Welcome to this little piece of artwork I call home. To let you know a bit about me, i'll introduce myself a little bit.
I'm a 22 year old girl, living in a little town in Belgium Most of all I will post poems that have helped me through a rough time. At the age of 14, my father died. He suffered from cancer. I never had the courage to face my problems. Instead, I ran away from them. But with the time I started to notice that I can't run from everything en that everything has to have a place in your life. I started writing poems. Some sad, some happy, some depressive and some agressive.. But most of all, my poems helped me face reality. And that was what I needed..
Afraid of being alone
want to run away
to a far away country.
Never look back
to no one.
Because no one is really
there for you.
Ive had hope in humans
but my hope is fading away.
I now, more and more
realize that Im alone.
No one there to save me
from loneliness.
No one to save me
from my desperate thoughts.
No one who gets me.
They all say, Its the best.
Id rather be alone,
No one to cheer me up.
Nobody to tell me what to do
and especially no one
whos always nagging
about things I really
dont care right now.
I wanna be alone, but then
again, Im afraid off it.
Lifes hard, too hard.
The time
has come, it's been to long.
Always staying in the same place, not a nice future ahead.
Just questions, why, what if, what else?
There are people with me and people against me.
Should I be egoistic? Can I for just once think about me and put myself in the
first place?
Should I follow my heart or my instinct that tells me to get out of there.
Decisions you hate to make, but you still gotta make em, how much you even hate
it.
Isnt there somewhere a little black door? which you can use to escape reality?
No, of course there isnt.. Who would come up with a foolish idea of a little
escape door.
One that you can only use 3 times in your life.
I wouldve already lost 2 times.
First when my daddy died and 4 months later when my best friend took the last way
out.
I still miss them and I really want to know what they would have thought.
What good advice they would give me.In
fact: I dont need a long time to know that my
dad would have always stayed behind me.
What dumb decisions I make or what boyfriend I would bring home .
He would have wanted only the best for me, even if he didnt like him.
But what the fuck am I talking about..
Ill never know what my dad would think about my bfs, hes probably laughing
at me from up there.
Hes probably even screaming the answer, but I still cant hear him.
I can only think of him and try not to forget him.
why does life has to be so hard?
Because its part of the deal? Or because you have to make mistakes to become a
grown up person.
To realize what life is all about..
Maybe life isnt hard, maybe it seems hard because of all the emotions we
share.
Because were humans with real feelings,maybe its because we dont want to hurt someone else?
But is it so terribly wrong, just for once, doing your own thing?
Not thinking about what the rest feels?
Just dont have to be careful with what you say.
Just for once having an own opinion?
Just doing what you really want to do and dont have to be afraid of peoples
reactions.
Isnt that what they always say? Live your life to the fullest
Get out of life what you can
Life is what you make out of it
Don't worry about me because i'm gone.. I've worried about you for oh so long.. But you came out great and that's what counts.. Even if it's sometimes out of bound.. I'm doing well up here and I have your back.. As long as you think of me.. I'll always come back..
Where are you? I know you're in my heart I know you'll always be there I know you're far away But i wish you where still here I wanna talk to you I wanna hold you and feel you I wanna say how much I really love you And that it will never change Sometimes I wish I could die Maybe more than once Just to know what it feels like To live, to love and to die I wish i could be with you And do the things we used to do I know that i won't see you anymore Only in my dreams, just to wake up And cry, like I never cried before To hope and cherish my memories To think back, to remember the things we've been true And the good times we shared.. laughing and talking About stuff you never talk about To relive the good times and also the bad I know it sounds crazy But sometimes i feel you As if you stood right next to me Holding my hand and whispering in my ear That everything wil be allright. Altough it sometimes isn't as easy as it lookes Being strong... Without you... My best friend... My biggest love... My dad...
When i'm walking down the road I can still see your footsteps they're leading me a way I don't know where it will lead me to but I trust you, so I follow it and as i'm walking true life I know i've made the right decision to follow your path and become a person like you lots of friends, no enemy's and fun to become who you wanted me to be and make you proud as a father..
