The 9th of July must have a spell on me. It was on this date in 1999 that Christine and I ran off with eachother, in spite of both still being married to someone else. A year later, we held a big wedding party on this day and in 2003 we made this wedding official, again on the 9th of July. But who could have imagined that exacty ten years after Christine and I started our lives again from scratch, we would again go through one of the most painful and emotional days of our lives. 

It is half past ten when I drive up the entrance lane to the Eurocontrol building. Eurocontrol is the organisation that coordinates all of the air traffic in the old continent. For more than five years I've worked there as the IACA representative in what is called the "Aircraft Operators Liaison Cell". Yet I'm surprised when my badge still opens the barrier to the staff parking. Hurray! Alas, when I arrive in my office, my colleague and friend Len brings me back with my feet on the ground as he informs me that my computer has already been deactivated. Well, that was to be expected of course. The compromise with IACA was that I would clear up my desk and leave immediately, so I shouldn't moan about it. After all Christine and I were the ones who had taken the decision to completely change our lives. On the other hand, the impact of that decision struck me very hard in the face at this moment. I started wandering around the building, saying "goodbye" and "thank you" to everyone I encountered. But it all feels a bit uncanny. As if I'm a ghost dwelling through a fixed moment in time when everything else continues to go on around me; like if nothing has happened. I'm no longer part of that life now. The many pats on the back and best wishes do make it easier to bare. It's an incredible feeling when you realise that everyone so much appreciated your work and company.

It's a quarter past three when I eventually return to my office to pick up a few souvenirs and leave. Len isn't there but he left a note on my desk saying that he's in a meeting and that I should ring him on his mobile. When I walk one last time towards the reception, he's standing there waiting for me. He doesn't say a lot but his eyes tell me more than a million words. I don't consider him to be a friend anymore. He's become my father. Tears well up in my eyes and the emotions take control over me. I want to give him a big hug but my body just won't respond anymore. I look back one last time and then leave the building. It rains heavily. And it also rains heavily in my heart. I can't contain my tears any longer and cry like a little boy out of anger, hate and frustration. Gradually this changes into regret. I've always loved my job so very much. And it makes my head spin when I think about the incredible friendship that I always received from the people at Eurocontrol, the Airlines and the Air Traffic Control Centres. Oh... why did it have to go this way and oh... how much will I miss them all. But one can't control everything in life. And perhaps all of this just had to happen so that I'd realise that our life wasn't meant to remain here. A new life is calling us in Italy... a better life... 

Andiamo in Italia!!! 

09-07-2009 om 00:00 geschreven door Peter