I had this conversation with my boy about trying to find a house for ourselves and about kids.We spoke about where we would live how we would do things and how we would act when our childred would do certain things. So we would not be on different levels when it comes to raising a child. Oh my word I'm so happy! Our relationship grows stronger everyday! And the other thing that's great, i know that my mother is utterly jalouse of me having such a good relationship!
Well, some are just lucky to find their true love early in their lifes :D
Whoever reads this, it won't be a happy story or whatever. I just have to write it down for myself.
I'm adopted and I live with my mum I have now since I was one year old. My mum had a really strong need to have children but her husband back then couldn't give that to her so she decided to adopt. After a year her husband left her because he found someone else he thought was better. There were a lot of fights and they went to court a lot. They spend about three years fighting that way. Now, almost 18 years later I'm struggling with the way things went from then. My mum remarried and had another child. My younger brother is not completely normal. Ever since he was born all the attention went straight to him. I think I only got the base and then raised myself. That's the only explanation I've got for the fact that I'm so different from them. The way they are and the way they act is completely different from me. When I was younger I did not really notice it but when I got older I saw that friends got hugs and kisses from their parents. Something my brother gets but not me. For almost four years now I have boyfriend. And I love him with all my heart! His mum is the best and sometimes I wish my mum was more like her. The way she behaves and the way she just cares for my boyfriend. My mum hates her because she thinks his mum has a great influence on me. As in, she's taking me away from my mum. My mum is sick and thinks she can't do anything. The only things she's good at, is searching the web for useless things. That's the reason why became fat and got all those deseases she's got. But she just refuses to do exercise. And everytime I say something about I have to shut up and mind my own business. Also her dominance is just awfull. My father is like the stay home mum and the working dat all in one. My mum does nothing. And thats what's bothering my dad so much. And I see it everyday. And I noticed a while ago, that my parents are starting to discover things about me they should have know years ago. Like the fact that I don't like certain veggies and all that kinda stuff. Like come on. You're parents for godsake, you should know things like that. And then there's the fact that I'm way smarter than them. Im not saying this because I think I'm the best or something but it's actually the truth. There's nothing more irritating than being smarter than your parents.
Now I have this really strong need to have kids of my own. I grows stronger and stronger every year. I can't stand it! But mostly because the hidden reason for this need is to let my parents see how to raise a kid. My brother is getting the how not to raise your child kinda treatment.
wow, i'm reading this and there's is no logical order in the way i write things! Anyways, my brother is really annoying. In his head ihe's like 6 years younger. But the thing is, my parents dont get the fact that they have to act as if he was 6 years younger. Because younger kids can also learn what's good and what not. Now he's like the little god in the house. When he does something wrong, he just needs to kiss my mum and all of the things he's done are forgiven. If I'd done things when I was that age, i would have been grounded untill i was 21!!
I just can't take it any more. I really want a place for my own. Where I can live with my lovely boyfriend. Have children and be a stay at home mum. But in the world we live I have to work just as hard as my man just to pay the bills. Sometimes I wish we'd live 50 years ago. When mothers could stay home and did not have to work. I would clean the house and welcome the kids from school with tea and sweets. And help them with their homework and make sure that when my man comes home dinner is served and everything is done!
What would that be a good life. Ah well, I'll just have to stay strong untill i finally have a place for my own and maybe have enough money to have the life I dream about!
