29-04-2012 om 22:48 geschreven door Anneke  

Last week she told me she needed some mothering,

she couldn’t take any more smothering.

She said she needed some care,

she wasn’t bothered how or where.

She said she needed it quiet,

she couldn’t stand the constant fight

going on inside her head,

she wanted peace instead.

She said she felt so rotten.

She seemed to have forgotten

all those good times she had had.

It made me feel so sad.

There was so little I could do,

Lord knows I wanted to.

So I said: ‘You’ll be alright!’

I just heard

she died last night.

15-08-2010 om 04:26 geschreven door Anneke  

Grumbles, grunts, and smiles

The adult and the child

The intelligent old me

The kid that’s bright and bubbly

Confident, yet fearful

Strong, but sometimes tearful

Sadly shallow, and inherently profound

Alone, and lonely, with so many friends around

Innocent and full of shame

Careful, but still easy game

Dependent and dependable

Breakable but mendable

Negative, yet happy to live

Stubborn, yet able to forgive

So clever and so dumb

So lively and so numb

Fast, slow, well, ill

Looking shabby, dressed to kill

Hard, loud, talkative

Gentle, soft and sensitive

With great respect

And naïve neglect

I can climb

And I can fall, that too

I can be it all

With or without you.

17-07-2010 om 21:38 geschreven door Anneke  

I'm in bed,alone.

It's dark.

I can hear the rain outside,

I think,

but I plugged up my ears.

I must be raining on the inside,

topping up my reservoir of tears.

I wonder what these will be stored for?

If they're to be for times of joy,

let there be more!

If they're to roll over my face

as I recover from a fit of laughter

or as I find myself in a daze

pondering life, or the there-after

or as I see something that touches me so;

let them flow!

Perhaps some of them will be to share,

just because I care

what a friend is going through,

sometimes there's little else to do.

A fair few, no doubt,

will go to things that seem outside my control

as I watch reports on tv,

like wars, earthquakes, drought...

taking a massive toll

yet so little to do with me.

Some will be reserved for sneezing

yawning, coughing, wheezing,

or when there's something in my eye,

or to accompany a sigh.

And if there's a few spare

in the end

for a cry

now and again

just for me,

PLEASE, let it be!

06-07-2010 om 23:24 geschreven door Anneke  

You may bask in the radiance that is my presence,

You may tan in the light that shines out of my arse,

You may learn from my valuable lessons,

But don’t you ever dare ask.

You may enjoy my immeasurable patience,

You may delight in the resplendence of my energy,

You may admire the value of my many relations,

But don’t you ever question me.

You may marvel at my skill, my grace, my brain,

But you will always remain silently devout,

Because it is very plain:

You are never meant to find out.

31-05-2010 om 19:24 geschreven door Anneke  

Now my arthritic hand

Strokes your wrinkled cheek.

My aged eyes

Follow your brittle motion.

And I still seek

With the same emotion

For what, in years,

I thought I’d found.

In my deaf ears

Your words still sound.

As I think of them again

I know that none of it has been in vain.

23-05-2010 om 12:31 geschreven door Anneke  

One of these days

When I stop dreaming, and hoping,

and start working with plain facts,

I might start coping,

I might relax.

One of these days

When I stop the search, and cease the fight,

Maybe I will be alright.

And if I do come to take off my mask

And face the world in all its glory

I might be clear about my task

And finally understand the story.

Then I will settle any debt,

But not just yet.

18-05-2010 om 12:34 geschreven door Anneke  

‘I’m on incapacity now’ I answer.

‘Oh, is that good?’ you ask.

It’s alright, but I’d rather have my life back.

‘I don’t know what to say’, ‘It’s shit’, you say.

‘Ring me any time you need to talk’, you say.

Well, thanks, but I’d rather have my life back.

‘I can take you out for a ride’, you say.

‘It will get you out of the house’, you say.

And it does, but I’d rather have my life back.

‘You’ve got so much courage. You’re so strong’, you say.

‘Strength takes on many different forms’, you say.

You might be right, but I’d rather have my life back.

‘Have you thought of…’,  you say.

‘Perhaps if you…’ , you say.

‘Couldn’t you…’,  you say.

‘Why don’t you…’ , you say.

‘Hadn’t you better…’, you say.

While I struggle on trying to get some of my life back.

17-05-2010 om 14:58 geschreven door Anneke