In November, Imran and me went to Antwerpen to visit some of his friends. One is from Bangladesh the other from Iraq. First, we went to Munir's house (the guy from Bangladesh). On the way the guy from Iraq called Omar was trying to convince me that Iraq was a good country and it was like a kind of competition which country was best.
When we arrived at the house Munir had cooked for us. In countries like Bangladesh and Sri Lanka they are used to eat with their hands. I did not have a problem with that but Omar was complaining about it. He asked them if they did not know spoons and knives existed.. I thought that was rude but he said to Imran: "She is eating with knife and fork and so should you". They kept quiet to avoid a quarrel.
After that we went to Omar's house because we were going to spend the night there. He was talking about his wife and sons who were still in Iraq. He wanted to bring them to Belgium but seeing as he did not have permanent residence here he could not bring them. This made him sad and he was thinking of maybe going back to Iraq because he missed them.
The whole night Omar was complaining about Belgium. That life is expensive here and that he is living in a small studio. He said that in Iraq he was a big house and his own shop and in Belgium he has nothing. I do not understand then why he came here in the first place...
In October me and my boyfriend who is originally from Sri Lanka, went to visit a newly wed couple. They got married in Sri Lanka. There were also some other people present who were all part of the same church. When they came to Belgium they converted from boeddhism to chrisianity and now they have a very strong faith and go to church every Sunday. The pastor was also there. She convinced me and my boyfriend to go and have a look at the next church service. My boyfriend called Imran is muslim but he does not have a very strong faith. So he did not have any problem to go.
The women who were at the house had been cooking together and they prepared some delicious dishes. The whole table was full of food. They asked us to sit at the table and eat. While we were eating some of the women kept on staring at us how we were eating. I thought it was strange and I thought maybe they have a doubt about the taste. So quickly I said it was delicious and they were happy to hear that but still they kept on staring at us..
Next Sunday we met the couple again to go to the church. The wife was holding her bible. Once we arrived we saw the church was full of people. Mostly Africans but also a lot of Sri Lankans and only a few Belgians. They were all singing and dancing. It was a bit of a shock because its totally different from the usual church services in Belgium. I saw the newly wed woman, called Naomi sitting very still. I asked if she liked the service. She told me that she is still a boeddhist and she is new in Belgium so she still had to get used to it. I thought maybe she is only doing it to please her husband?
When the service was finished, we were introduced to some of the other people of the church. Everyone was very friendly and I could tell that they were very strong believers. They all asked us if we would come again.
When we went outside me and my boyfriend felt happy because of the kindness of the people there. It is not something you experience every day in Belgium.
The next Sunday, however, we did not go to the service and immediately Imran got a phonecall from his friend to ask why we did not come. Then he asked him to come next week. But that week we also did not go because we did not have time and now we do not go anymore because that man got a little bit angry because we did not go and I do not want to be there if they are forcing us to be there. It is your own choice if you want to be there or not..
Imran works in an Italian restaurant as a waiter. When he first started working there the owners tought him what to do. The wife said she wanted to teach him how to make a tie. She just assumed he did not know how to make it but he did. When he showed her she was surprised. This shows that they think that Sri Lanka or maybe just any other Asian country is not developed like Belgium and that the people are not educated. They also like to show off in front of him. They have 2 cars and 1 is a porsche the other a ferrari. Maybe they thought he had never seen such cars..
The differences of our cultures have not affected our relationship. I have always been interested in countries such as India, Sri Lanka and Bangladesh because I like the food, the clothes and some of the traditions.
Some things were difficult for me to understand like when we first met he was shy and this is because of their lifestyle in Sri Lanka. Asians are not used to go to a girl and talk directly while as here in Belgium this is very common. But this approach I liked because it is something new and different. In Asia the younger people have more respect for elderly people and they don not call them by their name but they will call them brother or sister. They will also try to help their friends and family as much as they can. Even if they are having problems themselves they will put family and friends first and then they will try to fix their own problems.
