Nobody knows but me. I still remember it. I will think of you every single minute of the day. My mind keeps that memory of you, lying there waiting to die. Still glad I was with you. Thank you for loving me. You're a star in heaven now. Give grandpa a big hug. Tomorrow is your day. You will be on my mind!
There's a girl in my mirror. I wonder who she is... Sometimes I think I know her and sometimes I really wish I did. There's a story in her eyes of lullabies and sad goodbyes. When she's looking back at me I can tell her heart gets broken easily...The girl in my mirror is crying tonight and there's nothing I can tell her to make her feel allright... she's crying because of you and I wish there was something I could do...
If I could I would tell her not to be afraid. The pain that' she's feeling... tell her it would eventually fade. When she's looking back at me I know nothing works that easily...
What if everything you worked so hard for is falling apart?
What if you wished you could turn back time?
What if you try so hard but you just don't succeed?
I was who I wanted to be.. now I'm not that sure anymore. People should love me, no matter what. But all I keep doing is pleasing others and put myself on the sideline. The only thing I want for one time only: feeling important to someone. and I don't know if this is ever going to happen... I'll explain later
Parents are supposed to be the ones that love you for who you are, unconditionally. Can you guess? Mine don't. They want me to live the life they have planned for me. It feels like I can't even be myself in my own house. Sometimes I even feel that no one understands what I'm going through. Not my parents and not the person I love...
How much longer will it take for me until I finally have a breakdown? All alone, completely misunderstood and no one seems to care at all... Lonely on the inside but hiding it for everyone. How does anyone keep pretending? All you can do is fake a smile and hope for better days. Maybe I will get up and see there's a reason why it had to be so hard at first. Hope that day will come soon cause I don't know how much longer I can pretend... Pretend to be happy, pretend to have a reason to wake up every single morning. Everybody knows me as the girl that has it all, has everything she ever wanted. But they don't see I've never felt so alone before..
All these questions running through my head. What if I'm selfish and impatient towards others? Too demanding? So busy with my problems that I don't see that I'm the main reason of my unhappiness? You're probably thinking I should do what makes me happy, and stop nagging about it but it's not that simple. My luck comes with a high price...
And I believe that X can make me happy, I really do, but it just hurts so much. I'm just a girl who wants to be loved by the ones she loves...
How much longer can I live like this? Someting has to change... I want to be happy, be worthwhile to X and most of all, feel worthwile to myself... but that's a long road to go when you don't believe in yourself...
