Everyday over and over again. Is loving someone also being mean? Saying words that hurt, words that you hear but feel like a slap in your face. I know everyone has those problems sometimes but I just can't handle it anymore. You've asked me if I would kill anyone who hurt you or made you unhappy, and I said yes. But little did you know that I would also kill myself in de proces of your happiness.
While you are watching TV or playing your stupid games I can feel the blood tripping, I feel my clothes getting wet. So I hurry of to the bathroom, wash away the blood and put on something else. When I come back you look at me, saying nothing and just stare back at your screen.
You didn't know.
When you will know it will be to late.
This one is for everyone who ever said they loved me.
That feeling You get when You feel save with someone but You know You could never Be with that person or that person would never Be able to Love you like you do.
Scared of losing the people I love. Scared of losing myself in the battle. Scared of people, nature. Even scared of my own reflection in the mirror.
In school we all learn about history, math, all kinds of verbs but what we don't learn is how to stand up for each other, how to stand up for ourselves, how to face our fears. But instead of facing our fears we try to hide it. We hide our weakness so that the people who want to see can't get close. So they won't see your fears. But everyone is afraid of something. It's okay to be afraid of spiders, the dark, an open door, or even for waking up or going to bed at night. It's okay. We did not learn how to be brave at school. But we do have a lifetime to learn how to life with fears, how to show does fears to other. We have a lifetime to proof that fear is not what makes you weak. What makes you weak is hiding your fear.
You think it's hard to talk to your friends, boyfriends, or even your own family?
Think about how they would feel if they figure something out about you that you have never said to them before? They would be broken. Yes you van be scared to say it to them, but do not forget that your best friends, boyfriend and your family are there to listen to you. They are there to help you, even with your most darkest secret. Yes they may be scared, confussed or wathever but that doesn't mean that they won't be there for you. They WILL help you, they WILL listen to you, they WILL be there for you. Do not ever think that you are alone, 'cause you're not. There's Always someone who will help you and listen. never forget that no one is alone. How hard you might think and believe that there's no one. There is.
