicians (who get bothered by having to print the tax forms in two languages, make every official web site in double) have. If you speak French, German or Dutch, people don't care. Just be Belgian. The fact that there's more trouble with Belgian kids beating foreign-looking kids up than the other way around is no problem.

All politcians are corrupt, no matter where you go. It's always picking either pest or cholera. They also are a different kind of corrupt than most non-politicians who are corrupt. The more they do for society, the more corrupt they are. You lessen the morning traffic jam, you manage to make half the schoolkids eat fruit and ban candy from the schools, you install more watering fountains, everything gets improved, and you'll get re-elected... But you'll be Satan incarnate when the papers get hold of you before the actual election.

So, that's in short, the insanity of Belgian regional elections. Saan is so very happy she's not eighteen yet right now.

19-09-2006 om 22:13 geschreven door Saan  


18-09-2006
Klik hier om een link te hebben waarmee u dit artikel later terug kunt lezen.Excuse #4: *Yawn*
Saan's got no post for today due to extreme exhaustion due to intensive studying and staying up late last night.

18-09-2006 om 21:55 geschreven door Saan  


17-09-2006
Klik hier om een link te hebben waarmee u dit artikel later terug kunt lezen.Minor Victories
September's passed its halfway mark. Saan's gotten past the initial September-Back-To-School-Madness. Her study work is starting to even out, she's getting used to it and starting to come back into the half-coma that is school during the day. The positive part about having all main functions tuned in to studying is that Saan no longer panicking like a maniac when she has more than two subjects to study for. The negative part about it is that it's Sunday, Saan's inspiration is nearing the zero-mark once more and Saan spent her day studying and playing mind-numbing computer games. The kind that makes pong seem like something active and fun. Her MP3-players batteries are dead. The alternate butterfly doesn't work on her left side and she wants to go Nordic walking. Check back tomorrow and you'll probably get something more lively.

17-09-2006 om 22:08 geschreven door Saan  


16-09-2006
Klik hier om een link te hebben waarmee u dit artikel later terug kunt lezen.Embroidery Lessons
Saan can do needlepoint. Honestly. She's got the ring, the needle and the access to lots and lots of patterns. Real handwork shops are few and far inbetween. Most people these days remember their last sewing or embroidery or knitting from school and then don't pass it on. Saan's mom teaches it to thirteen-year olds during their lunch breaks. Around this time of year, that means Saan's mom's busy staring at what her students need and make thirty packets of thread, needle and a patch of fabric with a pattern to go with it. Most of it's bunnies with lady bugs and simple patterns. By the end of the year, she'll loose two-thirds of her class. If she has two boys in her class, she's lucky.

She taught Saan how to do needlepoint at the age of five. Saan didn't actually get interested until she was about thirteen. Then it was on and off. Now, she sleeps with a ring, pattern, and needle in her nighstand. The only down side is that it's not very portable. And Saan's position changes as soon as she gets into it. Half of the time, it ends with people asking why she's lying on her back on her bed with her feet stretched up against the wall and her toes starting to feel oddly numb.

So tonight, the post's gonna stay at this due to Saan getting stuck cutting strips of cardboard, splitting threads and finding needles that tend to travel all over the house somehow.

16-09-2006 om 22:02 geschreven door Saan  


15-09-2006
Klik hier om een link te hebben waarmee u dit artikel later terug kunt lezen.Really short post

Saan's post's gonna be real short today 'cause she went to another fair, this time without fireworks or prior planning. She won a pink hippo (yaaay, pink hippo!) and spend the entire night playing puppeteer with it. Her brother's back, so the camera's back, too. More fishes for the fish-bulb tomorrow. To answer the question in last night's comment: Saan's not going anywhere. Deal with it, you territorial dimwit. Also: twenty-fifth birthday (sort of, twenty-five days old) of the blog! *pops kiddy-champagne*

Now go listen to the new Scala cd.

15-09-2006 om 23:22 geschreven door Saan  


14-09-2006
Klik hier om een link te hebben waarmee u dit artikel later terug kunt lezen.Reverse psychology
Try this sometime:
-SMILE. The creepy, 'I am deliriously happy and you won't understand' smile, bright with threatening enthusiasm. Act as though you mean it.
-Should people ask, you're brimming with happiness. Sun is shining, birds are singing, life is insanely good and right and beautiful. Be creative with your reasons. 'It's raining! The plants are getting some water!', 'It's freezing cold! Global heating can't be all that bad!', 'We've got more homework than time! A good reason to stay up late!', or, if it's a particulary dull and everyday day, fall back on things that didn't happen: the house didn't collapse, no earthquakes took place, no weapons of mass destruction to be found.
-Be enthusiastic, even if you get the lousiest things to do. As a matter of fact, volunteer for them. Try skipping your way toward them. Keep on smiling.
-Be polite. Greet everyone on your way. Shake hands with teachers and classmates. Apologise profusely for the slightest mistakes. Hold open doors, walk on the right side of the stairs and be the last one to leave the lift.
-Be positive. You've got a truckload of homework--but it's Friday tomorrow! You're dead tired--but you can go back to sleep in only seven hours of school! The entire world hates you and everything is against you and it isn't fair--but it can always get worse, so cheer up!
-Make wide, energetic gestures while doing all of this. Watch people duck.
-Motivate people who seem down. Move them into a happier position yourself if need be.
-Dance. Shake that booty. Wave your arms around. Make sure you've got no audible music around, or that people can't hear it. It looks freaky.
-Hug people. Alternate between sneaking up on people and pouncing with a cry of utter delight. It shocks the bejeesus out of most folks.
-Be social. Act interested. Ask embarrasing, intimate or personal questions, but make sure it won't hurt people's feelings.

If it works, you'll find suspiciously little people blocking your way to the places that are often blocked, people walking around you in a wide berth. You'll notice how your peers and elders and even younger people react seemingly unlogically to your giving off positive vibes. Your attempts at making life seem a little less depressive will confuse people and you will not be thanked. You'll probably be asked to quit it and act normal. You'll be given suspicious looks. If you feel like having a day to yourself and not having anyone bother you, try these abovementioned actions. It should work. Really.

14-09-2006 om 20:51 geschreven door Saan  




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