Ik ben Catherine Howard
Ik ben een vrouw en woon in Norfolk (England) en mijn beroep is Queen of England (for a short while).
Ik ben geboren op 15/07/1523 en ben nu dus 501 jaar jong.
Mijn hobby's zijn: Being Queen.
Greetings!
I am Catherine Howard, scion of the Howard family. In this fancy diary I shall put my thoughts over the week
5th Wife of Henry Tudor
16-06-2013
Nice executioners
England, the Tower of London10th
February 1542
My fate has been sealed; I now reside in the
Tower of London where I await my execution. I will be executed in three days. I
met the executioner, whos not a bad chap at all, he promised me it wouldnt
hurt, and that I wouldnt know what hit me. Im not sure whether he meant that
as a joke. As far as small favours go, I wont even die by the sword like poor
aunt Anne Boleyn. Itll be by axe, which involves a chopping block for me to
put my head on. So I asked the executioner to bring me the block in advance, so
I could practice putting my head in the perfect position. After all, I wouldnt
want to inconvenience this man, he carries the axe.
Yesterday poor Thomas Culpeper was executed:
hanged, drawn and quartered. Not a very nice way to die I believe. Most of my
family have been imprisoned and stand trial for treason. Treason even! Looks
like I messed this one up completely. I have little hope for my own survival,
though I do wonder why Im still here when so many innocents arent.
Well this is a bit of a pickle. For those who wonder:
Im imprisoned. I trust my queen Henry said, She wouldnt conduct any
amorous affairs he said. Well apparently he told Cranmer afterwards that I was
to be followed, observed and spied upon when the mighty king Henry was not
around himself. At the same time he had poor Thomas Culpeper tortured
tortured! I wondered why I didnt hear from him all this time.
On a side note, Ive been stripped of my title
not that it was all that great to begin with but still
I cant believe my good fortune! Cranmer told
Henry of the suspicions he had and the reports of my affair with Culpeper.
Henry dismissed him and told him in front of me that he trusted me. Looks like
I got away nicely there.
I think she knows. Mary Hall knows! Mary is a woman
who was part of our household about ten years ago. At first I thought she
couldnt do me any harm, after all shes just an old spinster. But her brother,
John Lascelles is one of the more trusted henchmen of Thomas Cranmer, the
archbishop of Canterbury. Aside from that hes also the kings most trusted
advisor, so yes this could be trouble.
Oh dear oh dear. I hope Henry doesnt get wind
of this. But sir Culpeper and I have begun an amorous relation. Somehow I have
a bad feeling about this, but as long as we keep it quiet, it shouldnt go too
badly.
Henry was out all week, so I sought a bit of
social contact elsewhere. I saw Thomas Culpeper, whos a really nice guy. I
know him from back in the day when I was the former queens handmaiden. In
fact, I considered marrying the chap back then. Theres something about him
that makes him so not-Henry.
England, Lambert, somewhere outside of London.8th
February 1541
Henrys actually a pretty ghastly husband; all
he wants me to do is give him a son. Now I wouldnt mind getting children and
so on, but I do take offense to being treated as a broodmare for his royal
highness.
Right, so Im now Queen Consort of England,
and I think I understand how this works. Im the wife of the King, but not
really the queen. So heres how this works: Im to beget a child first. Only
then will I be formally crowned as Queen of England. Its always the small
print isnt it?
WELL apparently Im going to be the next queen
of England I mean really THE QUEEN. Although it has been suggested that the
title will be Queen Consort which is alright I suppose. Henrys really quite
charming when he puts his mind to it. In the last week Ive received more
dresses and grants of land than I ever got in my entire life. Also, I think
this makes me one of the youngest queens of England in the history of this
country. Not bad for a queens handmaiden right? I just hope I dont end up
like auntie Anne Boleyn.
I knew it! I told you this would happen! His
majesty Henry divorced the now ex-queen Anne of Cleves. I knew she wouldnt
last much longer. Though I am getting the strange feeling that Henry is looking
at me more and more intently Im not really sure whats going on here.
What a joke the marriage between Anne of Cleves
and King Henry is! Apparently King Henry fell for the portrait of Queen Anne,
and presumed to marry her without even having seen her. When he did see her, he
cried out that she had the face of a horse! Knowing Henrys wanton discarding behaviour
when it comes to women, I dont think little Anne will last all that long. Not
that she has done me any wrong, but if she can be a queen ugly as she is then
what could I aspire to?...
Last week I was introduced to her majesty Anne
of Cleves, I am to serve her as handmaiden, my uncle, the duke of Norfolk, got
me this post. Im quite lucky to receive this post really, since were not
exactly the richest noble family in the realm and since the post of the queens
handmaiden is a much sought-after post.
