I went out with a friend. He had no keys of my place. After I left he went out... without me knowing. I came home... looking around... he wasn't there. I called him, he doesn't answer my call. After a few more he finally answers my call. He was out, left behind my back. He went to a bar across the street. He was drunk... again.. altough he promised me he wouldn't drink anymore. After a few hours he came home. We argue, it comes down to another fight. I threw him out and close the door. I went upstairs, took all of his clothes and threw them out of the window... on the street. He called a friend to pick up his clothes. My son was only 7 months old. It was a sad thing for him. After a few months his parents went to court. The judge decided that his dad could see him for a weekend every two weeks. From his birth on I was the only one who took care of him and now his parents wanted to take him away from me... After an half year I met someone else... he was a good man, at least I thought he was untill we got married...
At the age of 12 my parents couldn't handle me... I never agreed with my mother. It went like this for years. At the age of 15 I ran away from home... childfocus was looking for me everywhere... I stayed with a friend. Back then I thought it was fun, but when I look at it now... it's not ok at all... I guess it wasn't easy for my parents. I went out with friends most of the time. I barely went to school. After that I got a boyfriend, been with him for a year or something... he was a gipsy... he cheated on me and he lied to me. After a year I was sick of all that so I stopped our relationship. I hong out with some friends... tried some drugs. I became my parents' worst nightmare. They never knew about the drugs. One time I had to go to the hospital cus I took too much. I got myself into an other relationship... an other gipsy... an other good choice. I got pregnant after 3 months. My parents are against abortion so I had to keep it. During my pregnancy I've changed. From the moment I knew that I was pregnant I stopped with the drugs, got myself together and went back to school. I went to live with him at his trailerpark. That's where it all started. After I went to live with him he wouldn't stop with the drugs. He started to hit me when he was drunk. He went out with friends almost every night. I just stayed home... pregnant and alone. A few months after my son was born I went out with him and some friends. I ran into a girl, she asked me "How do you know that guy?" I replied "He's my boyfriend, I live with him and I have a son with him". After I said that she ran away. I went after her and asked her what was wrong. She told me that my boyfriend slept with a friend of her the weekend before. I went outside with the girl... talked with her... it wasn't her fault... she couldn't know. We went back inside... we went to him and asked him what the hell was going on? He couldn't find any words. I went home and left him. After a month he came back to me, begging me to take him back. I said to him "Ok, I'll take you back. But only if you stop drinking and taking drugs." He said he would do that... so silly of me to believe his words.
Scarlet lips as red as a rose, perfect hips in a seductive pose. On the outside this is what I may be, but what about looking at the heart within me.
Long dark hair, surrounding my face, baby blue eyes and full of grace. This is what most men chase, but my soul and feeling cannot be erased.
They say that these looks are a sensation, that I am one of God's best creations, But all I really want is for you to see, all the good that is within me.
I've decided that I'm moving back to my parents' house. I have to leave my appartement anyway so it's a good thing, maybe now I can save some money. I quit my job yesterday, I was so sick and tired of her... She thinks the whole world envolves around her cus she has a lot of money. Well now she can find someone else to clean up her mess, cus I'm not going to do it anymore. I think that I'm going back to school, I want to be a bachelor in businessmanagement. But first I have to work to pay my studies. I cought someone on a lie yesterdag... Are they really all the same? I talked with him on messenger for weeks now, he wanted to meet but I was like "I think I'll wait with that for a moment, I want to get to know him first before I meet him". It's a good thing I thought like that cus after all these weeks, I found out that he has a girlfriend. He said that if he told me he wouldn't got the chance to now me. Yeah good point! Now I got to now him in a lie... I also talked with a friend, I don't hear him much. It was strange... I realized he has the same lifevision as mine.... How could I not have noticed that? Yeah, ok I talk with him on msn but that happens very often. It's strange, he's so young but still has that kind of vision. I don't know... I doubt that he could handle my situation... It's not easy raising 3 kids if they aren't your own... I don't know.. I guess time will tell...
I'm moving... from Antwerp to Meerhout.... I'm done with Antwerp. People don't have any respect for each other. I don't want my kids to grow up like that. But I wish it was easier... finding a job... a new place to live. A new life wouldn't be that bad. Away from the people you know... no more gossip and stuff. Since my divorce.. I stared to live... had fun with my friends and stuff. But now I have to think about myself and my kids. I don't want them to grow up surrounded by people who don't have respect for each other. So I'm done... in a few week I pack my bags and leave. A friend of mine is coming over from greece this week. Another guy running after me... I don't want a random guy... I need someone where I can count on... someone true, someone honest, someone who will be there for me when I need him. It's hard these day to find a guy like that. Most of them only want one thing... but not me... time to settle down...
