Last time with the prayer group I experienced very strongly the unity between all people. It just happened. Like that. We intentively make some particular qualities in ourselves grow. At first I was thinking "trust", because I catch myself distrusting from time to time. But then I started to think about my girlfriend and the word "softness" popped in my mind. When I see sterness in her, it means there is still sterness in myself. So we started to pray for softness. It was not clear for who I was praying: me or my girlfriend? And it didn't matter. And I realized that her healing is my healing too. And later on, someone of the group said she was very happy with the softness I put in the group. The moment we started to pray, I immediately experienced softness in the way we were praying. Our voices went soft from the first to the last second.
I'm creating a vision board for the new year 2012. I decided this is the year of healing, compassion, joy and love.
Last week I had these amazing insights. I join a small group of young people who come together every week to pray. We use affirmative prayers to open our qualities and talents to bring our unique Gift to the world and to share this with all others.
While praying, sentences of the Our Father prayer crossed my mind. "Your kingdom will come. Your will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven." and from Hail Mary "blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus". I took me almost 30 years to fully understand and feel the strength of these words. And it's amazing. People do have the strength to make Heaven a place on Earth. WE DO!
If we believe that, the new reality has already been born. Every change starts within our minds, and from that point, it can materialize. If we don't believe, we prevent the new reality from happening. If we all start believing in each others strength, we can make the world a better place every day. Especially the people we think, who are lost, we have to believe and trust they will find their path in life.
My real name is not Mary. But somehow, I feel very connected with Mother Mary. I don't consider myself as being very Catholic. My grandmother was and she visited Lourdes a couple of times. When I was a kid, I had a whole collection of Bernadette-and-Mother-Mary gadgets. Unfortunately, Mother Mary didn't cross my mind for about twenty years. Till recently. I believe I've opened my heart and mind to the strength of her gentle energy.
The big questions in my life about Womanhood have risen in my life. I'll be 30 at the end of March. And I struggle with an inner disconnection between love and sexuality. I dream of having children with my partner. And my partner doesn't. We're not even living together yet. She can't let her own mother go (and her mother can't let go of her daughter). And then there is me... longing so much for a baby in my life, ready for this strong and lifechanging commitment.
I'm being gratefull for all wonderful things in my life. But somehow, I hope Mother Mary will guide me through these challenges. I intend to ask my mother if she wants to join me on a visit to Lourdes, I may get answers overthere. Curious about her reaction.