It's kinda strange, but in a way I feel like it's safer to write it here, so my lil'world doesn't know it write now. So here I go, I hope x]
It's been 3 weeks now that my boyfriend broke up with me. I don't know how I really feel right now. I miss him, off course, but I let myself not to cry or miss him all the time, because I hope that it will hurt less. I don't know how I can really say it, I love him still, but I can't let him know. My heart's broken, but I won't let him know. Just another rule in this world. I don't know what I can do, just letting him go and hoping he still loves me too and wanna come back [risk], or not letting go and having nothing left. It's just strange, you know, how hard it can be someone you really love not seeing him loving you back at that moment. So whether you chose to let go or not, in the end it's hurting all the same, I think.
Next week starts college again. It's another year, different people, but still me. I'm just hoping that everything will be okay. That I won't regret it or that I won't fail again. Can't do this to my dad, you know.
At home, it's just me, my dad and my brother. No mother in the picture. Doesn't matter anyway! It's kind of funny. I'm the oldest, I have to work and he just sits back, watching the rest of us go work, while he's just enjoying the benefits of being the youngest. Anyway I'm used to it.
